Outcast || n.h

"That boy is trouble, Emma. I want you to stay away from him"

"He isnt trouble, he's just lonely!"

"He isn't what you think at all Emma"

And he was right.

Copyright © 2014 ziamsparkle.


4. 0.3 | closer and closer

okaii ive update for yuh guys like i pwamised (◠ω◠✿)


on with da chapter (☞゚∀゚)☞

edited✾ yaay xc


✩emma's pov✩

It's been 2 weeks since i met Niall. Throughout these past weeks, we have occasionally bumped into each other in the hall way's or ran into one another at the shops, but we haven't said anything. Obviously he hasn't spoke at all, but i was ignoring him because i was mad at his outburst in the coffee shop.

I was hurt when he called me a nosy bitch. It really got to me for some reason, i don't know why. Ive been called a bitch so many times before, but when Niall said it, it hurt even more.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about him either. I know I'm just being stupid by ignoring him, when it wasn't anything major, but i only wanted to know him. And right now, i want to help him. Get him out of this 'Outcast' phase. But in order to do that, i need to know why he thinks he is an Outcast. Why he thinks so little of himself but i doubt he will tell me. Maybe this time if i ask him, he will throw the coffee at me.

I realised that i was pushing him a little into telling me why he didn't speak, and that i should probably be blaming myself for our fall out, but the only real reason i was mad at him for calling me a nosy bitch is he knows little about me, and was supposed to be my friend.

I guess i still am his friend.

Should i go over and apologise? After all, he did apologise to me and i do owe him one.

Yeah, ill just go over, apologise and we can go back to..friends, acquaintances? I don't know.

Satisfied with the idea, i didn't bother to put shoes on, so i stood up from the sofa, and head out to Louis'.

Oh, and Louis has become a really close friend to me over these past weeks. We have been hanging out a lot and he is really sweet.

I think it's safe to say that we're friends now.

He also introduced me to his girlfriend, Eleanor. She has also become a good friend of mine. She asked me about the shops here, if they had New Look and where the local supermarket is and even said she'd buy me some stuff. She's really nice.

I knocked on the door, stuffing my hands into my black, zip up hoodie pockets, and waiting patiently.

I didn't have to wait long, as the door swung open not long after, revealing a not so good looking Niall.

His face paled once he saw me, and he quickly wiped away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, examining his rough features. It was a bit of a stupid question to ask since i wasn't going to get a reply.

He shook his head, trying to dismiss the issue and using the sleeves from his jumper to wipe under his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

He connected his watery eyes with mine and my his shoulders slumped. He shook his head again. His once blue and shimmering eyes, were now dull, watery and turning grey.

I frowned, and i didn't know what i was doing untill i found myself wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

He tensed for a moment, until he loosely hung his arms around my shoulders, sniffling and leaning his head on my shoulder.

To think that Niall is technically still a stranger to me, it's a weird feeling to have, because it feels like i met him years ago. I think just putting our last hang out behind us, would be best. Are we even strangers? No, people who have known each other for 2 weeks are not strangers anymore. I think we are friends.

Ive asked myself that question too many times.

I must admit, I've missed Niall for some odd reason. He's not a very open or social person, but i understand that he has been through a rough time, he must have because he is very tender around the subject of not speaking, and his family. But i think that Niall is a good person. You can always tell what someone is like from the way they look at you, or how they respond when you speak to them. In Niall's case, responding is just a simple nod or shake of his head, and if that's how we have to communicate then thats fine by me. Even though we also talk by text, it's more fun to converse our special way.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened or..i don't mind. You don't have to tell me - unless you want to..cause I'm here for you if you need me and I'm sorry about what happened before i really shouldn't have pushed you into telling me and -"

Niall chuckled, pulling away from me and placing his finger to my lips, shaking his head. He opened the door wider and waved me in.

"Uh, are you sure?" I was hesitant to go into Niall's apartment. Louis'?. I don't know who owns it, I'm guessing they both do. I don't know why i was so nervous about going into their apartment. Niall is my friend, it's not like he is gonna kill me. Hopefully.

