Outcast || n.h

"That boy is trouble, Emma. I want you to stay away from him"

"He isnt trouble, he's just lonely!"

"He isn't what you think at all Emma"

And he was right.

Copyright © 2014 ziamsparkle.


3. 0.2 | so, you wanna hang out?

hai ;p hope you guys enjoy this second chaptuUuUuUuUr ( yes, i meant to spell it wrong -.- )

✭unedited :/ sawwy 😌

❀emma's pov❀

I was awoken by the blaring noise coming from my alarm clock. The sound of marimba ringing in my ears. I attempted to block out the noise by burying my head under my pillow, but it didn't work, so i had to reach over and turn my phone off.

Today is Saturday..i think, which means it's my lazy day. Basically, i can do anything i want. I can lay in bed all day, stay in my pyjamas and watch TV, watch youtube..and then i remembered.

Oh shit.

Niall asked me to hang out with him today. I don't know why but i suddenly felt a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, just at the thought of him.

Ew, what the fuck is wrong with me? I don't even know him. All i know is that he is irish, his name is Niall and he lives 3 doors down from me! Sure he is cute, but i certainly don't like him in an..overly friendly kind of way. I think today is going to be the day to get to know him. It will be hard, since he doesn't speak, but we will find a way to communicate. He asked me to meet him at 12:30 in the hallway, i thought it was a little early, but the time now was 11:00, so i better start getting ready.

I groggily sat up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand and stretching my arms over my head, emitting a loud yawn. My vision was still a little blurry, so i decided to take a shower.

Slipping out of the warm covers, i stumbled out into the living room and made my way to the bathroom. My apartment is so weird. My bedroom leads out straight into the living room, does Sam's. He sleeps in the room next to me and he snores like a fucking troll. Everynight, at around 3 am, i get woken up by his constant snoring, so i have to go into his room and slap him.

As i walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, quickly stepping back before i got drenched, and closed the door.

My bathroom is probably the most luxurious place in the house. A layer of sleek, black marble tiles covered the floor, an enclosed shower with black rims sat in the far right corner and a fluffy, white rug was placed just before the opening of the door. I don't really know how to describe a toilet, apart from the fact that it's white, it has a silver knob and it sits right next to the sink in the far left corner.


After my shower, i slid on some black, skinny jeans with a black, blink 182 shirt and left my hair down. When i had dried it, I curled the ends a little more, so that it was nice and wavy, but i decided to clip my fringe back, into a small quiff so i looked like i had at least made an attempt to look decent.

I picked up the black pen, and drew a light line of eyeliner just under my eye, adding on a little bit of mascara with it and deciding to leave it at that. I don't wear foundation or any of the crap that absolutely cakes your face, i just use mascara and a little bit of eyeline. No biggie.

Finishing my other eye, i decided i was done, and headed into the kitchen to grab some breakfast. Sometimes i don't eat breakfast because i don't have a very big appetite in the morning, but that was when i went to school and i was always late up in the morning.

I guess i kind of miss school. My best friend, Michael, would always walk to school with me, and he would wait outside my door for at least 10 minutes while i got ready. It was really funny, because we had to run to school, and we looked like absolute twats running.

Grabbing a box of Frosties from my cupboard, i poured them into a bowel and added milk, walking over to the sofa and sitting down. I picked up the remote from the chair, only to get it snatched out of my hand by Sam.

"Sam!" I yelled, groaning as he changed it to the Disney Channel side, "But Adventure Time is on Sam!" I whined. Both me and Sam always watch adventure time. Yes, surprisingly me and Sam do get along, like 10% of the time. honestly though, i know I'm 18 but nobody gets too old for Adventure Time.

Sam's eyes widened and he quickly changed the channel back to Cartoon Network, and luckily the episode had only just started.

"Adventure Time, c'mon grab your friends, we're going to very distant lands. Jake the dog and fin the hu-man, the fun will never end, it's Adventure Time!" Sam sang, jumping excitedly in his chair.

I was growing annoyed as i was trying to eat my ceral, but he was jumping about in his chair, nudging me and making me wobble. So when he turned to me, i pushed my hand in his face and made him fall back onto the sofa. I smirked, picking up my spoon and shoving the cereal into my mouth.

