"Well that was an awful get away" I say, walking through the front door of the house.
"Hey, it could be worse. At least we weren't in the middle of a shopping center or anything" Liam says.
Harry and Niall run in the room, Niall with a slice of pizza in his mouth. I swear, one day that boy is gonna choke if he runs around like that.
"HERGURGLEFUH!" Niall exclaims, pizza still in mouth.
I walk up to him and snatch the pizza. "Say that again?"
"I saidddd" He begins, taking the pizza back. "What did the doctor say?"
"Yea, are you okay? We thought you'd be home earlier than this" Harry adds.
I look at my nonexistent watch, look at the clock in the kitchen. It's 3:30 already? We left around eleven.
"I've got a few broken ribs and bruises on my leg and arm, but nothing that major. I'm not dying or anything" I answer them, and they let out the breath they were holding in while anticipating my response.
"That's good, but you'll have to be careful then" Harry says. I'll try to be careful but honestly i'm probably one of the clumsiest people on Earth.
"Oh and so you can annoy her as well as us, she has to take her meds three times a day, once with each meal" Louis says. Take my meds? He's making it seem as if i'm on crazy pills or something.
"Also, she can't get her bandages wet, so no buckets of water on top of the doors for a while" Zayn says casually. That's one less prank i'll have to be afraid of I guess. I have a feeling there will be many more, though.
"I am STARVING" I announce.
"Me too" Niall agrees, finishing his slice of pizza.
"You just ate though?" I say, seriously wondering how much this guy weights, cause where does all the food go? The world may never know...
"So? I'm like the Hulk but with food instead of anger- i'm always hungry" He responds.
"Nice Avengers reference. You're my new favorite" I say to him, smiling widely. The Avengers is my favorite movie. Hey! There's something i've remembered. I'm getting better, then.
"Wait! Who was your favorite before him?" Louis asks me.
"Zayn" I say. "He saved me from being roadkill, that counts for something. Thought that was obvious."
"So i'm no longer your favorite because I didn't make a movie reference, but I saved your life?" Zayn asked, making it sound like more of a statement than a question.
"Yep" I answer him. Probably not the answer he was looking for, but oh well that's the answer he's gonna get. "If you make me food you might get bumped up to favorite though..." I teased him.
"We've done enough cooking for today, right Harry?" Zayn says, but Harry doesn't respond. "Harry...?"
"Huh? What?" Harry says, snapping out of whatever trance he was in.
"I say we get fast food. ALL IN FAVOR RAISE YOUR HANDS" Louis announces and all hands are raised except I keep mine down. They all look at me with mixed emotions of confusion and suspicion.
"What?" I respond to their strange looks. "I thought I didn't get a say since of the huddle at the doctors." I turn around crossing my arms, trying to keep a straight face.
"You're not seriously mad about that are you? We would've asked you I guess but..." Liam trails on and Harry and Niall look completely lost. I should explain but i'm too lazy and I don't have time seeing as Liam's going into mental distress, looking at his feet and mumbling. Louis and Zayn seem unaffected by my joking, probably because they understood that it was a joke, but Liam is a different story.
"Liam?" I say walking up to him and tapping on his lowered head. He looks up to me and he looks like a kicked puppy. I instantly feel awful.
"Liam I was only kidding! Don't look so sad, you're making me upset just by looking sad" I say, trying to cheer him up.
"Oh. I knew that" He recovers and shows a cheeky smile. That's much better.
"ON A LESS SERIOUS NOTE: I'm thinking McDonalds. ALL IN FAVOR?" Louis announces again, and all hands are up this time, including both of mine.
"I for see a problem in your futureeeee" I say in a creepy ghost voice. Naw, I like my regular voice better. "We're not all going to fit into the car."
They ponder at this dilemma for a moment and then offer solutions. Pretty bad solutions, so I shoot most of them down.
"We could ride llamas into the sunset?"
"We could pay a cab driver to go get it for us?"
