If You Love Me Let Me Go

"Six months ago you did it... Six months ago, you ended your life.."


3. First Day

(Valerie's P.O.V)

"Mom, please don't make me go," I begged.

"Valerie you're going whether you want to or not," my mother stated.

"But I won't know anyone. I'll just be that awkward new girl that no one will talk to."

"I understand why you don't want to go. But darling, it's only your first day. Go today and see if you like it. If not, tough shit."

I rolled my eyes at my mother and went upstairs to put on my new uniform. I have never gone to a school and had to wear one, so I was definitely going to feel even more awkward. I picked up the skirt, the button down top, the blazer, and went to the bathroom. I put on the button down and tucked it into my skirt. I put my arms through the blazer and buttoned it closed. The deep blue accentuating my eyes. I pulled out my straightener from under the bathroom counter and plugged it in. I sectioned off my hair and began to straighten it. When I was done I put on my mascara-the only make up I wear- and brushed through my hair. I went back into my room and put on my shoes. I grabbed my "first day of school items" and walked downstairs.

"Are you ready?" My mom asked.

I hesitated, "sure."

She smiled at me, "well let's go."

My mom and I walked out to the car.

It was my first time living outside of the United States and I wasn't sure if I was liking it. I moved here early this summer and most of the time I would sit in my room and read. It's hard to talk to your friends when they are living fifteen hours behind you. It was only my freshman year of high school. My mom and dad told me now would be best because I hadn't started high school yet.

My mom and I pulled up to the front of the school, parked, and got out. Then I saw all of the students. "My fellow classmates," as my father would say. My mom walked me up to the front of the school. We went into the office. I sat down on the waiting chairs while my mom talked to the secretary about me and the school and whatever.

"If she wants, we could call a student down to help her walk her schedule," the woman said with her thick accent.

My mom looked at me and shrugged.

"I don't think it would be fair to the other freshmen if I had a guide and they didn't," I said quietly.

The woman smiled, "okay. I understand. I'm Mrs. Bruckman, just come down here and find me if you need any help."

"Okay, thank you."

"Here is your schedule my dear," Mrs. Bruckman handed me the paper with many teachers names that I didn't know.

My mom turned and wrapped her arms around me, "have a good day sweetie," She kissed me on the forehead and walked out the door.

"Like I said, just come see me if you need help. Were you here for the orientation?" Mrs. Bruckman asked.

"Yeah, I walked my schedule a few times, I think I got it. Thank you," I replied.

I began to walk out of the office and as soon as I stepped one foot out the door, someone ran into me.

"Sorry!" They shouted back.

"It's okay.." I whispered to myself.

The boy's accent rang through my ears. I could already tell this was going to be a rough day. When we had to go down the line in classes and say out names, I'd say mine and everyone would stare, and the teacher would ask me loads of questions about my old life, and I didn't want to answer any of them.

I walked to my first class and heard roars from around the room, watching people as the reunited with "friends" they hadn't seen all summer, and girls gossiping about summer "boyfriends." Boys casually sitting there just like it was any other day. We didn't have lockers yet so the room was full of lunch boxes, small back packs, pieces of paper, and pencils.

I sat down at a desk in the back corner of the room. The bell rang, and class started.

"Good morning. I'm Mrs. Volosin your English teacher for the year. I know it's the first day, but I have seats for everyone," Mrs. Volosin said

The class groaned and stood up. I didn't complain, I'd rather be forced to sit next to someone than be the girl in the back with no one. I stood up, picked up my things from the table, and stood waiting for my name to be called.

"Okay, quiet down," Mrs. Volosin began, "right here in the first seat is... Valerie Aldrin?" She asked with a question.

The class looked around the room, never hearing the name before. I slowly made my way through the group, not saying a word, and sat down in  my new seat.

Mrs. Volosin continued, "next is... Michael Clifford? You're right behind Valerie."

The boy walked straight out from the front of the group and sat right behind me. The teacher continued to place people in their new seats by alphabetical order. After she was done, she began to talk about herself.

"As you already know, I am Mrs. Volosin, I am from western Sydney, I have been married for ten years now, I have a three year old daughter, I've been teaching for twelve years, and I love to travel. If you have anything you'd like to know about me, you may ask them now," she laughed.

Someone raised their hand, a girl. She had long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and dark tan skin. "Yes," Mrs. Volosin started, "what's your name?"

"I'm Arial, and um, where have you traveled, or some of your favorite places you've traveled?" The girl said.

