Chapter Seventeen, I suck
So, unfortunately Samantha did not get ran over by a bus. I found out the next day in the morning that she was perfectly fine because her lips were glued to Peter's. I absolutely despise mornings- they're my arch enemies if it still hasn't been made clear. I was kind of hoping Samantha and Peter would have made out in the middle of the street instead for the chance that a bus seriously would run them both over. As I've said before, the world is against me and I had to endure the next seven hours of school with their presence. To say I strongly, passionately disliked Samantha was a complete understatement; it was so much more than that.
Art class was a bore, much more so because I still sat behind Carmen and Christopher. I was forced to watch them laugh and giggle every now and then. I was kind of hoping I could switch places with Christopher so it could be me laughing with Carmen. The next two classes were a bore as well, because I had neither with Carmen and was alone. The classes gave me time to think back to Samantha and the previous day- minus the talk I had with Greg. I had taken note of the fact that in the morning and during passing periods, I heard people whispering and talking more than usual. I couldn't help but feel like everyone was talking about Carmen and it was all Samantha's fault. That's why I wished I could sit next to her and have her for every class. I just wanted to comfort her.
But then lunch rolled around and I was left with stupid Adrian. I had talked to him on the phone and he had told me that rumors about Carmen were already spreading. The question was if everyone believed them or not. I hoped people wouldn't believe a single word that left Samantha's mouth, but that was asking too much from people I don't care about. Bad enough Peter and Samantha are together, I also had to endure the fact that people were gossiping about a girl I truly admired way more than what was considered normal or healthy. Having the opportunity to send someone texts is an amazing thing, so I had sent her a text that read something like don't smile too big today because you can blind people. Maybe that was a bad idea.
Adrian was currently trying to open a bag of carrots while I picked at what was supposed to be a salad. Really it was just lettuce with like two cherry tomatoes, three pieces of red onion, and for some reason grated cheddar cheese. How healthy and satisfying. I finally gave up and went for my apple while Adrian popped open his bag of carrots, spilling a few pieces.
"So, uh, how are you?" Adrian asked as he picked up the carrots that had fallen on him and put them in his mouth. It was kind of gross, but I was used to him and his eating habits.
"I'm good, I guess." I shrugged and took a bite of my apple.
"Are you sure? Samantha is desperately trying to destroy Carmen, who you secretly love. Must suck bad."
"I don't secretly love her, idiot. Of course I'm pissed, but I can't really do anything at the moment. I told you yesterday."
"Yeah, and I could only get in a few words before you said you had to go and hung up."
"So, the Niall I know would be pissed beyond real right now and would want to snap Samantha in half, though he'd be even more frustrated because of his respect for girls."
"I do respect girls. Can't be a man if you can't be a gentleman." I pointed my finger at him with the hand that held my apple. I took another bite of my apple as he rolled his eyes too dramatically.
"Your dad said that once."
"Best advice he's given so far." And it was true since my dad never really had a decent talk with me other than to tell me he's disappointed with my actions.
"Okay, this is getting off topic. Why are you acting weird today?"
"It's nothing." I tried to brush off casually without giving anything away. I'd be lying if I said I wanted to 'talk about my feelings' with him.
"Bruh, I know you. You can't play me."
"I find it hard to believe I call you my best friend. Just eat your food." I attempted to deadpan.
"The only food that is edible are the carrots, the apple, and the chips- okay, stop it. What's up?"
"The sky is always up."
"You seriously need to stop taking things so literal all the time. It's not funny."
"I'm good. What about you?" I tried at my final attempt to make him drop the subject by answering his question and adverting the subject away from me.
"Great, Brandy and I are official."
"Oh, nice! I'm glad, bud."
Adrian smiled and finally accepted the change of topic. He started to ramble off about Brandy and somewhere along the way I lost him. I ate my apple and let my eyes wonder the area. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I missed having Peter around and hearing him and Adrian argue. It made them seem stupider, but was so funny. Sometimes I'd join in and we would all start making fun of each other. We'd end up laughing afterwards and now I'm reminiscing on good times. Oh how wonderful- not. Thankfully for Peter's sake, I didn't see him anywhere around. I looked back at Adrian and found that he was too caught up in his spiel that he hadn't realized I wasn't paying attention.