Niall nodded his head, and i walked past him, into his apartment. It smelt exactly like Niall, and has a gorgeous flat screen TV hanging on the wall. There are two sofa's facing each other with a coffee table sat in between, in front of the TV, and a small kitchen like area to the left. There was a counter with one of the small window things that looks out into the living area, it's cool. And there is a hallway which leads to the bedrooms and bathroom I'm guessing. It also has the entrance to the mini kitchen. The apartment is really cute and cosy, and what i noticed on the wall by the TV, was a picture of Niall and a curly haired boy. He had his arm draped over Niall's shoulder and they were both pulling weird faces. I guessed it was one of his friends.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, making me jump. I looked over at Niall, to see him holding his phone in his hand with his other stuffed into his pocket and a small smile on his face. I cant get over how adorable his smile is.

Wow, Emma. You are such a stalker.

i pulled my phone out of my pocket and observed the message from Niall.

Niall x -

do you wanna watch a film on netflix or somethin?

"Yeah, sure" I smiled back, "I would've replied by text but i have no credit left"

He chuckled, nodding and began typing again. While he was typing, i took in his outfit. Grey, 3/4 pants were hung loosely on his hips and a cream coloured, plain jumper covered his body. He looked extremely cuddly and all i wanted to do was hug him again.

Niall x -

Louis' gone out with El somewhere so idk we will probably alone for about half an hour and Emma i know I'm hot but seriously. Give your eyes a break 😂

As soon as i opened the message, my whole face went red and i could see him stifling a laugh in the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, don't flatter yourself too much, Horan" I grinned, patting his shoulder and plopping down onto the couch. I almost moaned at how comfortable it was. It was decorated with a black throw, and two red cushions. It looked quite kinky in a way, minus the 'sexual' part about it.

Wow, so in the past 10 minutes we have established that you are a stalker AND a loser. wow, Emma. Just wow.

I shook my conscience away, mentally telling her to fuck off before calling her a whore and resuming my attention back to Niall. He was now sat next to me on the sofa, his legs crossed as his eyes scanned the TV and even though he wasn't exactly doing anything, he still looked incredibly cute.

Oh my god, what is wrong with me?

Why am i feeling like this about Niall? Sure he is attractive and all but then again, so is Louis but i don't feel like that about him. Im not constantly thinking about him and complimenting him 24/7. Oh my god, ew what is this?

No, no no no. No way, i don't have feelings for Niall. I cant have! It's impossible. Ive known him for 2 weeks, i cant develop feeling for him over that short space of time. No, I'm being stupid. Calling someone cute doesn't mean you automatically 'fancy' them, if you wanna be a second grader about it.

Something jabbed into the side of my shoulder, then again a couple of seconds later. It was then that i realised it was Niall poking me. When i looked up at him, he pointed to the screen, asking for my opinion on the selected movie.

Jackass 3.0

"Oh my god" I nearly flung out of my seat, "You like Jackass too?" I have been watching Jackass ever since it first came out. It is like my all time favourite movie. Well, movie(s). They are hilarious and Johnny Knoxville is my bae.

Niall nodded, a smile making its way up onto his face.

Great, another thing that we have in common. That would be another thing to add onto the pile of 269302720274 other things we have in common. Seriously! Is my mind fucking with me or something?

Just before Niall was about to stand up, he grabbed his phone, quickly unlocking it and typing something. I assumed it was going to be a message for me so i got my phone out, ready to receive it. Niall must have noticed because a small chuckle escaped his lips and he glanced up at me.

Niall x -

popcorn? ;)

I nodded my head rapidly. I swear to god if Niall's favourite food is Popcorn too i will squeeze the juice out from his brain.

He stood up, running into the kitchen and disappearing behind the wall. Cupboards were heard opening and closing, packets were heard being torn open and something was being poured into what sounded like a plastic bowel.

