Finally updating! Yay! Things are going to get interesting now, I promise. Do you guys want me to write about Rosie's and Ash's date or just skip it? Pleaseeee let me know cuz idk what to do! You guys are the best for reading and if you're still reading thanks for keeping with me! It means the world! (Oh and I promise that the plot will start moving along, like I said things are getting better!)
*Two days later*
Rosie giggles, yet again, at her phone. She's been amazing at helping me keep my mind off him. I'm actually eating again and feeling pretty good as long as I'm doing something. At least this is what Rosie sees.
Since she's basically been here 24/7, we've caught up on everything that's happened. From Spencer and Jack, to what I saw Luke do.
Now we both are on our phones and Rosie lets out another chuckle. Ever since I've been feeling a little better, she's been staring at her phone with a smile on her face. I know it's Ashton and I'm honestly happy for her, but it's hard to hear her so happy over a boy when just the thought of Luke still brings me to tears.
"Hey, uh, Elle," Rosie starts. "Would you mind if I went on a date with Ash tonight?"
I smile goofily. "Finally! I've been through enough torture!"
"Hey!" She mocks offended. In response, I just stick my tongue out at her.
Both of us get off the couch and Rosie heads to my shower. I trudge into my room and collapse onto my bed, a tear streaming down my face. I've wasted everyone's time on my own problems and it's adding another weight to me, on top of Luke.
I act like I'm okay and it's pretty believable. I mean, Rosie, my best friend, can't tell that this is all a big act.
Truth is, I'm still dying on the inside. My heart physically aches and I'm not really eating. I'll have a few bites while Rosie's watching and then throw the majority away.
I'm frustrated because this isn't like me. I've never let break ups get to me this much and I've most certainly haven't let anything effect my health like it is now. In just these few days I've gotten skinner and I can feel the lack of sleep.
My skin feels like it's hanging from my bones and I feel weak. I absolutely hate this. Actually, I hate Luke, who started this. But it's hard, because I also love him.
After laying down for about 5 minutes, I get off my bed and force myself to get it back together and look as happy as possible. Wiping one last tear from my eye, I go to my closet and find a nice dress for Rosie to wear.
My hands find an Aztec print dress that reaches mid thigh and comes in at the waist. While in my closet, I grab a pair of sandals and a matching clutch.
Then, Rosie comes into the room and I walk out to grab a drink, hoping to buy more time for it to look like I haven't been crying. My eyes star blankly around as I sit and wait at the kitchen counter for Rosie to come out.
"I'm going with a natural color for makeup and should I just leave my hair down?" Rosie comes gliding out if my room looking perfect compared to how I've been dressing lately.
"Hair down," I say in a monotone voice. But, then I smile, a forced smile, hoping to look okay.
She nods and says goodbye. I fall on the couch, alone in my apartment. Tears are rolling down my face and my heart swells with a growing pain.
I just sit there like that. I'm a depressed mess.
"Hey, do you mind if we have a talk with you Cal and Mikey before we go out? It's important," I say through the phone.
"I was thinking the same thing." Gosh I love his voice.
"Can you, uh, pick me up? I'm at Elle's and I don't have my car."
His beautiful laugh rings through the line. "I'm already outside."
"Okay," I smiled. "I'm heading out now."
I walk out of the elevator with the goofiest smile on my face. It's been two days since he asked me out and we're finally going on our first date... Well, after we have our meeting with everyone.
Ashton looks up from his phone and smiles at me. His green eyes sparkle and wow, he looks good. He's wearing a joy division muscle shirt with dark jeans and black shoes.
"Hello, my beautiful date," he says while grabbing my hand. I blush and together we head to his car and arrive at his house.
The conversation was light until we walked into his flat. A serious mood hung in the air. I sat down on the couch next to Ashton while Michael and Calum sat on the floor in front of us.
No one said anything and there was an awkward silence. As well as being nervous about my date, I also felt kind of uncomfortable at the moment. Normally with the boys I feel like I'm with my siblings, but now I just feel sorta worried.
