I woke up with a start when I felt my body roll to one side. I hoped that everything that happened before was a dream. But then looking around at my surroundings, I discovered that I was still on the floor of my bathroom. I picked my self up and decided to take a shower to rid myself of the gross feeling I felt.
As the warm water cascaded down my back, I felt a lot better. I was still broken in the inside, but at least I was safe for now. I thoroughly ran my fingers through my hair, making sure that my mango scented shampoo got rid of all the dirt in my hair. I washed my body with soap and gritted my teeth when soap got over my open sores. I then rinsed off all the soap and stepped out of the shower. I grabbed my white towel off hook in the wall and dried off. I put on my underwear, a pair of blue denim high waisted shorts and paired it off with a superman muscle tee and a red bandeau underneath. I then blew dried my hair and walked into my room. I went to the mini fridge and took out a can of coke. I then grabbed a bag of salt and vinegar chips off the shelf and went to my desk to do my work. After a few hours, I was finally done. Calculus is such a pain in the ass.
I plopped down on my bed and looked out of my window at the beach.
I thought of my life back in Australia before I moved to LA. I was thirteen at the time and I had a huge group of friends. We all got along well. Until my parents told me some heartbreaking news. They said that we were going to move to America because their company transferred them there. On the day I left, I clutched onto my friends wanting to never let go. We were all crying buckets and buckets of tears. We had all grown up together since diapers. My parents took my hand and we boarded the plane. Before we took off, I whispered “goodbye Australia, goodbye Clayton, Ella, Christine, Crystal, Jasmine, Jonny, Harry, Ashley, Jamie.”
After that, I didn’t really speak to them much. It just hurt every one of us too much. A few days later, I stood there at the front of my new school, pulling nervously on the straps of my backpack. I told myself everything would be fine and that I would get through the day with ease. Little did I know how wrong I was. The bullying started when I accidentally got in the way of the most popular jock in school. I was rushing to the classroom and hit something hard and was flown back. I quickly scrambled up and the jock stood there glaring at me. He then approached me and punched me in the stomach. I screamed “you son of a bitch!” He glared at me and then stalked off. When I entered the classroom, I slipped into an empty chair. Everyone was pointing at me glaring. Word had gone out quickly of how I dared to be rude to one of the most important student in the school. At lunch I was looking for a place to sit, when a girl wearing a cheerleader outfit came up to my and poured water all over me. Everyone started laughing. I was extremely embarrassed and ran home.
End of Flashback.
After that, I was the most hated girl in the school. I logged onto my social media sights. First I logged into instagram. I looked through the comments that people had posted under my photos. The world would be better if you died. You’re an ugly fuckup. Nobody likes you. Go kill yourself bitch. My heart cracked again. It felt as though someone had took needles and stuck them in my heart. What did I do to deserve this? I was only defending myself from the boy who punched my after I accidentally banged into him. I was going to say sorry before he punched me. Sure there were some nice people at the school, but after I became the victim, they were too afraid to go through the same thing so they changed. I started crying. I couldn’t help it. I just felt so lonely and unwanted. I wish I could end it all. I grabbed my razor and pressed it against my wrist and dragged it. I then put it away and watched as beads of blood appeared behind the lines I had created. I was ready to give up. I went downstairs and grabbed few boxes of panadol. Overdosing would be enough to kill me. I set it aside. I was ready to close my computer when something on my youtube browser caught my eye. It read twin talk time with Luke and Jai, Bullying and Self harming advice. I decided to click on it and watch it.