"Ugh I've seen this one" I groaned, eating another spoonful.

Sam positioned himself back up onto the sofa and shrugged, "So? So have i"

I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my cereal and re-watch the episode that I'm pretty sure i had seen about 4 times before.


After the episode had finished, i groaned in relif. I could literally remember every word to it.

Standing up from the sofa, i put my bowel in the sink and pulled out my phone, sending Niall a quick text and asking him if he is ready.

It's weird, because even though i have only known him for a day, it seems like much longer. I don't know why, because we came off at a bad start, but the next thing you know, he is hugging me.

I brushed it off and picked up my buzzing phone, to see i had a reply from Niall.

Niall x -


I quickly ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, making sure that i looked decent enough, before slinging on my converse and grabbing my phone from my room.

"Tell dad that I've gone out ok?" I said, walking over to the door, "He should be back in about 10 minutes so you wont be on your own for long" I informed Sam.

"K" He replied, swinging his legs back and forth, his eyes glued to the tv.

i rolled my eyes before shouting a 'bye' and leaving, shutting the door behind me.

As soon as i look down the hall, i see Niall coming out of his own apartment, and looking straight over at me. He smiled and waved, me doing the same as i walked over to him.

"So, where'd you wanna go?" I asked, and he chuckled, pulling out his phone from his pocket, and typing something onto it. while i was waiting for him, i observed his outfit.

He wore simple black jeans, with a 3/4 sleeved, white top which had 2 black stripes going just across the elbow part. I had to say, he looked really nice, and i especially liked his white pumas, they go with everything.

My phone buzzed, and i looked down, reading the message from Niall,

Niall x -

I don't mind. Anywhere. Although Louis said that there is a new coffee shop in central park sooo, you wanna check it out?

I smiled, nodding to him and watched as the smile grew on his face. He has an adorable smile.

Oh my god. What the fuck is wrong with me?

We began walking awkwardly down to the lobby and out of the building. I really wanted to know why he doesn't speak, but i don't want to ask him just yet, I've only know him for a day and he might take it offencively. i don't know him, so he could be one of those guys.

We made it out of the building, and we were were currently walking along the side walk. i was thinking of things to say, things that don't involve a long answer, but the only thing i could think of asking was 'why don't you talk,'

Eventually, i came out with, "So, Louis told me that you are irish" i started. i need to try and strike up a conversation which doesn't necessarily require him speaking. He nodded and stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets. Wow this is going to be harder than i thought. But Niall seems intriguing and nice, i really want to get to know him more, and i could have already done that but he doesn't fucking speak!

"Uhm..do you like music?" I asked, earning a small smile from him as he nodded his head again.

"Do you like rock music?"

He nodded again, a small smirk beginning to play on his lips.

"Uhm, do you like Sleeping With Sirens?"

I would just play it like this. All he has to do is nod or shake his head, and eventually i will get to know him a little more. But it comes slow, so ill have to be patient. Little by litte.

He once again nodded his head and i smiled. Im glad that we already have something in common.

"So do i" I smiled, "Is you favourite colour blue?" I randomly asked. Blue is my favourite colour, and i just wanted to see if there was anything else that is similar about us.

When he nodded again, i laughed, "wow, so is mine" i stated and a small chuckle escaped his lips. I was dying to hear his laugh again, it's funny but adorable at the same time. And it only lasted for a couple of seconds.

He picked out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it, going straight onto messages. I knew what he was doing already, so i pulled my phone out in advance, and he looked over at me, then to my phone, and he emitted a small laugh. It was a quiet and small one, but it was still enough to make my heart flutter.

Ok, what the fuck? I am starting to freak myself out now. 'It was a quiet and small one, but it was still enough to make my heart flutter' Like seriously, who says that about someone they have known for a day? Obviously weird ass loners like me.

My phone beeped, bringing me from my thoughts and i looked down at the received message.

Niall x -

I like a lot of rock bands. Sleeping with sirens, Pierce the veil, uhh Black veil brides are alright, Blink 182 i love, and All time low are pretty sick too :p my favourite out of all of them is probably Blink 182

Oh my god.

He likes every single band that i like. Wow. Ironic much?

