I came home from school, not that I really have done something today, I almost skipped every class. Then the conversation with Lorie... I mean seriously? Is she serious about this? She fucking left me. She let me down... After everything I did for her, supporting her, been there for her. I have always been her shoulder to cry on, and before Louis, she was my shoulder to cry on. But now... nothing's the same. All her free time, she spends it with Louis, so goodbye Justin! Or what? I feel knocked backward it's like I've been just some person to tell all her shit to and nothing more.
As soon as I got in my room, I grabbed the marijuana that Tyler gave me and sniffed. That's what I needed. I feel a lot better right now, but also guilty, cause I know that I'm on a very wrong path and it's not easy to walk back. The thing is that I really miss Lorie.... but at the other hand, I'm really mad at her for leaving me. "uhuhm.." I heard someone behind me coughing. "I immediately put the drugs back into the drawer next to my bed. "Too late Bieber, I already saw you sniffing." I turned around to see my mom standing in the doorway. "Mom..." I said with a bright smile. "Why? I mean.... Why doing this as you know that I've been through this situation in the past. Why the hell doing this as you know it was hard to get through all this stuff?" She let a tear fall. It hurts so hard, because I know where mom has been through and I don't wanna put her in the same situation as before. "Mom, I'm so sorry. I know I'm doing wrong, I know... But I lost someone who I can't forget. And it's for 2 years now and I'm still not over it. Please understand." I begged. "There's nothing to understand Justin for God sake! I forbade you to do this! And it's not because you feel bad or you're in trouble, or whatever is going on, you just talk about it, do something about it, but this!" Her voice sounded so mad. I've never seen her like this before. "I can't talk about it, because she fucking doesn't know, mom!" I yelled back. "That you love her?" she asked quietly. "Yes." I whispered. "I can't tell her, she seems so happy with Louis, I just can't..." "Then ask her help, ask her to go with us on tour." Mom came sitting next to me and pulled me in for a hug. I began crying, and crying so loudly. Next week I'm going on tour and this all will be over. There's no way she's gonna go with us. Lorie will never leave Louis for me.
"Hye baby, you seem so upset?" We were walking home, yeah I live near school an it actually sucks. "I'm fine." I smiled. "I see you're not fine." He argued. "I'M FINE!!!" I snapped a little louder than I expected. "Okay, okay... See you tomorrow?" Louis asked. "Oh, you're not coming with me?" "Uhm, no I've something to do. I'm sorry." He gave me a quick kiss and then went. Okay, ... Weird. I walked on and thought of Justin. I felt so guilty and I know I've said this too many times and I know I'm whining but I really don't know what to do anymore. I still remember the day I introduced Louis to him ans then suddenly he had to go and when he came in class his eyes were red, as if he had been crying. But why? I mean couldn't he just be happy for me that I finally had a boyfriend? Apparently not.
Just when I was about to unlock the front door I heard a familiar voice shouting my name. I turned around seeing it was Ryan, Justin's best friend. "Hye, Ry!" I gave him a hug. "Hye Lorie, it's been a long time!" He said smiling. He seemed very happy to see me. "Indeed! Way too long!" I said opening the door. I let him in first and then closed the door behind me. "What brings you here?" I asked. "Justin's mom called me. He sniffs marijuana, she told me." My eyes and mouth opened at the same time. "What? I knew he drank and smoked but that he sniffed?" Now I felt more guilty than before. "It's all my fault, Ry. I never should have let him down. He has always been there for me and then the moment I had Louis, I forgot about him. It's all my fault and I have to fix this." I said seriously. "Lor... It's not your fault, it's his choice. It's no one fault when someone gets on the wrong path, it's a choice." We got interrupted by Ry's phone. "It's Justin." he said. "Then pick up." "Hye, Justin!" He answered. "Hye, Ry... mom told me you're in town?" I heard him asking. The phone was on speaker. "yeah, I'm on my way to yours." "kay, see you then." They both hung up. Ry gave me a hug and a kiss on my forehead. "Everything will be alright!" He whispered and then went. I immediately thought of Justin's song. I hope everything will be alright....
I grabbed my bag and phone and went for a walk before mom and dad came home. I walked along the lake and stared at the beautiful bridge where Justin and I played in our childhood. Good old times to remember. A young couple were kissing in the middle of it. So romantic. I smiled to myself when suddenly I became closer and saw that it was Louis with that bitch of the school. My eyes got blurry and before I realized I yelled ass. "Lorie! Wait!" I heard Louis yelling. I ran as fast as I could to Justin's house, it was the only place I could go to right now. His mom is very understanding. I knocked a few times when Pattie opened the door. My eyes were blurry and I was still crying. I actually wasn't sad but relieved. "Louis cheated on me." I said and she immediately pulled me in for a hug. She let me in and mad a hot chocolate for me. She was so sweet. "How do you feel?" She asked. "I don't know why I'm crying but I'm actually not hurt because Louis cheated on me, I rather feel relieved. It's been for a few weeks that it was not going that well between us and we fought a lot.." I sighed. "So what makes you sad then...?" she asked. "I have a huge fight with Justin and it's killing me inside. It's all my fault, if I didn't let him down he never would have sniffed." I said. "It's not your fault, Lorie... It was my stupid brain..." I turned around seeing Justin in tears.
Hiii!!! Finally wrote a longer chapter. I'm sorry that I don't update everyday but I have to say, being a senior.... it's hard! :)
Anyways, here it is, hope
you like it, please let me know, give me some advice, tell what you want to happen in the next chapters... Everything is welcome! :)
-Lise xxxx :)