A few minutes later, Niall came running back into the living room with a bowel of popcorn, popping a few into his mouth before joining me on the sofa. He sat a little closer to me this time. In fact a lot closer, our legs were touching and our arms were pressed together. Not that i minded.

He tore the throw off the back of the sofa and ordered me to lift my arms up by using hand actions, and wrapping the soft material around both of us. He laid the bowel in between us and picked up the remote, pressing play.


My phone buzzed in my lap just as i ate another piece of popcorn.

Niall x -

im really sorry :(

"What for?" I asked, my eyes looking back up at the TV. Jonny and Chris are about to avalanche themselves off a tree.

Niall x -

for calling you a bitch:( I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it

I tore my eyes off the tv now and looked at him. My heart broke.

His eyes were building up with water and he looked pale. He had messy hair and there were faint black lines under his eyes - mostly likely from lack of sleep - and i frowned.

"It's fine, Niall, it was my fault anyway. You don't need to get this upset about it" I softly spoke. I was worried that his lack of sleep because of me. But i don't get it, we hardly knew each other so it couldn't have been. So what is it? I decided not to ask.

He shook his head, a weak smile on his face as a small tear ran down his face.

"Hey" I took my whole attention away from the tv and brought my focus to Niall. I turned my whole body around to face him, but he still sat to the side of me, "Why are you crying?" I frowned again.

When he carried on ignoring me, i grabbed his chin and forced him (gently) to look at me. His eyes still didn't meet mine, like it would kill him just to look at me.

"Niall" I sighed, bringing my hand up to his face and swiping my thumb under his eyes. He close his eyes only to release another tear.

It's killing me, seeing him cry like this.

I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my head into his chest. I don't know why he's crying but i hate seeing him like that. I just wish he would talk to me, or at least tell me why he decides to avoid talking.

I felt him stiffen again. I don't think he's used to hugs. The first time he hugged me, i think he thought it was fine, because it was him hugging me. But now, I'm hugging him, and i think he's a little taken aback.

"Look, Niall," I tilted my head up to look at him, "I dont know why you are the way you are, but it's fine, you dont have to tell me. I completely understand. But i'm your friend now, and im here for you, ok? If you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to hug, i'm here for you." I promised him, and i felt two arms wrap around me. I smiled, sighing happily.

A few minutes later, i had managed to cheer Niall up a little more, and we were currently watching Wee man. He was standing in the centre of a bull ring with a red, yoga ball. Im guessing the bull is going to charge up to the red ball and wee man is going to go flying.

And that's exactly what happened.

Me and Niall burst out laughing as Wee man flew to the other side of the ring. It played again in slow motion, only making us laugh even more.

Niall was laughing so hard, and the noise rang through me like sirens. The sound of his laugh brought goosebumps to my skin (in a good way).

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, my stomach was hurting from laughing so much. It's how he just, literally, flew to the other side of the ring, his feet - his whole body for god sakes, came off the ground!

"Jesus Christ" I laughed, wiping under my eyes. I could feel Niall's glance on me every once in a while, either when i would laugh, or when i would look away in disgust. But every time he did, i swear i saw a smile on his face.

I let the thought drop and carried on watching the film with Niall.

I pretend gagged, hiding my face under the blanket as Steevo spread super glue all over his balls, and placed them onto Chris' chest. They were trying to get as many hairs, and basically transfer them to Steevo's balls. It's disgusting.

"That's vial" I covered my mouth, watching as he struggled to rip his balls away, "Oh my god" I nearly vomited.

I looked over at Niall, who's face was twisted in disgust. His eyes widened and i heard a snapping sound, followed by a loud bang come from the Tv. Niall covered his mouth and gagged. I wanted to know what happened? Are Steevo's balls free?

There's something i never thought i'd say/think.

I slowly turned my head towards the TV, my eyes half open, to see that Steevo had a rough patch of hairs stuck to his balls.

"Are you fucking -" I closed my eyes, hiding my head in my legs. That's way too disgusting.

