The Therapist >> h.s.

"There are other ways to be free.", He says, looking up in to my eyes. I keep my sharp stare at him, "Not if you aren't allowed to have it." © Copyright of Maggi Styles ♡ 2014. All rights reserved.

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3. ii

 

Music. Everyone knows what it is. Everyone feels something when they listen to it. I drown myself in it. It's like my drug when I can't get any actual drugs. Nate use to be my drug, but then he took to many.

I turn the song  'Take Care' by Tom Rosenthal on. My speakers blare it in my room. Even though it is a soft song, doesn't mean it can't be loud.

Ever since my parents divorced music has been my go to medicine. But when I met Nate, he was then my go to medicine. I loved him.

I'm okay now. Not really but I think he would want me to move on. I've tried, and its really hard, but it's not like I expected it to be easy.

I faintly hear a call for my name, "Jenna?"

I look up seeing Dr. Styles coming into the room. I turn back to my journal, sketching in it.

He yells over the music, "Could you turn that down?"

I get up from the bed, walking towards him. My smirk on my face grows as I slide off my jacket. I grab his jacket, pulling his torso towards mine. Our lips almost meet, but i pull away so he couldn't catch my lips on his. I take his bag, and coat throwing it onto the floor. I jump and he catches me, my legs wrapped around his torso. Our lips finally meet. I deepen the kiss, as his hands travel down my skimpy tank top. The music is so loud, its like pumping into my veins.

He whispers against my neck, "What would Nate think about this?"

​"Could you turn that down Ms. Marks? Ms. Marks?", He yells louder.

I blink a couple times, seeing that I was day dreaming about making out with my therapist.

"Could you excuse me? I need to wash my face." I turn my music off, and practically rushing to the bathroom. My hands fumble to the sink, turning it on. The cool water comes out as I take some in my hands splashing it onto my face.

What would Nate think about this?

What would Nate think about this?

What would Nate think about this?

The question kept bubbling through my head, as I dry off my face. Am I a terrible person? 

I walk back out into my room, seeing Dr. Styles putting out all of his things. I sit down in my chair, "Dr. Styles, may I ask you something?"

He nods, "That's what I'm here for, to talk."

I take a breath, "Is it normal to be thinking about moving on? I mean it hasn't been long. Am I a bad person?"

"I think feelings are confusing. I don't think their are any wrong feelings. When you move on you move on. It's normal to have these thoughts."

I pick at the edge of my nail, "But I'm just a bit.."

I stop at mid sentence . Im not fucking scared. No I'm not.

"What were you going to say?"

"I think you should go.", I say sharply.

He chuckles, "I just got here."

"I'm not feeling well."

He nods, picking up his stuff, looking disappointed as he leaves the room. 

I scream. I scream as loud as I can, but then it turns to a soft cry. My feelings escaping through the tears falling from my eyes. I'm so fucked up. I don't even know what to do.

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