I began to type back a message, and i saw him trying to look over at what i was putting, so i raised my eyebrow at him and turned my phone away, earning another small laugh from him.

I ended up putting,

Me -

Oh my god, i love every single one of them bands, but my favourite is Sleeping with sirens, defo(: i met kellin as well about 2 months ago HAHAHAHAHA asuwlcncwdouckru, just to let you know;)

I can still remember when i met him. Oh my god i was crying so much, luckily i began to cry right after i got a picture with him, but then he hugged me and i fell into a sobbing fit. It was embarrassing but he laughed and i was freaking out. Literally, every bone in my body was shaking and i couldn't control myself, my hands were about to fall off. I have the picture framed, and sat on my dresser, and, i kiss the poster i have of him on my wall every night, because thats how much of a loner i actually am.

Niall gaped at me as if i were an alien or something. He shook his head as if he didn't believe me and i chuckled, opening up the photo album on my phone, and clicking on the photo, showing it to him. His mouth dropped open and he swayed his head.

Picking up his phone again, he began typing a message. It seemed to be a short one because my phone vibrated straight away.

Niall x -

Lucky;) i wish i met him

I smirked at him and shoved my phone back into my pocket as we began to edge closer and closer to the coffee shop.

We were finally entering the shop, and it looked really nice. Everything was squeaky clean, it looked really modern and the smell of the coffee filled the air.

As i looked around, i saw a free table sat by the window, so i walked over to it with Niall, and we both sat down.

"Oh, uh, you stay here and save the table, ill go get us a drink" i smiled and he nodded, opening up the Facebook app on his phone.

I turned on my heel, stalking over to the short line, and felt relieved as it appeared to be moving quickly.

So far, me and Niall are getting along great, and im really happy. But the thought of just asking him, why he doesnt talk, is still bugging me. I need to ask him! But i cant, not just yet. Ill get to know him a little more over some coffee, and just when we are leaving, then i will ask him.

Satisfied with my plan, i moved a little further down the que, as i watched people walk away with their coffee's.

"Hello. What would you like?" The lady behind the till gently spoke, a sweet smile spread across her lips, when i finally reached the front.

"Ill have two regular coffee's please" I asked politely and she nodded, walking away and grabbing a cup from one of the tables.

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and examined my light blue fingernails. They were becoming chipped as the nail polish was starting to come off. I don't take very good care of my nails, as I'm chewing on them 24/7 and i paint them a different colour at least every week.

The lady came back with the two coffee's and the amount came up to £5.20. It's not a lot for coffee.

I pulled out a £10 note fro my pocket and handed it to her, waiting patiently as she drew out my changed from the till.

She handed me a £5 note and 80p in coins, and i thanked her for the drinks before stuffing the money into my pocket and walking back to the table.

I sat down, opposite from Niall and handed him his coffee. He looked up from his phone and noticed it was me, so he put it down on the table, smiling at me and picking up his drink. Im guessing the smile was a way to thank for me it, so i nodded back and took a sip of my own coffee. It was kind of hot, but not scorching hot.

"So" I spoke, putting my cup down on the table, "How old are you?" I asked, hoping not to come off as being rude. Ive heard that it is rude to ask someone their age, or is it only women that your not supposed to ask? i don't know, but he didn't look offended as he picked up his phone, and began to type me a reply.

Niall x -

18. You?

Niall is 1 year older than me, I'm 18.

Me -

18 too :/

I replied, and a small smile grew on his face as his eyes skimmed over the message.

Niall x -

haha, when is your birthday? mine's september 13th

Me -

december 3rd. hey, there is not much between us. You are only 3 months older than me so don't try and tease me about it or ill rip ye dick off m8 >:c

Niall x -

haha, you're weird. but don't worry, I'm weird too ;) weird is better than normal

I smiled, becoming more comfortable with Niall by every text. We have quite a lot in common so far, and luckily, he is weird like me so i don't have to feel embarrassed every time i do or say something stupid.