The door suddenly opened, and my head snapped up, looking over at Louis and Eleanor who's mouths were hanging open. Louis quickly pulled his hand up to Eleanor's face, shielding her eyes from the disgusting view on the TV.

Niall slowly turned his head, and shot a weak smile at louis, waving slowly.

"Niall. I would expect something like this of you," He shook his head and i bit the inside of my cheek as Niall craned his head back and looked at Louis confused, "But Emma. Im appauled" Louis tutted, grabbing Eleanor's hand and dragging her down the hall to his room.

Me and Niall slowly turned our heads to look at each other, "What just happened?" I but my lip, a smile crawling onto my lips and i could feel a laugh about to escape.

Niall shrugged his shoulders, giving me and innocent look.

"So, this is something Louis expects of you. You do this often?" I smirked, referring to what is on the TV.

Niall shook his head rapidly, earning a loud laugh to emit from my mouth.

"Ew, Niall. That's gross" I teased him, shaking my head.

My phone began to buzz in my lap. At first i thought it was a text from Niall, but he was right in front of me, phone less, so i figured it was either Sam trying to annoy me or it's my dad who is annoyed at me.

I picked up my phone and sighed. Just my luck.

Dad -

Emma! Where the hell are you, it's nearly 11 o clock!!

"Shit" I muttered, typing back a quick reply. I didn't say that i was at Niall's because he will automatically assume that he is my boyfriend and barge into Niall's house, and mostly likely beat Niall up, or he will be nice and tell him to go and find a new girlfriend. Yeah, that's his way of nice.

Me -

Sorry, i'm on my way back now :)

i hoped to calm him down with the smiley face, obviously it wont but hey, it's better than being fucking slapped.

Niall was giving me a confused look as i rubbed my hands over my face in stress.

"It was my dad" i lifted up my phone, "He wants me home" I huffed, raking my fingers through my hair.

Niall seemed a little upset that i had to leave, but he covered it up with a smile and an understanding nod.

We both stood up and he walked me over to the door.

"Thanks..for this. It was fun" I smiled, and he chuckled, nodding again, "If i don't see you tomorrow, then i will be sure to bump into you in the hall"

We both laughed, and wrapped our arms around each other at the same time, like we were both going in for a hug. He seemed much more relaxed than the last time i hugged him, which means he's probably warming up to me more.

"Bye" I sighed. I was having so much fun at Niall's and i wish i could've stayed longer, but my dad had to wreck it and set me a curfew hour. Dick.

He gave me a small wave as i turned down the hall and walked back into my apartment. I was met with an angry dad, who's arms were crossed and had a sharp expression on his face. Sam was stood behind him, smirking.

Wow, i miss Niall already, jeez. It's only 11 o clock, calm down!

I wish i could say that.

"Hi" I smiled, walking past them and stopping as soon as my name was spat.

"Where have you been?" Dad asked sharply, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Jessica's" I lied, shrugging and attempting to walk back into my room.

"Don't lie to me Emma" He seethed, walking closer to me. Oh god, No. Please don't hit me.

"Fine" I gave in, i really wasn't looking forward to a slap mark on my arm, "These new people just moved in down the hall and i went over. Im just being neighbourly" I tried to reason with him, but his eyes grew wide.

"Niall Horan" He muttered to him self, his eyes flashing with terror, "No" He snapped his gaze back to me, "You are to stay away from him, do you hear me?"

I drew my eyebrows together, my back hitting a wall, "W -why?" I stuttered, he was edging closer and closer to me.

"Because i said so" He yelled, and i flinched as he raised his hand in the air, only to bring it to his forehead. He eyes softened. I thought he was going to hit me.

"He is extremely dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt, Em." He sighed, bringing his hand up to my cheek.

"What?" I ripped his hand away from me and furrowed my eyebrows together again, my tone becoming angry, "Dangerous? Niall wouldn't hurt a fly!" I threw my arms in the air, "Niall is my friend!"

He shrieked, taking a step back from me. He locked his jaw, pointing his finger at me, "You are not to be friends with that..monster" He warned.

