"The ones who fear the winter"
I watched you slip away from me as the cold days passed.
You have always hated her, and I don't know what made you change
So fast, I didn't see it happen. You poisoned me with hateful glazes and missing words
I saw you disappear into the darkness of your souls again as the snow started to cover the ground
And maybe that's why I never left you even though I know it harmed me
Every Time you threw your burden on me, excepting me to carry it without crashing under it's weight
The winter was long that year. you got struck in the snow and refused to let me pull me up
You led me watch while your heart turned colder than the snow itself
Your veins came to be icy. You screamed so silent that nobody heard it
The freezing numbness took away everything that made you feel alive and left you begging,
Begging for something to feel. Anything, everything, it didn't matter. Some pain at least
You broke your veins to let the ice out, hoping that maybe it would make you feel again
But it didn't. You felt nothing at all, I know that. I could see it in your eyes and still you wouldn't let me in
Or let me try to fix you. Maybe I could have made it better in in someway, we never found out.
I saw you last week. For the first time in months and you looked okay.
You said you were fine and I wanted to believe you with all my heart,
I wanted you to be okay at least, or better! Just a little better then you were in the could winter mornings.
You wrote to me today, asking how I was, taking about school and young love
Nothing special but still I felt sick reading your word. Reminding myself of the time I almost lost you
to the darkness of the winter. I saw it coming as we talked
I ask you how you felt, you said fine and once again I wanted to believe you
I wanted to believe that you had won this war for good.
I wanted you to calm me, hold me and suck the worries out of my speeding mind
We talked a long time, without any of us having the guts to bring it up
Something changed about you, again so sudden, I'm still not quite sure why
But you said it. The words that made my lungs to snap, forced my guts up my throat
Shaking, heaving for air, the time in my room stopped
Unable to speak, I repeated your words in my head. Again. Again. Again.
I felt the numbness which weight you almost cracked under and I wanted to run
Run forever and leave you to drown but you couldn't let me go and now you're dragging me down with you
I can't run from it, I know that. No matter how far I run, your words still haunts me like crying ghosts
"I'm afraid the winter will kill me this year"