"NO HARRY. And I don't think you'd find a cabby who'd actually do that for you"
"We could just make something else at home."
"NO LIAM. I have my heart set on fast food."
"We could take separate cars?"
"NOW THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, NIALL" I say. "But how are we going to say who goes with who?"
"I CALL JADE!" Louis yells.
"Nuh uh! What about me? I didn't get to go anywhere with her yet, it's my turn!" Niall argues.
"Hey me either, but you don't see me complaining" Harry chimes in.
"LADIES LADIES CONTROL YOURSELVES" I say, breaking up the squabbling. "This time i'll go with Harry and Niall since I went with the rest of you earlier."
"Fine" Liam says, admitting defeat.
"BUT NEXT TIME IT'S MY TURN" Zayn demands. We'll see about that.
"Oh hush. We have groups, so lets go! I want food!" I shout and run to the door. I jump outside to notice two things.
1.) It's freezing and raining and I don't even have a jacket on.
And 2.) I have no idea which car is Niall and/or Harry's.
I run back into the house like a crazy person, which I really shouldn't do if I ever want this leg to heal.
"Can I borrow someone's jacket?" I ask.
"Here ya go" Niall says, grabbing a hoodie off the coat rack and handing it to me. I put it on and instantly feel warmer.
"Thanks Niall!" I say. "This is why he's my favorite."
"GROUP HUDDLE!" Louis yells, well all huddle up but suddenly i'm pushed out.
"No girls" Zayn says.
"Girls are icky" Liam comments
"Thanks guys. Love you, too" I respond sarcastically. Sarcasm is basically half of whatever comes out of my mouth every second of every day of every year...
"AWW SHE LOVES US! Never mind then, huddle dismissed" Louis shouts.
"What? It's over just like that? What were you even talking about?" I ask, getting irritated, but mostly very confused.
"Nothing you need to know" Niall says to me.
"AND TO THINK YOU WERE MY FAVORITE!" I yell and they look shocked, surprisingly.
'WHO IS YOUR NEW FAVORITE THEN?" Louis asks VERY LOUDLY GOSH MY EARDRUMS.
"Harry. Harry is nice" I say and Harry smirks and Louis gets on the ground and bows to him.
"Teach me your ways oh holey favorite one..." Louis chants, and continues bowing on his knees to Harry. What is wrong with these people?
"Oh hush Louis, lets all just go before I die of starvation" I say, lifting him up by the collar of his jean jacket and dragging him out of the house. The other boys just follow exchanging amused looks.
"NIALL" I yell, letting go of Louis. Niall slowly jogs his way over to catch up to me.
"Yea?" He says.
"Which one is your car?" I ask. There are three cars, so I assume a couple of them share.
"Oh, Harry and my car is the yellow Jeep" He says and points to the car closest to the road.
"What are you waiting for?" Harry says, running up to me. He's not slowing down... should I move out of the way? No he'll stop, he wouldn't run straight into me he obviously knows i'm here, but he's looking straight at me. "LETS GO!" He yells as he scoops me up in his arms and runs off with me to the car.
"HARRY WHAT THE FUDGE NUGGET PUT ME DOWN" I yell at him because he's obviously lost his mind.
"Not until you shout 'Harry is a sexy beast' so the others can hear from up the hill" He whispers in my ear. My leg in starting to hurt and I know he's NOT going to put me down unless I do. Here goes nothing.
"HARRY IS A SEXY BEAST" I yell at the rest of the boys. They look very disturbed at my sudden outburst, and honestly, so am I.
"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE 27 CHILDREN" Harry yells to the rest of them. I can't help but laugh at their reactions. Louis is laughing hysterically, Liam's face is flushed, Niall looks like he's going to he sick, and Zayn is just giving Harry a very annoyed glare. "SHE'S ALREADY 3 MONTHS PREGNANT, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TWINS!"
I think that crossed the line because the boys come marching down the hill looking very capable of murder at the moment.