I clenched my fists, "Don't you dare speak of Niall like that, you don't even know him" I spat, daringly taking a step closer to him.

"And don't think that just because you are my dad, that you can tell me who i can and cant be friends with, because I'm 18, practically an adult. You cant order adults around" I sneered, smirking.

His face was twisted with anger as i walked away and headed straight for my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I breathed out a shaky sigh and my eyes widened as i leaned back on the door. What the fuck did i just do?

Who was that out there? Because that certainly wasn't me. I never get that angry, at anyone! Never mind my dad! Fuck, he's going to kill me. Forget the slap, he will shove my head into a blender.

Shit shit shit. I quickly locked the door, backing away from it and scrambling into my bed. I hid under the quilts, like they are going to protect me, and waited for the ferocious pounding on my door, and the murderous death threats that dad would yell at me through the door.

But they never came.

I tore the sheet's off me, looking at the door in confusion. Have i actually done it this time?

Why is he not breaking the door down and screaming curse words at me? This isn't normal.

Ever since the death of my mum, he would drink and drink and drink, and i would always be his target when he came home drunk. He would be the bull, and i'd be the hopeless bull fighter, standing in front of him with a red blanket. Or me and Sam would be sitting in my room, crying and hugging each other while he destroyed the living room.

But I've noticed a change in him over this last week. He seems..nicer. He rarely shouts at me anymore, and the look of pain that shone in his eyes when i flinched, really got to me. He knows that i truly am scared of him and i think he has only just realised.

But i proved him that I'm not putting up with his bullshit anymore. Because after all, i'm an adult now. He can't hit me anymore. Can he? Isn't it illegal to hit an adult?

I hopped out of my bed, and began getting undressed (after closing the blinds of course). I tore off my black, Sleeping with sirens shirt, and replaced it with a black tank top and slipped on some chequered bottoms. I scraped my hair up into a messy ponytail and pulled some furry socks over my feet. I will just kick them off again once i get into bed.

What should i do now? If i stay in here and curl up in bed while watching the simpsons, he's going to think i have just gave in and that I'm weak and afraid of him. But if i go into the living room or simply just get something to eat, it will show him that I'm not a coward who says something and then coops up in their room, regretting they i did, because i certainly don't regret standing up for myself. I was probably standing up for Niall, more than i was for myself. But i pushed that thought away, and stood up, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door and casually walking out.

Sam was the first to see me. He still looked taken aback at my sudden confidence in talking to my dad like that, but what surprised me, was how he just sent me a small smile and turned away. Dad was sitting next to him and i saw his arm sling over Sam's shoulder. Sniffling noises were heard and i grew confused. Is Sam crying?

I pulled open the kitchen cabinet, looking back at them every once in a while. Sam never cries, except when he has been told off or when he gets injured, but dad hasn't told him off or injured him, has he? No, because Sam wouldn't be hugging up to him.

I took a bottle of pepsi out of the fridge and took a packet of crips out from the cabinet, closing the door and walking over to the sofa. Dad and Sam were both crying.

Dad..was crying. Crying.

I rubbed my eyes, looking over at them again. Yep, they both had watery eyes, and they were both sniffling.

"What's - What happened?" I stuttered.

Dad looked up at me with tear filled eyes. Sam hugged tighter into his chest, quietly sobbing. What's going on?

"Em" Dad began, wiping under his eyes, "I just got a call from the hospital. It's about your grandma"

My body froze, "Is she ok?" I quietly asked, already knowing what the answer will be. The lump in my throat was already crawling it's way up and i stiffened when he said,

"She..She passed away, Em." He spoke softly, petting Sam's hair.

I stood, looking at him with wide eyes. No. Please let this be a dream. Wake me up, right now. No.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My whole body felt like it had just been stabbed repeatedly. A warm tear had already made it's way down my cheek and i turned away from them, trailing into my room and shutting the door. I let out a shaky sigh, closed my eyes and sinking my teeth over my bottom lip.