I dozed off into my thoughts. I thought about how my friends had already started school one month prior, and how they were getting ready to eat an a after school snack, while I was a day ahead, sitting in class. More people asked questions, Mrs. Volosin answered, which I ignored. Then there was a silence.

"Any other questions?" My thirty-eight year old teacher asked, "no? Okay, now I want to get to know you. So what we are going to do is... We are going to say our names-whatever you'd like to go by- your favorite hobby, and one big thing you did this summer. Let's start off with this lovely lady right here."

She directed towards me. The whole class turned and stared. I was horrified to speak.

"Uh," already a bad start, "my name is Valerie... I like to read, and in June I moved here with my mom and dad."

I heard the kid behind me chuckle with disbelief.

"Where are you from, Valerie? I mean it's kind of clear you're not from here," Mrs. Volosin laughed.

"I'm from Ohio, it's in the U.S." I said.

"Why did you move here?"

"My dad got a job transfer. He works for some big company that wanted and Australian headquarters so," I shrugged.

"But he's not in military right?"

"No, he just works for a big company."

"Where does he work?"

"I'm not really sure actually."

"Well, how do you like Sydney?"

"It's quite nice, actually."

"That's good. I hope you make lots of friends here," she smiled, "next?"

I took a deep breath. Thank god that was over. I knew exactly how that was going to go, and I was exactly right. I slumped in my chair and waited for the kid behind me to answer.

"I'm Michael, I like to play video games, and I didn't really do anything," the guys said.

"So you just sat at home all summer?" Mrs. Volosin asked,

"Pretty much," Michael said.

"Okay, next?"

"Damn I already hate this class," Michael said.

I turned around.

"That kinda sucks that you had to move here. I mean, I wouldn't want to live here, and I do. Where do you live? Like, from here?"

I just stared at him, "I live like fifteen minutes away."

Michael nodded, "that's cool. So, how do you really like it here?"

"I like it. I really do, I just don't know anyone."

"Oh, alright, sure, whatever. I'm Michael, I don't know if you got that but, ya know."

"I'm Valerie. Nice to meet you Michael," I smiled.

"Can I see your schedule?"

"Yeah, why?" I pulled out my schedule and gave it to Michael.

"We are in the same lunch, wanna sit with my friends and I? Ya know, since you don't really know anyone?"

"I'd love to," I took back my schedule and put it in my folder.

The rest of the day went pretty much the same. Michael came and found me at my locker.

"Hey, you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, where's the cafeteria?" I asked.

"The what?"

"The cafeteria? It's a place where you eat lunch?"

"That must be an American thing, we don't have those here."

"Well now I just feel stupid," we laughed.

Michael walked me to a place where I assumed his group of friends were sitting. I awkwardly walked in between people that I didn't know, with some guy that I met two hours ago. Michael sat down next to a very thin, black haired, and brown eyes boy. I, of course, sat next to Michael.

"Hey Calum," Michael said to the black haired guy.

"Hey Michael," Calum replied, "who's this?"

"This is Valerie. She's in my English class."

I smiled and waved, "hi."

"Hi," Calum said awkwardly.

After lunch I went to my next period class, and before I knew it I was in my last class.

"Hello, you guys have officially made it through your first day! I'm Mrs. Meyer, your study hall teacher, we don't really do much in this class obviously. This is just your time to get any work done that you didn't do. So I'm just going to do attendance and you guys can just hang out," Mrs. Meyer said.

She began going through our names, asking us if we went by anything else. When she was finally done, I just sat there quietly and read my book. Until someone sat next to me. I turned my head, I saw a skinny guy, with long blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. I swear he was one of the most beautiful people I'd ever seen. I'm not gonna lie, every guy I've talked to today has been pretty attractive.

"Hi," the beautiful blue eyed boy said.

"Hi," I smiled.

"I'm Luke, I didn't quite catch your name earlier."

"I'm Valerie, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. I saw you talking to Michael today."

"Yeah, do you know him?"

"Yeah, he's kind of a dick."

"Oh.. He seemed really cool."

"Yeah, kind of."

"Why don't you like him?"

"I don't know, we just hate each other."

"Oh.. That's nice."

"Yeah, I mean, you seem really cool. I'd love to like, hang out with you sometime, but.."

"I get it. I've been in the same situation. You seem really nice Luke. I would mind hanging out with you either," I smiled awkwardly,

"Not awkward at all..."

"Yeah," we laughed.

The period soon ended and I got to go home. It wasn't a bad day, I made some friends. But I was not looking forward to tomorrow.

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