Me -

Good(: yeah it is, i don't think i know any people that are normal actually, probably because all the normal people don't like me because I'm weird ^~^

Niall x -

hahaha, i don't know any normal people either, but then again, i don't exactly know a lot of people either

As soon as he sent the message, something told my by the expression on his face, like he shouldn't have said that, or that he has said too much. it felt like he had a secret that he cant tell, and that he has just gave a bit of it away. i don't know, I'm only guessing, but every time he talks about not being very social or about other people, he seems to tense up on the subject. It happened when i first met Louis yesterday, and Niall glared at Louis when he told me that Niall was quiet and shy.

Me -

oh. i don't really know many myself..

Was all i could put. I took another sip of my coffee and looked around the shop. It was quite a small and cosy shop. The layout is kind of like McDonalds. There are a couple of tables near the windows, but its more of a take out kind of thing. But since the weather wasn't particularly warm, i wasn't planning on freezing Niall to death, so i decided to stay indoors.

Niall x -

soo, do you have any brothers or sisters? orrr pets?

My mind travelled to Sam and i grimaced, i didn't want to even place him as my brother, or any relation to me, but i guess i had to.

Me -

yeh, i have a younger brother called Sam, but no pets. what about you?

Niall x -

cool ;p i have an older brother called Greg, but i don't really see him anymore..

The same expression was back on his face, the one that looked like he needs to stop talking because he has said too much. I was growing confused. It's something around the topic of people that he doesn't like. Maybe he is just a really antisocial bastard who doesn't like people. Basically, me.

Me -

Oh, how come you don't see him?:(

I felt a bit hesitant about putting it, but it might lead to me getting to know something about why he doesn't speak. Maybe he will tell me why he doesn't speak. But something about how he is looking down at his phone right now, tells me that he cant tell me why.

Niall x -

It doesn't matter. he just lives far away, thats all. Uhm, soo you going to college?

When i received the text, i smirked to myself. I knew he wouldn't tell me. This is what i mean, it's something around the subject of people, or family. I dont know what it is, but if i don't find out soon, it will be bugging me all night. Maybe it's linked to why he doesnt speak? And i could also tell by the way he was trying to change the subject.

Me -

Yeah, I'm starting in 3 weeks. Are you?

Niall x -

Yup, I'm starting the same time as you, which college are you going to?

Me -

Hellington..I'm guessing that you are going to that one too

Niall x -

You guessed correct haha

Niall going to the same college as me, will not only give us more time to hang around with eachother, he will open up to me more, and maybe, just maybe i will get him to talk. From what it looks like, it seems like he hasn't been talking for a while. But i am just dying to ask him why.

Me -

Soo we live 3 doors down from each other, + now we are going to the same college, I'm never going to get rid of you ! >n<

I jokingly put, and felt my stomach flip as a laugh escaped his lips.

I was beginning to grow to like him more and more. He is extremely attractive, he has an amazing laugh and his smile is beutiful. Obviously i don't like him in a 'fancy' kind of way, i like Niall in a friend way, and think is a nice person from how I've got to know him so far. But what i was particularly interested in, was his mysterious and locked up personality. He was interesting and i was just dying to know more about him.

Niall x -

hey! meanie, im already getting bullied by you and i hardly know you :'(

I took another sip of my coffee and read the message, chuckling as i typed one back.

Me -

I think it's fair to say that we are now friends. It's been a day, and it only really takes me 5 seconds to make a friend ;)

Niall x -

Hmm...okay:) You can be my fwend ;D

Me -

yay c;

Now that we have agreed to be friends, i felt more comfortable with the idea of asking Niall. Because i think he has gotten to like me a bit more and he may not seem so uncomfortable with the question, so I'm going to do it.

Me -

Uh, don't take this offensively or anything, but I've been wondering for a while..how come you don't talk?

nialls pov

Emma ;) -

Uh, don't take this offensively or anything, but I've been wondering for a while..how come you don't talk?

Oh shit. No. Fuck fuck fuck.

I knew this was coming. I have just been waiting for her to ask this, and lets just say i haven't been looking forward to it.

Flashbacks of the man holding a gun to his head and pulling the trigger invaded my mind and i tensed. I hate thinking about this. His lifeless body collapsing onto the floor, blood tickling from his head. This witness was enough to scar me for life, and completely stop talking. He was so special to me, and i cant believe i have lost him. Mum has just completely pushed me out of her life, my ex girlfriend walked out on me, and the rest of my family want nothing to do with me.

