Today is the first day of school. Ew. Luke is picking me up at around 7 so we can be early on the first day. I got up and took a quick shower, meticulously did my hair and makeup, got dressed, picked up Frolic, and headed downstairs. My parents were sitting at the kitchen table drinking their morning coffee talking about whatever. I greeted them, got myself a cup of coffee, and headed into the living room. Both of my parents left for work but said that they had something important to tell me when they got home. We have lived in Australia for almost 4 months and I love it here. I look down at my necklace that Luke gave me for our 1 month anniversary. It was a little heart pendent that had a L and a N engraved into it. I smiled and played with Frolic for a little while. Luke walked through the door and Frolic ran over greeting him. I gave him a kiss and put Frolic in her cage. We started our walk to school with our hands intertwined. We met up with Calum and we all walked in together to the start of our senior year. I either had Luke or Cal in all of my classes so that was good. I didn't know anybody else so I was glad that they were there. I met a really nice girl who's locker was right next to mine. Her name was Ashlyn and she had blonde hair and blue eyes.
She was really pretty. She even sat with us at lunch. She is kind if shy but I think she will fit in well with the group. When school let out, we all walked home together. Cal and Ash had to leave so that left Luke and I. We cuddled on the couch until Luke got a call making him head into the studio. Apparently it was urgent. I gave him a kiss and he was out the door.
Luke came back over to my house about an hour later with a shocked look on his face.
"Hey babe! What's up?" I asked him while giving him a kiss on his cheek.
"W-we are going on tour," I was shocked. I was proud of them but I didn't want Luke to leave.
"Im so happy for you guys!" I lied hugging him. "How long will you be gone for?" I said hoping that it wouldn't be too too long.
"Uh 4 months....."
I just stood there, paralyzed. I can't live without him for 4 whole months. I will have to go to school without him and Calum by my side. I just can't do this. I can't do this without him. I guess I didn't answer for a while because Luke started shaking me.
"Nat say something please,"
"4 months Luke. How do you expect me to live without you for 4 months!" I said with tears running down my cheeks.
"When do you leave?" I asked hoping that we would have enough time together.
Those 2 words basically ruined my whole life. I feel like my world is crashing down around me and there is nothing I can do about it. I backed up to the wall, sat on the floor, and sobbed into my hands. I didn't dare look at Luke because it would make me cry even harder. After a few minutes, I felt him pick me up and bring me into my room. I was too tired to even protest. Crying takes a lot out of you. I fell asleep crying into Luke's chest.
The next week went by way too fast. I cried myself to sleep every night. I had a lot of thinking to do as well. If I stay with Luke, then I have a very big possibility that he will meet a prettier, smarter, easier girl and will hook up with her. I could get my heart broken. Or I could break up with him and be miserable for 4 months until he comes back. Either way I am screwed. I need to make up my mind by the time I say good-bye at the airport. Luke and I woke up this morning and I started crying.
"Hey don't cry. We will see each other again. We will be okay," he said wiping my tears away with his thumb. I got up and took a shower, got dressed, threw my hair in a ponytail, and put Frolic on her leash. We drove to the airport and met the other boys there. They all ha tear stained faces as did their families. I said bye to all of the other boys and I basically sobbed when I said good-bye to Mikey. After Luke said his good-byes to his family, he turned to me and kissed me. I had tears running down my face thinking that this will be the last time for a while that I can kiss his soft lips.
"Listen Luke, while you are gone, I know that you are going to meet girls who are much prettier and much more willing than I am and I don't want to hold you back from anything in your life. I think we should break up. If you come home and still wanna be with me I will be here with open arms because I love you Lucas Hemmings," I said crying. He was basically sobbing.
"No! No! Nat there is never anyone that can be prettier than you! I love you and only you! You are all I want. You are all I think about. I can't live without you. Please don't do this," he begged. I kissed him.
"I have to," tears were freely running down my cheeks and my heart was broken. I can't believe I am doing this. Ashton spoke up.
"Luke mate, we gotta go our fight is boarding," he said sadly. I looked up at Luke and gave him a sad smile.
"I will be here waiting for you," I said crying. I kissed him again and he walked off. Michael put his arms around Luke and Luke sobbed into his shoulder. I did that. I can't believe it. Ashlyn was there saying goodbye to Calum because they are dating now and I turned around and hugged her, crying into her shoulder. When we released, I hugged onto my puppy and Ashlyn drove me home.
I can't believe it. She broke up with me and it is all because of this fucking tour. I sat down on the plane by myself and I cried all the way there. I don't know what I am going to do without her. She is my world. She is my life. I love her. She loves me. She is my everything. It is going to be the worst 4 months of my life.
When we got to the hotel, I went into my room and close to door. I don't want to talk to anybody not even the boys. I fell asleep crying listening to the boys banging on the door telling me to open it. They are probably really worried. My life is horrible. I wish that this was all just a horrible dream and that I would wake up and have Natalie in my arms. But I have to face reality. She won't be there.