If You Love Me Let Me Go

"Six months ago you did it... Six months ago, you ended your life.."


6. Chirpy

(Valerie's P.O.V.)

I rolled over to face the door.

"Come in," I called.

My mother's head peeped through the door.

"Hi, honey. I just wanted to let you know that dinner will be ready in about five minutes," she said softly, noticing my fragile state.

"Okay," I reply.

She gave me a soft smile, and closed the door.

I don't plan on eating. I don't want to eat that, not now. I also don't really have an appetite. I want to sit in this room, and lie on this bed for the rest of the night.

I look at my nightstand and the picture of Luke and I on holiday last year still stands tall. I wish I knew back then. I wish I knew that there was so much pain behind that smile. Yeah, I knew he had depression, he just wouldn't tell me how severe it was.

After about twenty minutes of dwelling over what I should have done, I decide to call Elle.

After about five rings, she answers.

"Hello?" She speaks.

"Hi," I say quietly.

"Hey, what's up?" Her voice is chirpy.

"Nothing much. I'm just lying on my bed, you know, the usual."

"Oh..." The chirpiness is gone.

"Yeah. I was just wondering if maybe you could come over tonight?"

"Val, tomorrow is a school day. You and I both know your mom wouldn't like it if I stayed."

Ever since Luke did it, my mom has been really protective over me.

"I know... But I'm sitting up here in my bed and I haven't been down since I came home. I feel like she might understand."

"I'll come over, I'm leaving now. I love you."

"Okay, you too."

I haven't said 'I love you' to anyone in god knows how long.

Forty-five minutes later, I hear a knock on the door downstairs. Moments later, I see Elle standing in my doorway. She closes the door and steps over to my bed.

"You said earlier on the phone that you went somewhere. Where did you go?" She asks.

"Ashton asked my to meet him at the creek today, and we hung out there for like an hour. Why?"

"No reason. What did you guys talk about?"

"Some promise he made to someone. He won't tell me who to, or what it was, or when. Then we just kind of talked about random stuff."

"Oh.. Normally after you hang out with Ashton you're a little more, peppy, I guess."

I make eye contact with her for the first time today, "what?"

"I don't know, he just makes you happier. You know, that is his job," she lightly laughs.

A faint smile cracks onto my lips and I shove her with my elbow, "you're an idiot."

"Shut the fuck up, I made you smile you bitch."

I roll my eyes, "I'm hungry as fuck."

"I take it you don't want the food your mom made?"

"No.." I drop my head.

"I'm sorry bby."

"Eh, I'm used to it."

"Wanna go get something? Or I could order a pizza."

"I kind of want to go somewhere," I shrug.



I put on my shoes and Elle and I left to go get Chinese, it wasn't a very eventful evening and I'm actually quite glad.

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