Tape - nh

❝Here, a couple pieces of tape will fix it.❞ ❝No, it won't.❞ look for the sequel, Superglue

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24. 22

Chapter Twenty Two, I Feel Weird

x

     You know that feeling you get when you wake up and believe everything that happened the previous day was all apart of your dream, until you realize it wasn't? Yeah, so that's what happened to me when I woke up the next day. My head automatically turned to my desk where the single rose stayed in its vase. I would have just picked up the vase and thrown it against the wall out of frustration, but it held  too much significance that I was still trying to figure out.

     I glanced at the clock after a minute or five and noticed that I had around forty minutes to get ready for school, but I didn't want to. I wanted to stay home and possibly do absolutely nothing while the jumbled gloop Carmen made of my brain sorted itself out. I needed an entire day and weekend away from her and everything to figure out what my next move would be. Going to school would only make me nervous and way too cautious about screwing up.

     Knowing I couldn't simply just stay locked up in my room, I made my way to my parents room at the end of the hall. I figured they would already be awake and gone, but thought I should check in their room to see if maybe my mom was there still getting ready. She could be putting on her shoes as I walk in. Well that's I assumed as I walked right in their room.

     "Can I stay home?" I asked right as I was turning my head and body to face my parents, only to be met with the picture I have feared of and dreaded my entire freaking life.

     "Um, one moment," my mom told me as she desperately tried grasping the bed sheet to cover herself while my dad was bending down beside the bed to pick up his shorts.

     Why I stood frozen and unable to move, I still don't know. My eyes were wide and I was probably stunned beyond recovery, but somehow within a second's timing, I managed to turn around and quickly walk out of my nightmare unscathed. Okay, there was my mind that was incredibly traumatized for the rest of my total existence. I ended up quickly walking out of the room and down the hall until I broke out into a run. I went down the stairs, through the living room and straight to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of water and desperately tried to calm myself down.

     I just saw what every kid hates seeing. I experienced what I had believed I would never experience. I want to fall into a hole and just live there and never see my parents ever again.

     I cannot look at my parents.

     The image, as much as I wanted it to incinerate into nothing as it should, stayed glued to my mind and the whole thing played over and over like a broken record. This must be what the end of the world is like. For some strange reason I thought the world was punishing me for something I did wrong. I thought I was getting a taste of hell to be scared. I only wanted to stay home and figure out what I wanted to do about my feelings towards Carmen. I didn't want to see my parents... in that position.

     Aw, gross!

     I gulped the remaining water down and filled my glass again. I heard footsteps from behind me, but chose to ignore them as I stared out of the kitchen window. Cupboards opened and closed, the fridge was searched through, and things were taken out. My parents were in the kitchen probably making tea and coffee, but I continued drinking water. They were making what had happened even more awkward whether they were trying or not, and I kept praying that we wouldn't have to talk about it at all.

     "Niall?" I heard my mom say and my dad cleared his throat right after. I wanted to fall unconscious right then and there.

     "Yeah?" I answered back, unsure if I wanted to know where this conversation may lead to.

     "If you want to, you may stay home. Uh, your dad and I are taking the day off. You're still grounded, so remember that."

     "You can come with us when we go out for lunch though." my dad added. I was still facing the window and took a sip from my fifth glass of water. Someone save me please.

     "Thanks, but I'll just stay home." I replied, now feeling sick to my stomach. I was sure I was coming down with something and could vomit everywhere if given the chance.

     "Yeah, okay. Do you want me to make you breakfast?" my mom asked so sweetly, but thinking of her touching my food made the urge to puke real. I downed the rest of my glass and shook my head.

     "No, but thanks."

     "Okay." And just like that, it fell silent between us.

     "Why did you want to stay home?" my dad asked and I internally groaned and cursed him out.

     "Because I woke up not feeling in the right state of mind for school. I'm supposed to have a test today, but I'm definitely not going to be able to focus on it if I go."

     "But now you're missing school. Can you make it up?" my mom asked sounding worried now.

     "Yes, of course I can. I would've just went to school otherwise." I bit my tongue after because the last part was a lie.

     "Alright, fine. I'm going to have breakfast now and then get ready. There are some errands I have to take care of, but I should be home around three."

     "And I'm going with your mom."

     "Okay, and I'm just going to stay home. I'll probably be on my X-Box when you guys come home."

     "You're going to make sure you get your homework and work on it, right? You're not just going to sit here and play video games all through the day and weekend."

     "Yes, mom, I know that."

     "Good. Now make yourself breakfast and stop drinking so much water. You're making me want to use bathroom."

     "Actually, I'm not hungry. I'll see ya guys later."

     I didn't even bother to wait for a response from my mom or dad, I just walked out of the kitchen and through the living again. I walked up the stairs instead of running, but took two at a time. I wondered to myself as I went to my to my room if the weird feeling and awkwardness will ever go away with my parents. Will I ever be able to look at them again without picturing that appalling scene? Will I be able to look them in the eye without feeling sick from what I accidentally walked in on?

