WE'RE ON BREAK NOW YAY! (: I know this is a late update sorry ): BUT- I'm here now, so please enjoy (;
It's been 2months and 21days, the boys are gone for 1more week.
I graduated school, about 2weeks ago with high honors. I worked hard to graduate in Junior year, but I'm glad I did. I mean with nothing to do anymore I just picked up on school and I'm finally not required to go back.
I applied to colleges last year and I was told they would think about it, but it's been a year and I don't wanna go anymore anyways.
I spend most of my days by the window in my room. Just looking outside and staring.
It's funny, nature, how it seems like the same every 4seasons, but yet it changes everyday.
Every thing changes. Nothings steady...ever.
It seems like I waste my days now. I catch up on modern music to drown my thoughts and sit and stare out my window.
My mom hasn't been home in a while...she said she's expecting to be gone for a year...a whole year, of being alone.
All alone. What's new? I thought.
Today I actually had the courage to stand up and walk out of my room and down the stairs.
The whole first floor seeming like a place I've never recognized before.
I went into the kitchen and took the bottle of water.
I went to sit on the couch and checked my phone.
'Miss ya Y/n, thinking of you always bestie<3'-Ashton Irwin *instagram*
Wow, thanks Ash, haven't talked to you in 2months so instead of calling, thanks for tagging me in a post. I thought to myself.
I went on his page and saw a picture of all the boys in a hotel making silly faces. 3people tagged.
I saw that Luke was tagged and I decided to go to his page.
*bio* 'Hey guys, we love our fans so much, thank you all for everything, we wouldn't be where we are now if it wasn't for you!-Luke xx'
I looked through his instagram and almost in all his pictures he was happy or on his phone.
He looked a little different now. Taller? No. Lipring? No, he's had that since freshman year...right? I don't even remember anymore. I finally got it... He's not mine...That's what's different. He didn't love me anymore. We were further apart then we've ever been.
I still have nightmares of the day we had to say good-bye with Joy's voice scarring the walls of my head 'let go.'
I couldn't, even though I should...He probably has.
I have every single one of their posters and I've heard most of their songs.
I got a ding on my phone.
Someone I don't know tagged me in a '5sos' video.
I opened it and it led to a youtube link.
"Where Ever You Are?" I whispered to myself. I pressed play.
"For a while we pretended, That we never had to end it, But we knew we'd have to say goodbye, You were crying at the airport, When they finally closed the plane door, I could barely hold it all inside, Torn in two, And I know I shouldn't tell you, But I just can't stop thinking of youuu, Where ever you are, Youuu, Where ever you are, Every night I almost call you, Just to say it always will be youuuu, Where ever you are, I could fly a thousand oceans, But there's nothing that compares to what we had, And so I'll walk alone, I wish I didn't have to be gone, Maybe you've already moved on, But the truth is I don't want to know, Torn in two, And I know I shouldn't say this, But I just can't stop thinking of youuu, Where ever you are, Youuu, Where ever you are-"
I felt a tear roll down my face as I pressed pause.
I turned off my phone and ran upstairs with it and slammed my door shut.
I plugged up my phone to charge as I took my regular seat by the window.
I just want him again...Just for him to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay, and that we'll last forever.
But that's not true.
We clouded our judgment as we fell in love and suffered as we had to break apart.
That was the worst day of my life...Ever.
The day I realized I was capable of loving, he was taken away from me.
I just wanted him back.
I would've cried, if I hadn't already been all out of tears to cry.
The boys didn't text me, only Ash, occasionally, to tell me where they're going or if something exciting happened.
I, of course, was happy for them, but hated the world for taking them away from me for 3months.
It was selfish to want them back so bad, but I don't care anymore. I need them.
I'm nothing without them.
People forget to tell you love sucks. They forget to tell you it all comes crashing down on you to where you can barely breathe or stand. They forget the bad parts, the most important and painful parts.
I only have to wait 1more week, but I feel like I die slowly everyday. Just slowly withering away from existence.
*ring ring ring*
My phone rang and I got up slowly walking to it.
"Yes?" I mumbled.
"Y/n, it's your mother, I got you a gift and the mailman said he's there so go get it from the porch." My moms soft voice said.
"What is it?" I asked going down the stairs.
"It's a surprise, I love you baby, have fun." She said sweetly and hung up.
Have fun? where? I opened the door confused and saw an envelope on the place mat.
I grabbed it, shut the door and slowly ripped the envelope open.
I grabbed what was inside, it felt like money, but a little thicker.
I looked at it more closely, forgetting the envelope on the floor.
I read and re-read and re-re-read over and over again....It was a ticket. To...
'5seconds of summer last show of tour!--row:1 seat:center stage outlook and Backstage pass!'
I looked at the ticket as I froze...
That's all for tonight, I know it's short, sorry ): But I'll update when I can (: Thankyou for reading so far<3 Love y'all