I Tried

17 year old Lola Hemmings tries her best to handle this crazy journey she calls life. She has a lot of struggles though. Her brother Luke Hemmings and the 5SOS boys try their best to help. (Hope you guys enjoy!)


11. I've Been Good

It's been three weeks since Luke and I made our deal, and I've kept my half of the deal. It's been hard but I'm still here.

Twice a day a go on a jog, sometimes Calum comes with me.

Speaking of Calum, I felt so bad when I told him I hated him, but thank god he forgave. So it's not awkward between us.

But the thing with the voice is it's been bothering me a lot lately. It stopped for a little bit after I had that talk with Luke, but it started up again. It gets worse each day, especially today.

"Lola it's breakfast time!" Michael yells from the bottom of the staircase. "Okay I will be down in a minute!" I yell back.

As I walk out the door the voice says; After you have your stupid breakfast, you go puke it out little bitch! I notice you have been gaining a lot of weight these past few weeks! I just ignore it, go into the kitchen, sit down, and eat.

Right when I'm done eating I hear Ashton say; "Lola, the boys and I all have to go in today for a writing session."

"Okay" I reply.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Luke asks me.

"Yes, I'm not 5 I can watch over myself." I say.

All the boys come and give me a hug and off they go to the studio.

Now is your perfect timing! You can go make yourself puke! Your all alone! Go! "NO LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream at no one. I will not leave you alone until you do as your told, fatty! Now listen and go make yourself puke! It's for your own good! "FINE I GIVE UP!" I say as I walk to the bathroom and make myself puke.

That's good! Now go get your blade and cut yourself! "I-I can't! I made a deal with Luke, I'm terrible sister!" I cry.

That's exactly why you need to get your blade!

I go upstairs to find my blade box, remembering that the boys unpacked for me. So they must've thrown away or hid my blades somewhere. Fuck.

I rampage everywhere, starting with my room. When I can't find anything there, I go to Luke's room. I go through everyone's room and every bathroom. I can't find anything that would damage my skin! Those fuckers don't trust me!! I fucking hate them! Fuck!

Next thing I know I pull out my phone and I start to call Luke. "Hello." He answers. "LUKE YOU FUCKER! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BLADES? TELL ME NOW!" I scream into the phone. "Lola calm down. I threw them away." He says.

"YOU WHAT?? I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I scream to him. "Lola we are on our way." He says. I hang up on him. Fuck my life!

Go look in the kitchen for knifes dumb bitch! Hurry the fuck up!

I run down the stairs into the kitchen. I look everywhere in the kitchen and can't find one knife. Then I look in the sink and see a steak knife in there.

I wash it off and sit down on the floor. I start to cut hella deep, it's bleeding really bad. Yes!

Ahh yes! Now what you got to do is cut your vein!

I'm hesitant for a minute, but then I hear footsteps coming near the kitchen. So I do I cut my vein. "LOLA" I hear Luke say before I blackout.

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