I let out a loud cry, my whole body collapsing onto the floor and my arms hugging my body. No. This cant be happening, she cant have gone.

I hugged my legs up to my chest, resting my head on my knee caps and sobbing relentlessly.

She has only been in hospital for 2 weeks, and it's not like she had any major illnesses or anything. Plus, she was 73! It cant have been from old age, she didn't smoke and she wasn't in any kind of pain so why? Why did she die?

Just hearing that word replaying in my head was enough to make me cry even harder. My grandma had always been very close with me, ever since i was little. We would play games together like hide and seek, or she would hide my teddy and make me find it.

I had hardly seen her this past year though, and i wish i had now. I didn't really make time for her and that will be my biggest regret. I never even got to say goodbye.

The tears over powered me once again and i emitted a loud sob, my cheeks were wet and sticky but more and more tears would over wash them. I could just feel the black droplets pouring down my face from my running makeup.

My door opened but i didn't look up to see who it was. I couldnt. I felt weak and all i wanted to do was cry. I hate myself for not going to see her in hospital. I hate myself for not making time for her this last year.

"Em" My dad's voice approached me, and i felt strong, warm arms wrap around me.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged into his chest, crying pathetically.

"Shh. It's gonna be ok, Em" He cooed, his voice shaky and i felt his hand stroke my hair.

"I didn't - i should - i .. i" I couldn't form a coherent sentence, all i could do was cry. I was choking on my own tears and Dad's soothing voice only helped me a little bit.

There was one person that i needed. One person that could make me feel better. It sounds weird, because we aren't all that close, but something is telling me that i need him right now. I need his soft and comforting hugs, his adorable smile and his warm touch.

But he's the one person that i cant have.

"Come on Em, it's gonna be alright" Dad whispered, planting a soft kiss to my forehead.

I tried to calm myself down. She's in a better place now. She can be free and happy, and that's what i want. For her to be happy.

I sniffled, wiping under my eyes with the backs of my hands and pulled away from him, sending him a weak smile, "Thanks" I sniffled again.

"Is it ok for Sam to stay in your room tonight? He's still a little shaken up and i think you two need each others company"

I groaned, "But i just changed my bed, it's clean and -"

"Emma" Dad spoke warningly.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine"

He smiled, standing up and giving my shoulder a small squeeze before exiting my room.

I left my food and drink on my dresser, ill have them tomorrow. Ive lost my appetite.

Grabbing the remote from the table, i turned on the TV, switching over to Cartoon Network. Obviously, 'Channel off air'. I think i have it on record anyway.

"Emmy" Sam's voice trembled from behind me. I turned around and he stood in the door way, fumbling with his fingers and his eyes were filled with pain.

"Get in" I motioned towards the bed, not showing him any kind of emotion. I didn't want him in here anyway but i didn't want to upset dad so i have to.

I luckily found a recorded episode of Adventure Time and decided to put it on. It might help cheer both of us up a bit and i really need it right now. So i slipped in next to Sam, and kept as much distance from him as possible.

30 minutes later, i had already watched 3 episodes of Adventure Time and i wasn't feeling any better. Sam had managed to fall asleep but i couldn't. I just couldn't. It was now 12:30, and i wasn't sure if Niall was awake, but i needed someone to talk to, so i text him. I feel like everyday we are getting closer and closer.

Me -

are you awake?

I pressed send, turning on my side to face the TV. Fin and Jake were doing this weird dance, and it managed to get a small chuckled out of me, but that was it.

My phone buzzed, and i don't think I've ever been so happy to receive a text before.

Niall x -

Yeah I'm awake. You ok? :)

I sighed, frowning. I hate lying to him, but i have to. I don't really want to tell anyone about it yet and i just want to think about something else.

Me -

yeh, i just need someone to talk to (:


hii ;p

sorry this chapter was kinda short and depressing but yeh

I'm not gonna make this long so tanksss for reading ^_^

love you guys;) baii


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