So i went home Beau had dropped me off. We were talking on the way, before i reached my house we'd talked about past relationships even though i haven't been out with anyone ever we still talked about it. Beau made me feel happy about my self like the rest of them they'd just wanna see me smile everyday they said whenever i smile i light up the room and they love that feeling.
Beau: "So babe, you know what happened today don't let it effect you okay because i promise you, nothing like that will happen, you know what you're fucking gorgeous i don't know why that guy is talking smack but any guy would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend you know even me"
I pause . he realises i've stopped and comes back
Beau: "Did i say something wrong haha?"
I was speechless, the right words weren't coming out of my mouth.
Jamie: "Iiii you me no what ummm"
Beau: he scratches his head "Babe i'm being serious"
I think he's trying to hint something at me. Does he like me? no its Beau he can't? he's too skinny and even if we were to date i'd probably break his legs trying to sit on him ha.
Jamie: "We'll heres my house thanks for dropping me off Beau you're the greatest"
You kissed his cheek and he put his hand over it and started blushing you didn't know what to do, you smiled awkwardly and walked to the door, you waved at him.
Jamie: "Bye my baby boy see you tomorrow"
Even tough i've been smiling this whole time, i felt pain on the inside it was very bad. Tear started running down my eyes, i didn't know how to react. So i'd gotten the blade out i tried stopping my self but nope it didn't work i'd try thinking of the boys next door that didn't work. I cute 4 slits and watched the blood drip in pain.
Beau unexpectedly facetimed me. I didn't know what to do i accepted cleaned the blood of off my arms and wiped my tears.
Jamie: "Hi my darling whats up?"
Beah: "Heyya sweetie i just wanted to check up on you thats all. Have you been crying?" He said with anger
Jamie: "No" i stuttered and wiped my eyes "Its nothing i've just got hay fever"
Beau: "No you don't Jamie i've known you for so long you think i'm going to believe that, i can see the blood stains on your arm! wtf have you done to your self huh! i told you cutting is for cakes not for wrist! why did you do this if its over that stupid cunt!! i'm coming over i don't care"
Jamie: "No beau don't please i no i'm um"
He jumped onto my terrace and then into my window came and embraced me i cried on his chest as he kissed my forehead he held me tight like i'm never going to see him again. His hugs were so warm and tight i didn't want to let go. Beau looked at me and he started tearing up i cried with him he sat on my bed i sat next to him.
Beau: "Jamie why?why?why? did you do this to yourself, i told you you're a great person what possessed you to cut your self huh huh"
He stared at me with his red bloodshot eyes from crying. I got up off the bed and i looked him in the eyes and said.
Jamie: "I'm Sorry Beau I didn't mean for this to happen you know. I just did it because its relieving everything all my pain everything. Its wrong i know but what else can i do. You always tell me how anyone is lucky to have me, then how come i've never had a boyfriend,nones had a crush on me and I always get called fat on the sly huh Beau"
Beau: "Jamie seriously! you're fucking perfect you don't need to change for a silly boy, Me Jamie i've loved you for ages i just never show it i think you're to precious for me and i don't want to lose you ever. And you you're not at all fat, even if you were it wouldn't matter to me, its your personality that matters to me because i think you've been the best girl- friend i've ever had you're honestly the best. You can go ask the boys they will say the same thing as me."
I went to Beau held his hands while I looked down at my stomach and wiped my tears and smiled. Beau came closer pulled my chin to him and kissed me, a gentle kiss on the lips, he kissed my eyes to show and tell me never to cry again about stupid boys comments.
Jamie: "Beau honestly you and the boys are so different and i love that. I did all this for us, Beau i just love you and your personality and i love the others to to be honest i don't know what i'd do without you, maybe things would have been upside down and i would be right now, but you changed it you came into my life and everything was rightside up from today i will never cut again ever!"
All of the boys enter from the window and crowd and hugged me i felt there heartbeats it was amazing, i've never felt this much love in ages.
Daniel: "Jamie i heard everything. Don't do this again please because this hurts me a lot seeing you cry and cut i'd never expect that from you, you're always so happy and you're my ball of sunshine" he kisses my hand and smiles
Jamie: "Thank you Daniel you don't know how much you guys mean to me, i have no words you lot are my everything you know that?"
The boys: "We know" They laugh
Luke: "Babe you need to stop now and become my happy jamie like before alright and i heard you think you're fat are you kidding me, hahah babe no one is fat alright, you're perfect the way you are okay, everything about you i adore so don't you dare call yourself fat alright or watch" he messes up my hair and i start smiling like a maniac.
James: he adds on to what Luke says "Jamie you what, holy shite thats absolute bullshit, i agree with Luke you're perfect you know. I think you're a pretty special person you know to all of us mostly to Beau. I think you shouldn't give a shit what they think i think they are a bunch of idiots who has no good taste in women" James smiles and i sniffle and smile i hug James real right and tell him i love him.
Jamie: "James i think i may cry, you guys make me feel so special i just no words.i love the way you're so genuine and real, James you're an fudging amazing person you, you all know just what to say to me to make me smile like a fool" I laugh uncontrollably.
Jai appears and then the group was complete.
Jai: "What did i miss guys? hahah i'm just kidding come here you perfect muppet"
Jai pulled me into a hug i was surprised his arms had fit over my fat. i was surprised any of there arms could fit over it. I'm buried into Jai's chest smelt his aftershave it was really nice. They all came into a hug me in the middle and it just felt amazing.