Ferret was at home, staring at her brother while he played Clash of Clans and ate his Pop-Tart
like a feral beast. "Maggot! You're disgusting!"
He didn't look up. In fact, he didn't seem to hear her.
Fine, thought Ferret. She stormed into the cozy living room and turned on the Television,
switching to LOST. "Stupid Kate, you do this EVERY TIME!"
Her parents started screaming at Jack, when they heard a knock at the door, and everything
was silent. Her mother stood up and answered it.
"Hello -- " She started, but was soon silenced when a gun went off. Her mother fell limp to the
floor while the bullet somehow managed to ricochet off of the wall and through her father's head
The lunch lady cackled as she pulled a light-saber out from underneath her Superman cape.
"Child, you will give me your trash or I shall take you to my lair!"
"I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MY TRASH, PEASANT!"
The lunch lady's face contorted and transformed into a skinned fish head. The beady eyes
stared down on Ferret the way you would imagine Satan looking at God. So, pretty much, it was hatred.
Ferret fell on the floor and had a seizure, all the while singing, "Your face is like the sun!"
Satan-Lunch-Lady-whose-name-was-really-Ann looked at Ferret in amusement. "Really? How
"IT BURNS MY RETINAS"
Ferret watched in excitement as Satan Ann sprouted giant red claws the size of Voldemort's
nose holes^10. Ann grabbed Ferrets ear with her claw and dragged her out of her house and
down the highway. It was amazing how nobody noticed this little girl being raped by a giant-
Halfway there, Ferret's ear fell off.
Lobster Satan Ann grabbed her other ear. "We're almost there!" she whispered seductively as
they climbed over the Berlin Wall, arriving in Bejing, Mexico.