I froze when she asked about Greg, i couldn't tell her about my past, no way, so i just had to say that it didn't matter and i had to lie. It is true that he lives far away, because he moved back to ireland, but only because it was to get away from me. I miss Greg.

The death of that man was purely my fault. It's my fault that the most important people to me have neglected me and i miss him so much. I would give anything just to take it all back and have that fucking gang put behind bars. I messed up so much in my past, and I'm not ready to tell Emma about it, because she is the closest thing i have now. Her and Louis, are all i have, and I'm afraid that if i tell her, she will do the exact same thing that everyone else has done.

Me :3 -

It doesn't matter, it's sorta personal :/

Was all i could put. I don't want to upset her and make her think that she was being rude or anything, because she wasnt. I think i would ask her why she didn't speak if it was the other way around, but it's too complicated for her to understand, and i don't want her to be scared and run away from me.

Emma ;) -

I understand if it's personal, but you can tell me, i wont tell anyone i swear :)

This is what i mean when i say that it's complicated, she doesn't understand that i cant tell her. I just cant. I know that she will be up and out of this shop within two seconds if i tell her.

Me :3 -

its not about you telling anyone, i just cant

When i grabbed my coffee, and took another sip of it, i looked up to see her hand lifting up her head, with her elbow sat on the table, and a sigh escaping her lips as she looked down at her phone.

God, i wish i could tell her, i really do, but i cant afford to loose anymore people. Its bad enough that my own my mum has rejected me.

Emma ;) -

Pleaaseee, you can tell me! :)

I know this must be really bugging her, not knowing, but it was really beginning to annoy me, how she kept pestering me.

Me :3 -

i cant, I'm sorry but its too complicated.

Emma ;) -

i will un-complicate it :D

Me :3 -

Emma, i really cant tell you. please just drop it.

I didn't like being so serious, but i had to. She wouldn't stop begging me, yet she doesn't understand how stressful this is for me.

As i took another sip of my coffee, i looked over to her and a frown was set on her lips, a small strand of hair falling in front of her face as she began to type another message back.

God she is beautiful. I know i have only known her for a day, but it isn't wrong to think a girl is pretty is it? Plus she has an amazing personality from what I've seen so far. She is funny, she has a lot in common with me, she is beautiful, and she has even met Kellin Quinn. Lucky little fucker.

Emma ;) -

Why cant you tell me? It cant be that bad ):

If only she knew

It is seriously bad, and i have spent nearly every night of my life, crying myself to sleep since i was 14. My life back then was so fucked up. I would do everything i could to get my hands on any type of drugs, or alcohol. But that's how i was. And what made it worse, was the fact that i was only 14. I was young and stupid, but i had no idea that it would lead to someones death.

Me :3 -

Emma, i really don't want to discuss this, please can we just leave it?

Emma ;) -

But i don't get it :( pls just tell me, I'm really curious

My temper was beginning to rise, and i knew that any minute i would do something i was going to regrett, or at least something that I'm not going to want to do.

It's becoming annoying and really audacious of her to keep pestering me on such a soft topic. I hate thinking about this stuff, because it reminds me of how things used to be, and how everything was, before i met the gang.

My mum would regularly take me out to the shops with her, and buy me new clothes, or boots for football practise. And my dad would take me to all the football games, take me to the movies, allow my friends to stay over every once in a while. I can also remember the saturdays that we would share together. The whole family would sit together in the living room, Greg would order a pizza and we would all watch a film. I would sit in between my mum and Greg and he would always tease me, or steal my pizza from me and we would always argue, but it was never anything major.

God, i miss those times, and i miss him.

I could feel a lump rising I'm my thoat, and my eyes becoming glossy, but i wouldn't cry, because I'm a man, and i don't cry..except for when i really need to. Mainly at night times when i allow my mind to drift off and think. But i never, ever cry.

Me :3 -

i don't like talking about it ok? so please just leave it and we can talk about something else

Emma ;) -


Me :3 -


I was gradually becoming more and more frustrated, my grip on my phone was growing tighter and i felt like i was about to explode any minute.

Emma ;) -

Niall i wont be able to sleep id you don't tell me, pleasee :(

And that was it. That was when i lost it.

