Double update! Yay!
So you guys are the best for reading and I'd like to know what you guys think and what you want to happen, so thanks! Enjoy :) and I promise I'll update again soon bc I'm kind of leaving it off abruptly, so I apologize ahead of time :D
The horrible sound of my alarm went off. I knew if I didn't set one, I'd definitely be late for the date that I planned.
I get up and put on a pair of jean shorts with a peach and navy striped loose tank top. I strap on my brown sandals and grab the supplies I need.
"Bye!" I yell, then hop into my car and head to Spencer's house.
When he opens his door, he kisses me. Normally, I fill up with this weird joy. Today, nothing. I felt nothing and that made me nervous.
I pulled away and dragged him I to my car as he asked, "What're we doing today?"
We both get into the car before I say,"Oh, you'll see."
"Why?" He fake pouts.
I press my lips to his cheek and whisper, "Because it's a surprise."
Before he could say anything else, I start the car and we drive to our first destination, jamming to the music on our way.
Our town is cool. You can get to a beach by driving half an hour, or you can get to a city by driving half an hour. But where I live, it's just a cute town. That's why I love this place so much, you get to live every lifestyle.
We arrive at our first destination: a meadow.
I run out, while he jogs to catch up to me. By the look on his face, he was really confused as to why we were here.
Finally I stop and turn to face him. I show him my Polaroid and Nikon cameras. I always had a nag for photography.
"I want to remember the time we shared because frankly, we don't know if we're going to last forever, but I do know one thing... I want to remember you."
He smiled, a smile I loved and picked me up by the waist. Our lips met and we stood there, embracing one another.
I pulled away then and stared into his eyes. They're nothing extraordinary, just brown. But they did hold something that most didn't have. They held emotion. His eyes showed kindness, care, love.
"I love you," he murmured to me. I just smiled in return. I couldn't bring myself to say it back, knowing that it might not be true. If there's one thing I can't do, it's lying. I was never able to tell a lie, and I still don't have the guts to today. That's why I just smiled, a heartfelt smile, as if it said I love you too.
If I really thought about it, I did love him, just not in the way I thought I did. I really didn't want to face that fact, but I couldn't deny the truth.
We took photos of us together at this meadow. He took me here for a picnic on our first date. That's why I chose this as our first destination to take pictures at.
After a while, I dragged him into the car and we moved on to the next place.
The sun was still shining as we drove, so I put down the windows. As the car ride went on, the air started to get the smell of salt. You could hear seagulls in the distance and the crashing of waves was faint, but you could still hear it.
I pulled into a parking lot across from the beach and rushed out to the sand, pulling Spencer along.
Again, we took numerous photos of each other and both of us together, as well as the scenery. The sun started to go down a bit as we went to the board walk to get ice cream.
Hand in hand, we strolled the board walk, enjoying our ice cream and each other's company.
"What do you like about me?" Spencer asked after some time of silence.
I laughed slightly. "What do I like about you? Well..."
I like that you understand me.
I like that you can make me laugh.
I like your smile.
I like the emotion in your eyes.
I like you.
I noticed the like. I like you. It wasn't I love you. Freaking Ashton had to come and make my life complicated.
"Well," I continued. "I like that you understand me and I like your smile. I don't know if anyone's told you this but looking into your eyes is like looking into your feelings, when I look into your eyes I see all these emotions and it's beautiful."
Spencer just looked at me and smiled before leaning in and kissing me. They were soft and felt good against mine.
There was still nothing there though. No sparks, no nothing.
"Where are we going next?" Spencer questioned after a bit.
"I saved the best for last. It needs to be seen at night to see its true beauty."
We arrived at the city. Millions of cars lined the roads, skyscrapers and buildings filled the area. People rushed around, all trying to get somewhere different. Some people love the beach, others love the country. Me? I love the city.
Just like our other two places, we took photos, but unlike the other places, we didn't stop and enjoy the scene.
Once the cameras were put away, Spencer spoke up. "Hey, um, Rosie... I don't really care for the city and I'm getting kinda tired... Is it okay if we head home?"
Yeah sure, Spencer, I plan this whole freaking date, I put my whole heart into it, I tried to make it out of the ordinary and special and you just say that?! Yeah, I was offended and I don't lie. So instead of just telling him okay we can go, I say sarcastically, "It's great to know how much you enjoyed tonight. I'm glad I spent time thinking of this whole date trying to make it something special. Sure, we can go home because you're tired at 8:00 and hate the city, it's great to know that you're such a gentleman that you don't even think of your girlfriend."
His face kind of dropped, clearly feeling bad about what he said. I might've been overreacting, but I really didn't care.
"I-I'm so sorry Rosie. I didn't even think of that, really."
I just turned around. I knew I was going to cry. Then I handed him some money.
"Take a taxi home." I say, then I turned and ran back to my car.
To think that I put my all into this. I definitely knew that I wasn't totally in love with him, I could feel it fading. Even before meeting Ashton, things weren't the same as when we first met, I was just to blind to see that I really didn't love him.
I guess once I met Ashton, that's when I saw that I didn't really like Spencer, I just thought I did. Now here I am, trying to prove to myself that I do love him. The tears were streaming down my face now.
I honestly didn't know why this hurt so bad because I know I don't love him. But it did hurt. It felt like I was punched in the stomach, got the wind knocked put of me.
He's such a selfish jerk.
I got home and ran upstairs, ignoring the greetings from my family. Normally in a time like this, I'd need to talk to Elle, but I don't want to talk, I just wanted to cry. So that's what I did. I slammed my door and fell onto my bed and cried.
I don't know how long I was there, but it was long enough for each one of my family members to knock on my door to see if I was okay. I ignored every single one until my heart dropped at the voice that came from outside the door.
"Hey Rose, please let me in." It was Jack. My brother who has ignored me for years. Although I did just want him to leave and I so dearly wanted to be mad at him for abandoning me, I couldn't be angry. And, surprisingly, I really did want to talk to him.
"Come in," I say through tears.
Cautiously, he steps in and sits on my bed, wrapping an arm around me.
"I'm sorry," he says.