2. so many questions but not enough answers
Oh god what am I going to do with my life? I honestly hate myself. Why do I have to be gay?!
Oh yeh I didn't mention that did I? I'm gay and I'm in love with my best friend, Ashton Irwin.
Fuck my life
I don't understand why I have to be gay though? Why couldn't I just be in love with a girl and we could get married and start a family but no. I have to be in love with a boy that couldn't ever possibly love me back. This is fucked.
"Hey Luke" I heard Calum's voice snap me out of my day dream phase
"Hi" I replied back weakly
"Are you ok?" He asked, concern written all over his face
"Yeh, just peachy" I muttered
He nodded understandingly. Calum was the only one that new about my little infatuation with Ashton. At first he thought it was just a phase and just a little crush and that I would get over it but as months passed and I still had this 'crush' he came to the conclusion that I was in love with our band mate. Calum thinks it's cute, I just laugh at him though. It's not cute that I am in love with a straight guy, my band mate, my best friend and to top it off Ashton Fletcher Irwin will never ever love me back. Calum wants to tell Michael so they can create a plan to get us together or some shit like that I don't even know but what ever it is it won't work. Because Ashton couldn't possibly like me. Me of all people. Because I'm just Luke Hemmings. I'm nothing special. But Ashton is perfect, he has the most adorable smile, perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect voice, all in all he is just perfect.
*sigh* my life sucks honestly. I'm in love with some one. I can't tell you who but I can tell you that it's wrong who I'm in love with. This love is wrong, all my life I have been brought up around people that say same sex relationships are wrong so why can't I just stop loving this person. You've probably figured it out that it's a boy by now. Duh. But I can't help it. It's not my fault that I'm in love with my best friend and band mate. This isn't fair, but then again when is life ever fair?! It never has been and it never will be. And this honestly isn't helping.