I really don't know what to do right now. Ok, so last night we all went out to the movies, right?
The whole night, Calum had his arm around Luke and Luke was all snuggled up under his arm. I don't know wether to feel super jealous or super upset.
Then, after the movies, we all went out the cinema and just stood around and talked for a while. Next minute, Luke has jumped on Calum so he has his legs wrapped around Calum's waist and his arms around his neck, plus Calum had a freeking SnapBack on and there was some dumb pap behind us so they took a flipping photo and posted it online.
Just this morning, I found the photo everywhere, it was all over the internet. And you wanna know why this photo irritates the flaming fuck out of me?! Because the stupid pap took the photo at the wrong fucking time so it looks like they were fucking snogging!!! And because of Calum's fricking SnapBack half of Luke's face was cut off so you couldn't see if they were really kissing or not.
Now #CAKE is trending worldwide.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Ok so there's this weird ass photo all over the internet of me and Calum 'kissing', but like, what the fuck, I love Ashton not Calum.
I mean, I love Calum, but just not like that. Especially not like I love Ashton.
I'm kinda worried, Ashton has been quiet all morning. He won't talk to me, and he's being really snappy with Calum. I don't get it.
He will really only talk to Michael. But even then he only says few words at a time, never full sentences.
I'm gonna go talk to him. He stormed off to his room 5 minutes ago when Calum asked if he wanted anything to eat. Yeh, it's that bad.
"Go away" I mumble, my face buried in my pillow. Obviously they didn't hear me cos they knocked again.
Sigh. I lift my head up and manage out a small "it's open"
The person walks in and I don't even bother to see who it is before I plonk my face back in my pillow.
"Hey Ash" the person says "are you ok?"
Luke sits down next to me on the bed, I still don't look up though.
"Ashtonnnnnn" he drags my name out "answer meeee"
"No" I mutter
"C'mon" he shakes my shoulder "baaby"
What?! Baby?! Holy fucking Jesus I'm gonna cry.
"Uuhhh, no I ment Ash- uh yeh, I ment um Ashyyy" he drags 'Ashy' out awkwardly, he voice crackling a bit.
I feel my face fall.
"Oh. Oh ok" I look down
"Um yeh, so you know, uh" he jumbled his words about, not making sense
"Yeh?" I question
"Uh- what's wrong?" He comes straight out and says it
I freeze and don't reply. It feels like we sit there for hours but it was only at least a minute or 2. And it was awkward. My eyes looked everywhere but at him.
"Ashton answer me" he says
I just sigh and sit back, leaning my back on the wall.
"I can't tell you" I tell him "you'd hate me forever, you would kick me out of the band, replace me, find a new drummer. You would vomit at the sight of me" I spit out and turn my head towards the wall and just stare at it.
"Ashton why the hell would you ever think that?!" He gives me a look of disbelief "no matter what it is that you aren't telling me, I could never hate you-!" He mumbles some ing afterwards but I don't quite catch it.
"I can't tell you" He says softly "you'd hate me forever, you would kick me out of the band, replace me, find a new drummer. You would vomit at the sight of me" he spits out and turns his head towards the wall and just stares at it.
"Ashton why the hell would you ever think that?!" I give him a look of complete and utter disbelief "no matter what it is that you aren't telling me, I could never hate you... I love you" I mumble the last part quietly and it seems like he didn't catch it.
"Ashton why can't you see that you're perfect! You are so amazing at everything you do. You play the drums like a god, you sing like a fucking angel, and when you speak, you send tingles down my spine. I love you so fucking much"
Yeh, I wish I could've said that. But no. Instead...
"Ashton please listen to me, we could never replace you and we certainly never could find a better drummer than you. We have been best friends for a very long time and I would miss you to much" wow, I pretty much just friend zoned him. Oh my god what's wrong with me, why can't I just tell him I love him?!
"Ok, whatever" he rolls his eyes "can you just leave me alone for a little while? I gotta do something"
"Um uh yeh ok" I stutter nervously
I seriously need to. Get. A. Grip.
We were all sitting around in the lounge room, doing nothing, listening to music and watching movies when the phone rang.
I got up to answer it.
"Hello?" I picked up the phone
"Hi" I heard a voice on the other end. The voice was familiar couldn't quite pin point who it was. "Is this Luke?"
"Aaah yeh" who the hell is this? "Speaking"
"Ah good I called the right number, Michael didn't get it wrong" the person on the other line chuckles "hey Luke it's Louis"
Ohhh, now I know who that voice belongs to!
"Ohhh haha hey Louis, thought you sounded familiar" I chuckle lightly
"Wow, you didn't even know it was me! I'm offended!" He gasps and then giggles.
"Aw I'm sorry! I love you!!" I joke
"Aaaaw I love you to baby" he jokes back
"Aaw stop it! Your making me blush"
"No you stop it"
We keep mucking around and acting like a corny high school couple, and I'm pretty sure he's forgotten what he originally called for in the first place.
"So anyways, Louis, what can I do for you?"
"Well actually I have some big news for you......"
What the hell?! Who the fuck is Luke on the phone to?!
All I can hear is shit like "aaaaw I love you to baby" and "no stop it, you making me blush"
Like, eww, vomit.
I knew Luke didn't like me. He's already found himself a girlfriend.
That word disgusts me. Gross. Girlfriend. ill, it's disgusting.
That's it I can't take anymore of this. I got up and stormed upstairs and slammed my bedroom door.
I went into my ensuite.
Well then, if Luke can get a girlfriend then I can get a new friend. Or maybe, I can just get out a little old friend...
Ah, there you are.