"Hey guys!" I heard a chirpy girl's voice that had my ears perk at the sound. I turned my head as Adrian finally shut up to see Carmen reaching the table with an effortless smile or a halfhearted one.
"Hi Carmen." Adrian greeted her. I just stared at her for some reason. I hadn't talked to her yet today, being that she was more invested in Christopher's humorous side in art. I could've just said hello or something now like Adrian, but I was stupefied. I blame my increase in heart rate when my eyes first landed on her.
"Can I join?" She asked as if there was the possibility we would send her away. As if.
"Of course, I was just telling Niall about Brandy." Adrian told her. She nodded and sat beside me, giving me my very own smile. Finally coming out of some sort of hypnotic trance, I smiled back. Something in my mood and behavior changed with her being beside me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but if licking my finger and holding it up like when testing the wind's direction would have worked, I would have done it without hesitation.
"How are you?" Carmen asked me and I realized I couldn't just sit there mute as if I had no voice. I cursed myself for acting like the biggest idiot around her and gave her this weird and goofy smile. Something is wrong with me. I probably need a nurse.
"Good, uh, yeah." I nodded my head and continued to smile. She gave me a strange look but smiled anyways.
"Carmen, he's a liar." Adrian said and I remembered he was there, but then I tried to remember when I forgot he was sitting right across from me. Nonetheless, I glared at him.
"Go shove your face in a bee hive." I told him, earning a hard nudge from Carmen. For a second, I thought she knew about Adrian's allergy to bees.
"That's mean and pretty vivid." I shrugged at her since those are the usual insults we use with each other. We've said way worse anyways, or at least I have.
"It's nothing, really." I assured her and went back to glaring at Adrian who gave a smug smile.
"Are you really good?" Carmen asked, bringing back the topic I didn't want to discuss with Adrian. There's no escaping it, but at least Adrian and her are really concerned about me which is nice.
"How are you?" I asked seriously. Memories of the texts Samantha sent last night and all the events crept into my mind. There's a chance Carmen is purposefully not being honest with me and I wouldn't blame her.
"I'm perfectly well, but I asked you."
"I'm fabulous." I said and smirked because I wanted to see her roll her eyes at me. She did and I smiled.
"Have you had any problems with anyone today?" I still couldn't help but ask. If Samantha was seriously trying to spread rumors about her, it wouldn't be surprising to find someone tried to bother her.
"No, should I?" I quickly shook my head.
"Okay, but I can't help but feel something really bad is going to happen soon. It's unsettling. I told Chris and Mike, but they weren't so reassuring. I think they made it worse." She had looked down at the table now and I frowned.
"Nothing bad will happen."
"Butt face." I heard her mumble, and Adrian must have too because he snickered.
"I'm being honest."
"You don't have that feeling?" Yes, I've had it all morning.
"You're a terrible liar."
"Am not." I defended because I really was a good one. I lie to my parents successfully, well sometimes until they find out the truth.
"I can't help but feel like people are talking about me."
"They probably are." I admitted without thinking and regretted it.
"I want to fall into a black hole and be crushed into a million pieces so small, not even the best microscope in the world could find me."
"Carmen, that's ridiculous because I'd still find you." She looked up at me finally with such a confused face that I chuckled. "You could force me a trillion miles away and I'd still be able to see you. You sorta stick out like a sore thumb." She tried to glare at me but ended up smiling and then laughing.
"You make it hard to not like you and like you at the same time."
"That's good enough for me."
"You're such a loser."
"Yeah, and I'm an idiot, stupid, weird, a freak, dumb, a jerk-"
"I'm glad you're admitting these things finally." Carmen cut me off.
"You set me up for that one. That's not fair." She laughed and it was like she was never upset before.
"It was good."
"No, you do. You were just about to say you did, too." I didn't say anything because she was right.
"Awe, you guys are so cute." Adrian mused. I looked at him the same time Carmen did.
"Go drink a bottle of acid." Carmen told him and that did it for me. I couldn't help but uncontrollably laugh and think how utterly amazing she is. I probably sounded like I was a dying elephant, but whatever.