"Harry put me down and run!" I say to him, his eyes getting wide as he comprehends what i'm saying. "They're going to kill you!"
"Oh crap" He says and the boys are only about three feet away. I feel a sudden falling sensation and see Harry running for dear life in the corner of my eye. The bastard dropped me. This all happens in a matter of seconds and I brace for impact, but it never comes. I unsquint my eyes and realize someone caught me. I look up and see Louis looking at me with with wide eyes.
"Are you alright?!" He asks, in a shockingly quiet voice.
"Yeah i'm fine, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost" I respond. His face is really pale and he's tense, but when he sees my concern, I can feel him relax.
"It's fine, you just scared me, that's all" He says, and puts me down gently. He starts to walk off. WAIT WHERE IS HE GOING? He's just leaving me?
"Where are you going?" I say, walking to catch up to him.
"To kill Harry" He responds casually, as if it's a regular thing.
"It was just a joke, i'm not really pregnant. It's a bit impossible seeing as i've only known you guys for less than 24 hours" I say, trying to calm him down, but he seems calm already. But not the good kind of calm. The determined to kill kind of calm.
"I understand that, but he dropped you. You could've been hurt if I didn't catch you. The boys were'nt going to hurt him at first, they just wanted to scare him. But after he dropped you and ran, attempting to save himself, he must pay the price" He responds as if it was a line out of a movie. Probably is, just a movie I haven't seen.
"Kill him later! Get a happy meal first and then see if you're still up for murder, okay?" I say and he stops and looks at me, and I stare back.
"Fine" He says, giving in. Yay. I always win. "BOYS!!" He yells and the boys come out of their hiding places with paintball guns. Where did they get those? I bet they have them stashed around the yard in random places. Zayn comes out of his hiding spot by hanging from his legs upside-down in a tree to the left of the house, Liam comes out by jumping out of a bush, tripping, and falling down face first into the grass. That of course caused Zayn to start laughing, lose his balance, and fall out of the tree, upside-down, straight onto his head.
Niall and Harry are nowhere to be found. I am extremely concerned for Harry's life, because Niall is hungry and angry, and that is NOT a good combination. I know from experience, I almost killed a hot dog vender once. Hey, thats another memory! Not a very pleasant one...
Louis sprints to the backyard, me hobbling behind him, and we come face to face with Harry laying face-down on the ground, with Niall sitting on the small of his back, bouncing up and down.
I'm trying not to laugh, but if you saw this, wouldn't you?
"There she is!" Niall greets me, stops bouncing, and then looks down to Harry. "Apologize, fool"
"I'm sorry, Jade"
"For what?" Niall questions him. Harry turns his head to look at me and grins.
"For impregnating you"
I can see the fury in Louis and Niall's eyes. It's kind of scary and attractive at the same time.
"WRONG ANSWER" Niall says, standing up and running over to Louis, whispering something in his ear. Louis smiles sinisterly. Oh god, what are they planning now? They walk back over to Harry, who has sat up but not fully recovered yet.
"I'll get his arms, you get his legs?" Louis asks Niall, who nods with and evil smirk on his face.
Louis grabs Harry's arms and Niall grabs his legs, and three swings back and forth later, the poor unsuspecting Harry is thrown into the pool. I didn't even notice the pool until just now. I had other things on my mind, like if Harry would live through this.
After a couple of seconds, Harry resurfaces and lifts himself onto the concrete outline of the pool. He stands up and looks like a cat who's been thrown in a bath. Which describes him perfectly, I guess.
Liam and Zayn come around the corner, Liam seeming unharmed by the plush grass he fell onto, but Zayn is a different story. He's holding his head and is walking funny, meaning he's probably dizzy. I walk over and put his arm around my good shoulder, stablizing him.
"Hows your head?" I ask him.
"Well i'm alright but Harry looks like death"
All very true. I think it's time for me to take charge before things get even more out of hand. Like that's even possible, but with them, I'm sure it is.