Me :3 -

Do you not understand english anymore? i told you i don't wanna fucking talk about it because it upsets me, ok?! And you know why that is?! Because i am a fucking Outcast! Ok!? Nobody gives a single fuck about me because of what i did, so there, go and be curious about that and stop being such a nosy bitch

I hit send, and immediately stood up, slamming my chair into the table and leaving my coffee, making my way out of there as fast as i could.

I could feel a single tear trying to escape my eye, but i wouldn't let it, i was too mad to cry.

I cant believe her! Why wouldn't she just stop begging me? If i say no once, it clearly means 'I'm not going to tell you, no matter how much you plead, it wont change my mind'.

She seems to be so interested in me, but i don't know why. All that surrounds me is a boring, old shell, with nothing inside. A hollow and empty chest. Im not funny, i can be nice at times, and i spend most of my days, sat in my room, weeping.

I guess i lied before, when i said i don't cry. That is all i pretty much ever do, cry cry cry and cry some more, until i have no more tears left, just the depressing memories of my my family that once loved me.

I just cant understand why she would like me. A cold, heartless human being without a soul, somebody that no one wants to be around, a dismissive wretch, an unwanted and lonely soul.

An Outcast.


Minutes later, i was running up the stairs, taking two at a time, and panting relentlessly as i came to my door.

I entered, closing the door quietly and hoping not to make any sound. I need to get to my room and pretend to be asleep, as fast as i can, because if Louis come's out of his room and asks me how it went with Emma, he is going to kill me.

"Niall?" Louis voice billowed through the small apartment and i jumped slightly, his small body making it's way over to me as he greeted me with a confused look.

"What's wrong? How did you day with Emma go?" He asked, the smile on his face wide as he spoke to me. i remained silent obviously, but i reluctantly lifted my hand and swayed it. As if to say, 'It was alright' and i walked past him, hoping he wouldn't question me any further.

But i was wrong.

"What? Why only 'ok'? Why not great?" He furrowed his eyebrows, following me into my room as i sat down on my bed.

I looked up at him and saw that his features were starting to turn annoyed and i knew he was already beginning to realise. So i just shrugged.

"Oh no..Niall, you didn't tell her did you?" His features softened up and his eyes began to widen.

I shook my head, and he blew a sigh of relif, but i wore guilty look on my face. I really regret calling her a nosy bitch, but she was pushing me when i clearly didn't want to talk about it.

"It's somewhere around those lines isn't it" He sighed and i slowly nodded, flinching as he slammed his hand down on the desk.

"Niall, what happened?" He sharply asked and i hesitated. I didn't want to tell him, because i knew he would be mad at me. I don't like it when Louis' mad. I know how much Emma's friendship with us means to him, because he is trying to do it for me, he wants me to make more friends so i will stop feeling so shitty about myself, but i cant. No amount of friends is going to pull me out of the dark state of depression i am still hung in, but at least i am not a drowsy and completely blocked off person. I still allow fun and happiness in my life.

I figured that i'd have to tell him, because one way or another he will find out, and i don't want him to have to hear it from Emma. So i reached past him and grabbed a pen and piece of paper from the desk, and began to scribble down a rough idea of what happened.

'We were talking by text, and everything was going great. We have a lot in common and i was beginning to really like her, but then she asked me why i don't speak, which i thought was fine because its normal to ask that. But when i said it doesn't matter, she kept begging me and pleading me to tell her, but i said that i cant, and eventually i had enough of her. So i walked out on her and left her in the coffee shop..and i called her a nosy bitch :( I'm sorry'

Was what i wrote, and by every word that Louis read, his features grew madder and madder and i knew,

he is gonna murder me

"God damn it Niall!" He yelled, crumpling up the piece of paper in his hands and throwing it into the trash can, "I can understand why you got mad but you didn't have to walk out and call her a bitch!" He ran a hand through his messy hair before bringing his hand down the his face and pinching the bridge of his nose, emitting a low sigh.

"What did she do after you left?" He asked, and i shrugged.

He sighed again, taking another piece of paper fro the desk and handing it to me.

I clicked the end of the pen, and began scribbling words down onto the paper, handing it ro him when i was done.