     I sat at my desk with phone on my hands. staring at that freaking rose like it had the answer to all my problems and more. I felt like talking about what I stood witness too, but then didn't want to because I wanted the memory to be freaking forgotten about forever. Has this ever happened to Adrian? Stupid idiot, I bet it has. So I sent him a text saying that I wasn't going to school and I needed to talk to him.

    

     Adrian: what do you want from me?

                      some people actually go to school and want to learn

     Me: THE WORST THING HAPPENED TO ME THIS MORNING

              I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN

              I'M RUNNING AWAY AND NEVER LOOKING BACK

     Adrian: drama queen

                      what happened?!

                      and if you run, I'm following bro

     Me: no

              it's a journey I must take myself

              AND I WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS

              OMFG

              I WANT MY EYES AND BRAIN RIPPED OUT

     Adrian: what did you walk in on?

                      them changing?

                      making out?

     Me: smh

              why do I talk to you???

              THEY WERE IN BED WITH NO CLOTHES

              NEED I GO ON?!!!!

     Adrian: ooohhhh

                       . . .

                       that sucks

                       tbh, I bet your mom's hot tho

     Me: I'm going to kill you

     Adrian: jk jk jk jkkkkk

                      calm down

                      no need for a killing spree

                      let's just talk it out buddy

     Me: I'm dying inside

     Adrian: it's normal

                      I was like 7 when I saw my parents

     Me: oh my jfc

     Adrian: dude I was 7

                       I got over it

                       everyone does

     Me: so that's why you're like that

     Adrian: WHAT

                        ???

     Me: how come you never said anything to me?

     Adrian: we were 7

                       I had no idea wtf I saw man

                       my parents said they were exercising

                       I dropped it

     Me: oh my god

              I'm out

              I'm done

              I am

              DONE

     Adrian: CALM DOWN

                      IT'S NBD

                      YOU SEE IT AND MOVE ON

                      LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS AND THAT EVERYBODY THESE DAYS DOES IT

     Me: THEY ARE MY PARENTS

              THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SAINTS

              I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM

              THEIR DOOR WAS FREAKING OPEN

              OMFG THEY WERE GONNA DO IT WHILE I WAS GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL

              BYE

              I'M OUT

     Adrian: awe man

                       that sucks bad

                       I'm sorry

                       shall I prepare your funeral?

     Me: yeah

     Adrian: you know you think you're scarred for life

                      but really you're gonna forget all about it tomorrow

     Me: THE IMAGE WONT LEAVE

     Adrian: THEN STOP THINKING ABOUT IT STUPID

     Me: I can't

     Adrian: why'd you miss school today anyway?

                       bc of this?

     Me: no

              last night Carmen gave me a rose

     Adrian: WHAT

                      OH MY GOD

                      I'M LIKE CRYING TEARS OF JOY

                      GO CARMEN!!!

                      THANK YOU GURL FOR MAKING THE FIRST MOVE

                      YESSSSSSSSS

                      I KNEW IT

                      DAMN PETER OWES ME FIFTY SMH

                      BUT CONGRATS BROTHER

                       I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

                       I'LL PLAN YOUR WEDDING

                       I'M THINKING DECEMBER

                       OR JANUARY

     Me: can you takes caps lock off???

              and stop it

              she gave it to me as a thank you gift

              she was nervous though

              idk why a rose and it's bugging me!!

              also

              I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED

     Adrian: okay okAy

                      giving it as a thank you gift was probably her excuse

                      she likes you man

                      she totally likes you

                      trust me

                      she likes you

     Me: saying it over and over doesn't make it real

     Adrian: trust me

     Me: I honestly don't

     Adrian: just this once do it

     Me: don't use those words again

     Adrian: shit

                      sorry

                      but srsly

     Me: idk

              it's why I'm not going to school

              I'm trying to decide my next move

              should I even make one?

     Adrian: I'M SORRY BUT I'M SO HAPPY YOU ARE ADMITTING TO ME YOU LIKE HER

                      I BET I'M THE ONLY ONE YOU TOLD

                      I FEEL SO BLESSED RN

     Me: this why you were never told!!!

     Adrian: ouch

                       that hurts

     Me: get over it

     Adrian: you should totally ask her out

     Me: that's the stupidest thing you've said

              srsly

     Adrian: don't overthink it

                      maybe give her a rose or a flower too?

     Me: but what is my excuse going to be?

     Adrian: that the rose looked as pretty as her so you had to give it to her

                       idk

                      think of something

     Me: no I can't do that

     Adrian: I'm not going to bounce ideas back and forth

                      I ain't got time for that

                      class is gonna start

     Me: she's probably in art wondering where I am

     Adrian: yeah...

                      okay

                      sure

     Me: ???

     Adrian: saw her with the twins and Gavin today

     Me: Gavin?

              Harry's friend?

     Adrian: that's the one

                      they were talking and stuff in the morning

     Me: you're kidding?!