"OKAY LADIES" I yell, making Zayn wince. Oops. I got their attention, though?
"HARRY: Go dry off inside. Revenge is not the answer. LOUIS AND NIALL: Come with me. Your punishment comes later. LIAM: Go put the paintball guns away. Someone could trip over them. Or trip over nothing like you did. ZAYN: Go to the kitchen i'll be there in just a bit after dealing with these two idiots" I say, finishing my orders, but they all just stand there and look at me.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? GO!" I shout, and they all run in different directions, (AHA BUT THEY'RE ONE DIRECTION SEE WHAT I DID THERE sorry get back to the story now T-T) with Niall and Louis walking over to me, looking regretful.
"Hey, don't look like that. He totally deserved it. I'm naming my unborn twins after you" I say, trying to lighten their spirits. I AM SUCCESSFUL! They jerk their heads up and look at me with shock. Probably thought I was going to nag them about 'Treat others how you want to be treated/Violence is not the answer' or something like that. But that's not how I roll. I applaud violence, it's hilarious. That's why I love hockey so much. Or do I... I think I do? Amnesia is a bitch.
"Gimme some sugar" I say lifting my hands up and we high five. Walking into the house I tell them to go into the living room until further notice. I stand by the stairs trying to remember where the kitchen is. I can't believe i'm getting lost in a house. A HOUSE. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to think of where on earth the kitchen could possibly be in this giant house until my thoughts are broken with the sound of a familiar voice.
"Hey, Jade" I hear Harry say, coming down the stairs. I look over the him and instantly regret it. He's standing there in a towel. JUST A TOWEL. AS IN NOTHING ELSE.
"HARRY WHAT THE HELL PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" I yell, and my knights in shining armor (retards in tin foil), Niall and Louis, come to the rescue. But they aren't the brightest.
Louis takes his shirt off and throws it at Harry, and Niall takes his pants off and throws them at Harry. Harry just takes their clothes and walks upstairs.
"That worked but wasn't very helpful for the two of you" I say turning to face them. Big mistake. Louis has got some serious abs and I'm pretty sure he noticed me staring. And on the other hand we have Niall...
"Nice superman boxers, Niall" I say to the blushing leprechaun, then walk away, attempting to find the kitchen.
After wandering around for a couple minutes, I finally find it.
"What took you so long?" Zayn asked me. Well let me tell you.
"They were half naked and I got lost and abs and superman..." I ramble on with my current thoughts for a while until he stops me.
"Wait, did you just say 'they were half naked'? Who was?" Zayn asks, weirded out by my outburst. Who wouldn't be?
"All but Liam" I respond.
"Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not" I say, smiling so maybe he'll drop the topic of half-nakedness so I can get Louis' abs out of my head. Curse all these guys for being so attractive.
"Anyway, why did you want to meet in the kitchen?" He asked me.
"I figured if your head still hurt, there'd be ice in here" I said.
"Oh, well I feel fine now, probably just gonna have a little bump there for a couple days" He says.
"That's good" I say. "I'LL GO GATHER THE OTHER GIRLS SO WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY LEAVE"
"I'm gonna need it" I mumbled to myself, walking out of the kitchen and into the hall to be greeted by the rest of the boys, whom happen to be completely dressed now.
"OH THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE CLOTHED" I say.
"Why wouldn't we be...?" Liam asks. Silly boy.
"DON'T TELL HIM" Niall blurts, trying to convey me into secrecy. "He doesn't need to know anything."
"I'll tell him over burgers IF WE EVEN GET TO MCDONALD'S BEFORE IT'S CLOSED" I say and Zayn walks in.
"Everyone ready?" I ask them. They all nod their heads. "THEN GET OUT. MOMMA WANTS FOOD."
We pile into the cars, and head to the closest Mc D's.
"Why couldn't I drive?" I ask Harry from the passengers seat.
