I am surrounded by Alien Robots!

For a nine year old; you wouldn't expect to find yourself surrounded by gigantic human-alien-like robot machines. These guys scared me! I backed up a few steps until my foot hit something hard and metal like. I looked up to see a yellow robot with these insanely adorable blue optics.But being adorable doesn't help in not getting scared.My racing heart was still going. I am surrounded by gigantic alien robots; definitely. Stand-alone. Universe of Transformers: Bayverse.

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11. Hello Dorito!

A jet flew above the clearing and levitated there for quite a bit.

In a minute the jet transformed into a robot that fell down to the clearing.

Starscream lands in the clearing.His gigantic metal heels clicked against a large boulder which then was chipped in half.Dust was kicked up from the grassy area merely around the tall dorito shaped Decepticon.The dust,with a educated guess, settled on Starscream's leg armor.There were clicks, clangs, and metal sounds coming from his armor sliding into place.

"Ah." Starscream said, observing the bind around Barricade. Starscream puts his arms behind his triangle shaped back like a  detective observing a new spectacle."Which Autobot did this to you?"

Barricade grunts.

"Not an Autobot." Barricade said, as Starscream walks briefly to the left apparentlyy observing his binds. "It was a human."

A side note, it's pretty much nine forty-five PM at night. And yes I have brushed my teeth before going off to do what a girls gotta do to get her prized possession back.The only thing in this world that makes everything seem sane is by fixing the bucket of storytelling.I am hiding in a wooden shack across from Barricade. I can see through the wooden covered window thanks to a knothole.

Starscream raises his helmet up with a curious lighting in his optic and his head was slightly tilted.

"A human?" Starscream said, with a scoffle.

"Yes." Barricade said. "A ten year old human."

I pressed a red button. Boom-booom went the large ditch that went off around Starscream.I quickly ran out the building with my bag in tow. Starscream shot at the shack. Of course that blew up and sent lots of wood all over the place.Metal most likely was thrown around the explosion site.The intense heat from the explosion actually sent a good breeze through my long hair.

"Hello death!" I shout,waving my free hand in the air. "It's been one wacky year for me." I had this wide mischievous grin. "What about your year so far? Does this happen to top off everything?" I wink at the dorito who is staggering back. "IIf so, I am proud to be the damper!"

Starscream stumbles back with huge optics.

"B-b--but I killed you!" Starscream acknowledges.  "I saw them bury you."

"I told you it was a human." Barricade complains.

"I was buried alive." I said, taking out zhe handle from my pocket.  "And you will fix zhe bucket, then you shall give it back and then we part ways."

The gigantic doritio robot takes a step back, perhaps scared and intimidated by a ten year old outcast. I don't know if intimidating gigantic robots is a achievement but if it is then I should get an award for it. If only the gigantic dorito was painted red, including those strange markings be inked in black so he'll look like a dorito robot basketball.Oh boy if he did repaint himself then Mrs Sandler would probably be the first one to take a picture discreetly.

"Not before I kill you." Starscream said, raising his long pencil shaped weapons.  "Again!"

I take out a small grenade from my pocket.

"Okay dorito." I said.  Goody, I've come up with a new name instead of triangle. Triangle seems so old school. "You must wanna die really bad."

The gigantic dorito shot at me, so I dodged and threw the un-attached grenade at him. The gigantic dorito fell straight on his butt with a klang. I take out these spider drones built to be small and unsuspecting from my bag.I press the top green button that activates their 'spider-web-sticky' mode. This is when a moving robot becomes immobolized by a child's invention. So basically a hundred small robots surrounded a gigantic dorito robot and made him fall backwards.

Starscream grunted as he attempted to get up.

"Reconsider my offer?" I ask,as my creations were immobilizing him.

"Never!" Starscream declares.

"Guess what." I said, fiddling with zhe handle.

"I will not guess with you, child."  Starscream said with a deep hiss.

I shook my head.

"You are acting stupid for the sake of getting out." I said.

"I am not a glitch head." Sarscream said.

"Do not underestimate the child." Barricade warns Starscream. "She has gut."

"I mean guess what my creations can do." I said, raising my eyebrows deviously.

Obviously Starscream's intelligence is not high enough to think properly with a question from a child.His metal face with a dumb reaction is priceless enough that I should have brought a camera with me.If someone were in in his metal shoes then they possibly may think faster than little Dorito right here. I rub the top of my machine spider hearing it purr. Yes, these  machines are alive thanks to some circuits and microchips from School that were about to be thrown away.

"Don't leave me guessing." Starscream said with a tasteful of hate.