'I don't know what she did after i left, i didn't look back. but i know that i shouldn't have called her a bitch, i was just really angry and i started to think of stuff again. Im really sorry :( i'll apologise to her i promise'

I sometimes am scared of Louis. It doesn't take long for him to loose his temper, and i know he only wants the best for me, but now it doesn't look like Emma will want much do do with me anymore. I didn't make a very good first impression, and i defiantly haven't made a very good friend.

He scanned his eyes along the short message before sighing and looking down at me. I had my head looking down at my lap in shame, i really do feel bad.

"Aw buddy" He lowered his voice, and i felt a dip in the bed next to me, and an arm sling over my shoulder, "Look, i know how hard this is for you, to be going through this situation and have everyone questioning you about it, but Emma was only trying to be nice, and I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude. I think you should just apologise for your outburst, and let her apologise for pestering you, which I'm sure she will do" He assured me and i relaxed. I thought he was scream and throw things at me, but I'm glad he is being so understanding.

I nodded, and smiled. He returned one and brought his other arm around me, pulling me into a manly hug.

"Are you ok? Do you want anything or do you want to be left alone?" He questioned, pulling away from me.

I picked up the pen again and wrote down my answer.


He gave me an understanding look and stood up, patting my back with his hand and bidding me goodnight, before leaving and closing the door behind me.

I sighed, falling back onto my bed and staring at the boring, white colour of the ceiling. There was no real pattern on it, except from the bumpy surface of where the paint hasn't dried out properly.

I knew for sure that Emma would be pissed at me for calling her a bitch, but the most i can do right now is apologise, and hope that she forgives me.

emma's pov

i was perched on my bed, with my elbow resting on my crossed legs and my chin resting in my hand as i flicked through tumblr on my laptop.

i cant believe what happened today.

i was shocked at his sudden outburst, when all i really wanted to do was get him to open up to me, but i came out as a nosy bitch.

My phone buzzed in my lap, and a notification came up on my lock screen saying

Niall x -

Im sorry about today, for storming out and calling you a bitch :(

I rolled my eyes, leaving a short reply before chucking my phone down on my bed and resuming back to my laptop.

Me -


I replied.

My mind wondered back to today, and the text that Niall sent me. He said something about being an Outcast.

I wasn't sure what an Outcast was, so i typed into google, 'define Outcast' and i was shocked with the results.

The definiton of 'Outcast'

/ noun

noun: outcast; plural noun: outcasts


a person who has been rejected or ostracized by their society or an individual. "He meant nothing to her anymore, or to anyone. He is just an outcast."

Reject, leper, untouchable; stray; displaced person, outsider, castaway, Misfit, Unwanted person.

adjective: outcast


(of a person) rejected or ostracized. "They can be made to feel outcast and inadequate, not worth anything to anyone. Lonely and Rejected."

My jaw dropped and i covered my mouth with my hand.

'Lonely and Rejected'

'Unwanted Person'


'A person who has been rejected'

I was finding it hard to process this all.

I cant believe..Niall..is an Outcast.

Niall is lonely and rejected.

Niall is an unwanted person.

Niall is a misfit.

Niall is a person who has been rejected.

My mind was whirling and i my head was becoming dizzy. I don't believe it. Oh my god.

But why?

Why is Niall all those things? What could he have done to become an Outcast? Is it the reason why he doesn't speak? Is it why he was so edgy on the area of why he doesn't speak?

My whole brain was clogged up with questions. Unanswered questions that i couldn't answer myself and it bugged me more than anything.

But the thing is, i dont see Niall as any of those things. He is sweet, and cheerful, i couldn't place him as an Outcast.

Why does does he place himself as one?


haiii :D

so this chapter was kind of a summary of the whole idea of the story.

you guys don't exactly fully know why Niall is the way he is, but as the story goes along, it will reveal more and more about Niall's 'Outcast' ways.

Aww my gawd i feel so sorry for nialler :(


okaiii so i really hope you guys enjoy this book and i am so psyched to write it :D

ily guysss and stay fabuloOoOoOoOuussss ;) <3

baiii & ill see you in da next chapterr ;)

( that was not literal btw ^ bc obviously i wont visually see you inside my chapter O.o so don't correct me or ill shove a goats dick down your throat okai byeee ;p )


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