"Hey, don't complain, at least you don't have to sit in the back" Niall says.
"It's not my fault, you didn't call shotgun soon enough" I respond. "OH MAH GOSH THIS IS MAH JAM" I say, turning up the radio to some random country song.
Harry immediately turns it off.
"I liked that song!" Niall protests. At least someone agrees with me.
"I've got a better idea" Harry says, as he puts a what i'm assuming is a CD into the opening for disks.
The first song that comes on I instantly fall in love with.
"What is this song called?!" I ask, excited because it sounds so sweet and whoever the singers are, they're really talented.
"Little Things" Niall answers.
"I think I remember this song, because I know the lyrics. I think I liked it before I forgot everything. And if I didn't then I sure do now" I say, falling in love with these peoples voices. "Okay, out of all of the people who sing this, whoever sings this solo at the end that's about to come up, I will marry. He has the voice of an angel"
The stereo continues to my favorite part of the song...
And you'll never love yourself half as much as I love you,
And you'll never treat yourself right darlin' but I don't want ya to,
If I let you know,
That i'm here, for you,
Then maybe you'll love yourself, like I-
Harry turned the radio off. Again.
"You really need to quit doing that or I will get my future, angel-voiced husband to track you down" I say to Harry, but he just starts laughing.
"What? Do you know who sings that part of the song? HARREH DON'T LIE TO ME I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND" I question him.
"How will you turn the car around if you're not driving?" Harry says, avoiding my question. He's smart, but i'm smarterer.
"I have my ways" I respond "SO ARE YOU KEEPING THINGS FROM ME HARREH?"
"If you keep shouting you're going to make me crash"
"Well don't crash then"
"I wouldn't try to crash, it would just happen. No one TRYS to crash"
"Some people try to crash, what if they were testing the air bags?"
"That's what test dummies are for, not actual people. If the whole purpose is to save lives, why would they put them in jeopardy?"
"I DON'T KNOW IT COULD HAPPEN"
"GUYS" Niall butts in. I was winning that argument! Not.
"What?!" We say at the same time. Freaky.
"We're here. Get out. Me want food" Niall complains. I'm starving too, so I just nod my head and TRY to get out but someone puts the child safety lock on the doors. And by someone I mean Harry. I look over my shoulder and glare at him.
"Let me out, Harry" I say, obviously annoyed.
"Nope" He responds.
"WHY" I yell, getting frustrated.
He takes a minute to think and then says the stupidest thing i've even heard.
"Because you're cute when you're mad"
I just continue giving him the death glare until he finally gives in.
"Fine! Don't look at me like that, gosh" He says and unlocks the door.
I just out and speed walk to catch up with Niall, whom looks very perplexed.
"Niall? What is it?" I question him. "THEY'RE OPEN RIGHT?"
"Yea they're open," He says, walking inside and looking around.
"Then whats the problem?" I ask.
"We took the long way here, and Liam said he was going the short way. So if we got caught by paps it wouldn't be so bad"
"And?" I ask. Again. This boy is getting nowhere.
"Well where is Liam, Louis, and Zayn then?" Niall says, finally getting to the point.
"Uh oh" I respond. "This is not good."
"What is not good?" Harry says, walking up to us.
"The other boys aren't here, when they should've arrived before us" I say, shortening Niall's long, cause and effect response.
"That really isn't good. I'll call Louis to see what's going on" Harry says, walking off.
"Well I'm still an hungry, and i'm ordering whether everyone's here or not" Niall says to me. "What would you like to order?"
I think about it for a bit, looking at the giant light-up menu thing on the wall behind the cash registers, and finally decide.
"I'll have the number two. What are you going to get?" I ask him.
"Two number twos. That's what I always get here" He says, and then walks up to the teenage boy at the cash register.
"I'll have three number twos, please"
"Will that be all for today, sir?" The boy responds
"Yep, that'll be it" Niall says and the boy types it in the machine. Niall gives him what i'm assuming is his debit card, the boy slides it in the machine, hands it back, and the receipt pops out and the boy hands it to him.