"You're like those chocolate covered crickets." Adrian said back. His face was flushed from embarrassment which only made me continue to laugh at him.
"Thanks, I love them." Adrian's eyes grew wide and my laughter quickly died as I stared at her too. I must have been stupid since I didn't recognize her sarcasm.
"Disgusting! You're just like Niall." Adrian said with his face contorted into a look of disgust. In my opinion, he made himself look uglier.
"Wait, ew, I was just joking! I never had one. Oh my god, so you really like them?" Carmen asked me with a sickened face.
"Don't knock it until you've tried it. They're tasty and have a nice crunch to them." Carmen made the weirdest, inhumane sounds at that. I think she was trying to fake gag, but I still found myself chuckling.
"You are a freaking sicko."
"That's a new one."
"Ugh, I feel sick."
"You're being such a girl right now." I rolled my eyes at how much she was exaggerating the new fact about me. It's not that big of a deal. I don't go walking around with a three pound bag of them or secretly stash them in places no one will ever find them like I have some abnormal obsession.
"Really, because I am not a girl."
"I dare you to try one."
"No!" Carmen shouted and scooted a good four inches away from me like I admitted I had a horrible runny nose.
"I triple-dog dare you, no dare-dog back, to eat a chocolate covered cricket." I smirked, knowing that she knew that she couldn't refuse anymore or dare me to do something unequally disgusting.
"I hate you."
"I call witness!" Adrian added, eagerly wanting to participate. Carmen groaned.
"It's not bad, I promise. You won't die."
"My taste buds will."
I don't know what had happened, but something did that caused the next words to be blurted out and the most idiotic thing to take place in the history of time and space.
"We should trick Samantha into eating them." Carmen said.
I hugged Carmen. I couldn't help it and can't remember exactly what I had been feeling that sparked me to do it, but I did. I just sort of enveloped her in my arms and held her close and I possibly kissed her head- I have no recollection whatsoever. I was in some sort of high and I felt like we were in the sky floating with the clouds. I was really happy. Maybe too happy. It wasn't awkward in the slightest and I had no regrets once she hugged me back and giggled. Oh my gosh did she really giggle? She actually did. Wow, that was probably the best moment to have ever happened ever. She is undoubtedly the most amazing person in the entire world and universe and I couldn't believe she was the one to suggest the perfect idea.
"You're amazing I breathed." I pulled away, still holding her at arm's length.
"You okay?" Carmen asked with an eyebrow raised.
"I've never felt this great." I honestly told her as I continued to stare in her eyes. I never noticed what a nice brown they were. Brown is such an ugly color but she makes it look wonderful.
"Did I do something?" She asked. I had realized then that I was acting totally out of my norm, especially because I had the dorkiest grin on my face.
"No, sweetheart, it's what you said. You incredibly smart person, you are my all-time favorite person."
"I don't- oh, oh boy," She breathed and looked away before looking back at me. "You seriously want to do that?"
"We have to. Just... just picture it in your head. That's the best prank ever, even Louis will be applauding us."
"Louis?" She questioned.
"You know, he's a senior and everyone- never mind, I'm not explaining. Damn, I could kiss you." My eyes widened at what I admitted. I thought they were going fall out and I swear my face was so hot, I thought I was going to have a heat stroke.
Without another moment to pass, I was standing up and swinging my backpack over my shoulder. It felt like it took me an hour to leave, but really I was walking so fast that it took me minutes to escape the awkwardness I so idiotically created because I am a freaking idiot. And oh my god, I think she knows I like her. She's not going to talk to me anymore and I just screwed everything up. I don't know if this was karma coming back at me for disliking so many people- the entire population of the world- but I hated only myself then as I tried to convince myself that this was a nightmare that involved Carmen.
And this was the time I thought I crushed my own world instead of some useless nobody who was insignificant to me and maybe Carmen didn't turn it upside down after all. Why would I say such stupid things? I am clearly stupid. Worst. Day. Of. My. Life. I should receive an award for this.
tbh, I knew a guy who liked chocolate covered scorpions or the candied ones and I think he liked the crickets too. safe to say I thought he was weird before I knew he liked eating bugs in sugar
so any thoughts so far? like really, any questions or comments of concern? I feel the end is coming up, just saying