If You Love Me Let Me Go

"Six months ago you did it... Six months ago, you ended your life.."


1. I'll Be Back Soon

(Valerie's P.O.V.)

"Six months ago, you did it... Six months ago you ended your life."

These words left my lips with the heat of my breath in the cold dry air.

I stood over my boyfriend- ex-boyfriend? I don't know. Anyway, I stood over the grave of  boy who once loved me, and who I had once loved.

All I really remember is going to his house one day just like any other, walking in his room, and seeing him lying on the bed, cold and dead. There wasn't a pill bottle, or a gun, just him. He looked peaceful, like an angel but with no light. Everything else is a blur because of the tears and the tripping and all of that fun stuff.

Today, it's November twenty-eighth. Six months after my angel ended his light.

"Hi.. I feel like it would be more appropriate if I talked to you like I used to so, here it is," I could hardly get the words out.

"Um," I sniffed, "Calum, he, uh, said he came earlier today, and talked to you. I don't really believe him because he was still in bed when I went over to see how he was. Michael is um...sucky, I guess you could say. He isn't happy. He hasn't dyed his hair in a while either. After you did it, he kinda just let himself go. Not with weight or anything..just, his normal appearance. Ashton is trying to be himself. He's almost gone back to his old ways but, there is no way any one of us will let him. He tries to be the happy, chirpy, little nub he is but, it's hard when everyone surrounding you is sad." The tears that I tried to hold in my eyes soon fell.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I stomp my foot, both hands in my coat pocket, and a cold breeze coming over my face, "God damn it, Luke! Why did you have to do it, huh? Why? Why couldn't you have just stayed here with us and have had the chance to make things better. Just a slight possibility that maybe, just MAYBE life could be better!"

I took a deep breath, "sorry.. So I heard from someone that 'Lucas' means 'light.' I can't remember where I heard it but, all I remember was having them leave, then locking myself in my room... Elle is about the same as Michael. I mean it makes sense right? They always had the same emotions and opinions about everything. God they're cute. Haley and Calum are the same way. Everyone but Ashton always had their "one," huh? I mean even though they never had the guts to ask the girls out but, you and I both knew they would be perfect for each other."

I pulled out my phone. I had a text from Elle. It read: "we are all meeting at our spot. I know you're probably with Luke. take your time, but we are having our annual mourning day. love you, be safe."

I put my phone back in my pocket and wiped a tear from my cheek. I stood looking at Luke's headstone for what felt like hours. Re-reading the same quote, over and over again.

"Find something that makes you happy and don't let anyone take it away from you."

I dried my tears again and said faintly, "I'll be back soon. I love you."

I hopped in my car are started driving to my group's spot. It was a spot by a river in town. Surrounded by trees and there was a rope swing, it was nice. The only part I hated was walking to it.

I walked back down the small pathway and saw my friends all sitting around a fire pit that we built ourselves. I didn't see Ashton or Calum, probably because they were getting wood for the fire. I'm not sure. Elle and Haley saw me. They stood up and walked over to me with open arms. The twenty-eighth of ever month sucked for us. It was the anniversary or Luke's death, and we all showed up here because this was the last place all of us were together before he did it.


(AN: hiiiii let me know what you think even though it is the first chapter. Your feedback means a lot to me. A lot more coming soon. Thanks(:

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