Niall and I walk away from the counter, and get a table by the window. It's got a cute little vase in the middle with pink roses in it. Apparently this is a fancy McDonald's.
"Shouldn't Harry be back by now?" I ask Niall.
"He's probably giving them directions to get here. They might have gone to the other one near here" Niall says, already starting on his next burger. I've only finished half of mine so far. Where does all that food go?
"Want to have a stupid pick-up line contest?" I ask, as I start my second burger. I'm catching up to his level of food consumption. (GOTTA KETCHUP. Get it? cause ketch-up = catch-up? Yea i'm done, keep reading...)
"Sure? You start, i've got to think of one first" He says. Little does he know, i'm a master at saying stupid things. I do it all the time.
"Do you have your license? Because you're driving me crazy" I say with a goofy grin. Little does he know, I have much worse ones than that.
"I've got a better one!" He says, challenging me. "Let me tie your shoes, cause I don't want you falling for anyone else."
"I'm bringing out the big guns" I announce. "Are you my appendix because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."
He just sits there looking at me intently, then sighs and leans back in his seat.
"Yeah, I can't beat that. That was really good" Niall says, admitting defeat. "Do you have these all memorized?"
"Probably, I keep remembering them at random times" I say. This is going to mean trouble if i'm in a serious situation and I remember a really funny one.
*Click* *Click* *Click*
"What was that?" I ask.
"I don't know..." Niall says, looking around, searching for the source.
"Out the window!" I yell. There is someone in the bushes across the parking lot with a camera. All I can see is the lens, but that has to be it, what else could it be?
"Where?" Niall asks, oblivious to what is right in front of him.
"In the bushes!" I say, pointing out the window. Niall looks, shakes his head, and stands up.
"Where are you going?" I ask, getting more confused every second.
"Where are WE going would be more accurate" He says, taking my hand and practically dragging me out of the booth we were sitting at. He walks out the door, still dragging me behind him, and heads straight for Harry, who is standing on the sidewalk on his cell phone. Niall whispers something in his ear, and Harry's eyes widen. He doesn't even say goodbye, he just shuts off his phone and jumps into the car.
I'm beginning to catch on now- we're leaving. I hop in the passengers seat and Niall gets in the back.
"Here" Harry says, handing me his cellphone with his eyes still on the road. "Text Liam to go home immediately and make sure no paps know where he is."
"Okay..." I say, typing in the pass-code. 1 2 3 4? Really Harry? I find "Daddy Direction" in his contacts, and text him Harry's message.
"Why should Liam make sure nobody is following him? Who would be following him?" I ask Harry, who is attempting to focus on the road, but I keep distracting him.
"I... We... Ask Niall, i'm trying to drive here" He responds. Someone's being sassy.
"Niall?" I say, getting his attention.
"Yea?" He replies.
"What are paps? Or WHO are paps?" I ask him.
"Paps are paparazzi. They try to get gossip on us and make up rumors about us. I bet in a few days there will be an article like 'Niall Horan's Girlfriend?', or something of that sort."
"Management's going to have a fit" Harry says.
"Hey i thought you were driving and couldn't be bothered at all ever" I say to Harry.
"Yea, well we're home so i'm not driving now" He says, pulling into the long driveway.
Liam's car is in front of ours, so they must be home already. Harry, Niall, and I get out of the car and walk in the door. I'm last to come inside, so I close the door, and turn back around to come face to face with a massive buck. (For those of you that don't know, a buck is a male deer)
"His name is Sheldon" Louis says, cheerfully, completely unaware of my nervousness.
I can't help but breathe heavier. At this moment, I remember my crippling fear of deer, which sounds really stupid, but I have my reasons. I start to get light headed and feel dizzy. The moment I realize i'm hyperventilating it's too late and all I see is darkness.