     Adrian: nope

     Me: that sob

     Adrian: idk if it was like that

     Me: it had to have been like that

     Adrian: she seemed happy

     Me: she didn't ask where I was???

              she hasn't even texted me

              oh my god

              I'M FRIEND ZONED

              I'M ONLY HER FRIEND

              I'M RUNNING AWAY

              BYE ADRIAN

              LOVE YOU BRO

              PEACE

     Adrian: hey!

                      wait a minute

                      rewind

                      you're not friend zoned

                     the twins probably just introduced her

     Me: she already knows him and Harry's friends

              the twins are pretty good friends with Harry's friends

     Adrian: then it was probs just friendly convo

                       take a chill pill bro

     Me: I've died inside

              I'm just a shell of a human now

              I've gone to hell today

              I'm living in my own personal hell

     Adrian: Niall

                       take a deep breath, okay?

                       breathe in

                       breathe out

                       breathe in

                       breathe out

                       now pick up your remote and play whatever CD is in your player

                       listen to the song

                       focus on the lyrics

                       and relax

                       you're not in hell

                       I'm by your side buddy

                       we ain't there yet

                       and you're not leaving me

                       we've been friends forever

                       you ain't slipping that easy

                       I'll see you after school whether your parents like it or not

                       text me if you need anything

                       love you brother ❤️

    

     I ended up doing as Adrian had said. I set my phone down, took two deep breaths, and played the CD that was in the player. I tried listening and focusing on it, but I couldn't. I kept thinking about the stupid rose that stared back at me on my desk. I kept thinking about Carmen, Gavin, and what I should do. I felt like doing nothing. I wanted to do nothing. My mind was unraveling, thoughts running everywhere, and mayhem breaking out. I wanted everything to disappear. I wanted to experience one day that was normal.

     But by then, I couldn't even define what normal was. As I thought about how I reached that moment and stared at that rose as it mocked me, my phone buzzed indicating I received another text.

    

     Carmen: Art is not the same without you

                        What happened today?

                        Do you not want to take our history test?

     Me: ummm, not really

              it's nothing

     Carmen: Ditcher

     Me: my parents approved

     Carmen: Liar

    

     I smiled at our thread of texts and couldn't help but think how Carmen saved me in more ways than one and she would never know.

    

     Me: it was half a lie

              and it worked so

     Carmen: Well, you have a painting due on Friday for art

                         It has to be a portrait

     Me: of myself?

     Carmen: It can be anyone

                         And he emphasized creativity

     Me: who are you doing one of?

    

     I couldn't help but imagine her painting Gavin with this bright smile on her face. I'd rip Gavin's face off if I could.

  

     Carmen: I haven't decided yet

                        Want to do each other?

                         It would be easier seeing the other person

                         And I would rather not do myself or someone in my family

                         If you want to

     Me: I'd like that a lot tbh

     Carmen: Cool

                         I mean great, thanks!

     Me: you wouldn't mind telling me everything I missed today?

     Carmen: Of course I'm going to

     Me: thanks (:

     Carmen: No problem (:

     Me: you're texting in class

              are you bored??

     Carmen: Yes!

                        Chris has officially moved next to Michelle

                         I'm all alone

     Me: ):

              I'm sorry I ditched you

     Carmen: (:

                         It's okay

                         Crap, gotta go

                         Talk later?

     Me: definitely

    

The smile on my face couldn't have been bigger and was one I didn't think I would wear that day. A part of me questioned the art assignment and if it was an actual assignment. But then I questioned why Carmen would lie to me about something like that. None of that mattered though. I could not repress the feeling I had for her any longer. I really liked Carmen. She gave me a freaking rose, so maybe she likes me too. It's worth a shot.

     I had forgotten all about my traumatizing morning, surprisingly, and when my parents came to my room to say bye, I told them to have fun. I decided to spend my day texting Adrian and Carmen periodically. I felt weird as I thought about Monday coming up and what I would do when I would see Carmen. That weird feeling was the best and I couldn't complain, nor did I want it to go away either.

x

so like, I kinda had writer's block or whatever and I REALLY DONT WANNA talk about how the idea sparked for this chapter. I'm sorry if it sucks and I'm sorry that it is way overdue ): it's late like Niall's library books (ba-dum-tis)

oh and just so you know where I get the personalities for all the characters in Tape:
Niall- a multitude of guys I knew in high school. like some were the guys I went to junior high with. they could be real jerks, but tbh they were some of the nicest guys I knew
Carmen- a combination of a few very good friends I had
Samantha- tbh, the only girls I disliked who picked on me in elementary and junior high---- but one of the girls from elementary ended up going to my high school and we had quite a few classes together. it was awkward for me. and honestly, these girls were "popular" and their reputation blinded their true selves from everyone
Adrian- more very good friends, but my guy friends
Peter- he's all the funny moments I've shared with my friends combined
Harry- okay, so I knew some quiet people who were shy and quite passive. I was one of them, in a way, but he's all those people
Christopher and Mikey (the twins)- I actually knew four sets of twins (3 male and 1 female) and had to include a pair. I guess you can say they are based off two of the male pairs who were a good friends of mine

so there's some facts for ya (:

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