Why read this... Its only my life!

its my life, it sucks, and you get to read my moans, groans and rants


5. Rambling on...

Okay then, I feel like at this point if you've not buggered off somewhere else, you either like this book or a completionist (Note: I fall under both those categories,) so, shall we continue...

Public Transport. Yep, this old chestnut that at some point, every person will have something against. My personal grudge is against people on it and what they do while there. The best example of this is everyone's favourite gas-guzzling, never on time, slow as you like transport, the public bus!

Those who don't live in cities and have the luxury of trains and taxis you wave off from the kerb or those who are simply cash-strapped and forced to take a bus, and for me it's ruddy awful! You get on, pay whatever's necessary, get presumptuous nod off the driver and sit down, fine right? Yes, until others arrive. As you know I don't exactly like other people (see previous chapter,) and here you're forced to sit next to a complete randomer who probably ends up talking to you about the import price of Tibetan monk approved wine, or worse, popular culture! Not that I care, in this modern day and age earphones solve all of life's social problems, and with a few interjected mutterings of "yeah", "uh-huh" and "I know", life on a bus passes tolerably, for the most part...

But there's always those  same people, any of these familiar:- That one guy who's sweaty for no apparent reason; the parent hopelessly trying to hush a moaning toddler; the person who believes these things run quicker with the help of whistled folk tunes no one's ever heard of; the obnoxious teen and his litter he wishes to share with everyone and that one person who just sits there, listening to music that's far too loud... Hold on, that's me... Moving on!

That brings me to my next point, bus hygiene. That one teen and his litter is the main reason these things stink (that and the sweaty guy.) But the one that bugs me the most is the chewing gum, the fact that they think you can plonk it anywhere and get off after! Hers's my top three worst gum related incidents:

3) I was nearing my stop, so press the button to alight, as is normal procedure. I got up, the bus shuddered, and I grabbed the handrail, again normal procedure. Now, as you've probably guessed, I proceeded to put my hand onto the freshly chewed gum, and I spent my whole walk home scraping it off with a twig!

2) Similar premise to 3), but this time the gum was rather large, and served as a lovely adhesive for my foot and the bus floor, so I became stuck. This fact was then made worse by the fact that people were now queued behind me to get off, and the driver was now shooting me funny looks with the rest of the passengers, at which point I unhinged myself, fell, and then got the other kind of funny looks of everyone. Marvellous!

1) I was sat at the back of the bus (Like a badass,) due to the lack of seats, and I was almost happily getting on with my journey when i saw a drip. This was odd, as it was neither raining or a common feature of buses, so I looked up. There it was, the freshest piece of gum on the roof, the saliva  dripping off it like a hungry dog. Turns out, the obnoxious teen before me left it there from the last stop, and I even saw the little blighter en route, as he flashed me a grin the little...

Anyway, I hate it all. Enough said. 

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