Ramdom stories

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5. Random story 3: The Warped Blade

Sarah Snozcumber was thinking about Christiana Parker again. Christiana was an understanding do gooder with spiky fingers and skinny toes.

Sarah walked over to the window and reflected on her industrial surroundings. She had always loved grand Skegness with its vacant, valid volcanoes. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel shocked.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an understanding figure of Christiana Parker.

Sarah gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a helpful, lovable, beer drinker with pointy fingers and charming toes. Her friends saw her as an annoying, ashamed academic. Once, she had even saved a deadly deaf person that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a helpful person who had once saved a deadly deaf person that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Christiana had in store today.

The drizzle rained like cooking giraffes, making Sarah barmy. Sarah grabbed a warped blade that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Sarah stepped outside and Christiana came closer, she could see the whispering smile on her face.

"Look Sarah," growled Christiana, with a courageous glare that reminded Sarah of understanding frogs. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want love. You owe me 2616 euros."

Sarah looked back, even more barmy and still fingering the warped blade. "Christiana, d'oh," she replied.

They looked at each other with concerned feelings, like two ripe, robust rats shouting at a very remarkable dinner party, which had jazz music playing in the background and two hopeful uncles drinking to the beat.

Sarah studied Christiana's spiky fingers and skinny toes. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Sarah. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Christiana. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Sarah. "Now get your spiky fingers out of here before I hit you with this warped blade."

Christiana looked ambivalent, her wallet raw like a tan, talented torch.

Sarah could actually hear Christiana's wallet shatter into 2616 pieces. Then the understanding do gooder hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of beer would calm Sarah's nerves tonight.


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