I decide to break the silence, tired of no one speaking. "Elle's doing horrible," I whisper. "She's acting like she's fine and she thinks I don't notice, but I do." My chest feels tight and I can't take deep breaths. "Guys, she's not just still crying. It's so much worse. Elle's depressed and she's not sleeping at all. There's huge bags under her eyes and she's lost so much weight this week. She's not eating. Nothing! I'll make her something and she takes half a bite if anything at all. And that's it! She's starving herself and she's depressed." I stop, trying my best not to cry. A humorless laugh escapes my lips.
Ashton's arm wraps around me and Michael nuzzles his face into his knees. Calum takes a pillow and punches it, then storms outside, slamming the door.
I jump, my heart beating rapidly because of my worry for Elle. "I'm scared," I whimper.
Ash kisses my forehead and pulls me into him. "We'll figure something out. Everything will be okay."
Somehow hearing this from him calms me down a bit. And although I'm trying my hardest not to, a tear slips out of my eye and I totally loose it. I sit there crying into Ashton's arms.
Some time passes and I let out all of my frustration and stress in my tears. I've been trying my best to stay positive and help Elle, but my hope is fading and it's killing me.
Calum finally comes back and I stop crying and we're back to the same positions in this living room.
"Why?" Calum croaks. "Why did they have to meet and why does this have to happen?"
Michael hasn't done anything but stare out at nothing. He looks stunned.
"And I thought Luke was taking it bad," Cal rambles. "He's been in his bed for these past two days, but he'll still eat something."
I breath shakey breaths as I lean into Ashton for comfort. "I don't know what to do," I mumble. We all sit without words for a bit, but this time it's not uncomfortable or awkward, it's actually comforting in a way.
The silence wraps around me like a blanket, keeping me safe from my thoughts. My mind is blank, not thinking, too overwhelmed to wander. It's nice, escaping my head for a bit in this silence.
"Can I go see him?" My voice is quiet, drained from the previous events.
"Knock yourself out," Cal says back. Michael left a bit ago. He just left and drove away. Ashton says he does this when he's mad and Calum just kind of has an angry edge to him now.
I hop up the stairs and knock on Luke's door before stepping in. His room's messy, but clean enough that I can easily get around. At first, i don't even see him, but then I see the mound of sheets on the bed moving up and down like it's breathing.
"Hi," I say. There's no response. "Can I talk to you?"
"If you're here to lecture me, get out." His voice is muffled, due to his face being covered in sheets.
"I just want to talk," I choke out. I sit at the foot of his bed, next to his feet, faced away from his head. "Can I ask a question?"
There's a rustle in the sheets and a small movement, which I'm taking as a yes. "Why did you cheat on her?" My voice is a whisper.
And all of a sudden, Luke's voice comes out fairly loud. "Why would I fucking cheat on her? I fucking love her!"
I'm shaken by his outburst and meekly say, "That's what started this. She saw you with another girl."
"I haven't been with another girl though," he says defensively.
"Well that's obviously what she saw and if you really cared about her, wouldn't you be there right now, trying to help her? You think you have it bad?" My voice is slowly rising as I speak and I feel tears prick my eyes.
Luke stays silent.
"She doesn't sleep, and it clearly shows. She acts like she's fine because that's the selfless person she is, but inside she's physically and mentally dying. Whenever I go to the bathroom or shower, she starts crying about you, thinking that I can't hear her and she makes sure that by the time I get back, she's not crying and looks okay. She's depressed and she hasn't eaten in almost a week! She's starving herself! I cook for her and make sure that she can eat anything but she won't eat it. She'll claim she's full, although she hasn't ate or she'll take it and won't eat! She's hurting herself and won't accept help! If it stays like this, I'm taking her to a doctor if I can get her to one, but like I said she refuses help and says she's fine. I'm stressed! It makes me sick to think of what she's going through!"
By the time I finish, I'm crying again and Luke's next to me with an arm around my shoulder. A few tears are streaming down his cheeks. "You're right," Luke says, breaking the quiet. "I've been a jerk and I didn't know that things have gotten so bad. I'm going to fix this."
Determination crept into his voice the longer he spoke. A gentle smile flew up to my face. As long as they figure things out, Elle will be okay. I breath out a sigh of relief, happy that I got all of this off my chest. "Thank you," I mumble before walking down the stairs and back out to Ashton. "I believe there's a date calling our name."
I checked and fixed my makeup by taking most of it off, oh well. Then, we get into his car and head off to wherever Ash planned to go.