"Why yes I can." I said., petting my little creation. "I can leave you in a farming area where Rice is grown and hopefully you get tapeworms." It really pays off learning in Science. "They  can take all the extra fat and feed off it."

"Tapeworms can't feed off cybertronians." Barricade said.

"Yes!" Starscream agrees with Barricade. I heard loud wheels that could only belong to speeding cars headed this way. "If those organic pestices attempted to feed off us in our intestines; they will writher and die."

"So you have intestines?" I ask.

"Look what you did." Barricade said. 

"I did nothing!" Starscreaw bickers.

"You opened the door for this child to pester us about our interal organs!" Barricade tells him.

You can say that hearing vehicles in the distance is pretty much better at night when most people are asleep. My hearing hasn't changed, well, minus the small ear bead that had been removed from my ear months ago. It was always 12:00 when the ringing started to take effect, not that I would complain about it because it was another to remind me it was lunch time.  Then what happened next could be the least unexpected event in 'capturing Decepticon' history.

"Tofu," Crosshairs said, as he transformed into his robot mode and held a small plate with food on it.  In one  hand I can see Sydney--Sydney? Why the slag is Sydney in the hands of an Autobot who would prefer not to have humans inside his vehicle mode? I may never know how the universe allowed this to happen. "Anyone?"

I drop my little spider creation. Thankfully they were not in attack mode towards the Autobots.

"You didn't offer me tofu when you picked  me up!" Sydney complains, in Crosshair's servo that wasn't holding the tofu plate.

"Sorry," Crosshairs sarcastically apologized, dropping her.  "I was not the one criticizin' pop music."

I swear, I don't know how Sydney can land safely on her feet from seven feet above the ground!

"That was ROCK music, dumb ass!" Sydney said, with her snappy attitude. "Rock music is something the singers express their feelings in." She stuck her tongue out at the green mech. "Pop, on the other hand, is something catchy such as--"

"Keep bleeding, keep bleeding love." I sang the lyrics to Bleeding Love. "My heart keeps bleeding for you,no matter what they say,because I'm in love with you."

"Yeah." Sydney said pointing over her shoulder towards me with her thumb.Ironhide was staring down at me pretty weirdly. "Like that."

"Tofu?" Crosshairs offers.

"Not now." Ironhide said, and then looks to the two wrapped Decepticons. "A human immobilizing two Decepticons." Ironhide scratches under his chin. "That is something new." He curiously looks down to me. "Why do you resemble a dead human I knew?"

I stare at Sydney.

"Frag it, toothfairy!" Crosshairs said.  "I told you to call the cemetery!"

"I want to be the one who sends her to the cemetery!" Starscream loudly insist.

"Watch it." Crosshairs said. "You don't want to be offlined in front of kids." He held a piece of tofu in Starscream's way, taunting him what he couldn't do. "Am I right?"

Starscream actually sulked mumbling a short 'no' without argument attached to his reply. Really?This is totally lame than this being a kiddy movie that bombed at the box office.  I smack my forehead. Did I really want to explain this to a Autobot who believes I'm fraggging dead?, I thought sliding down my hand over my face. This isn't how I expected to explain.

"Good." Crosshairs said,throwing the tofu piece over his shoulder. Must be a force of habit.

Oh well, Sydney just got this 'This robot is nuts!' reaction on her face.

"Go easy on Ivy." Sydney said. "It's not like she's programmed to automatically insult you."

"Humans are not programmed to automatically insult." Ironhide said.  "Why would a imposter insult me?"

Oh boy he just struck one of my nerves.

"Because I am not dead!" I shout at Ironhide. Ironhide has a thick processor. "Nor am I an imposter!" I shook my hands that were in fists. "No one can pretend to be mesah! "I tap on my chest three times while insisting."What proof do you need?"

"Solid proof." Ironhide said.

Crosshairs rubs where the bridge of his nose should be.He also made a comment in a unknown language not familiar to my ears. Sounded like Chinese or Japanese except it sounded really alien.So alien it couldn't have come from any Science Fiction movie, ever. But it is so unique to come straight from an alien robot from outer space. My second thought was to drag Ironhide to the grave that once had been blown to pieces.

"I'll show you." I said, lifting my shirt up. "This stupid  proof; Mr.thick-helmet-Autobot who doesn't pull up his holoform when driving!"

I pull up my shirt and then take off the fragging lid that covered the glass case over my heart.

"I told you so." Crosshairs said, as Ironhide was staggering back nearly tripping over a large log.

"Girly, how come you never showed me?" Sydney asks

"Because you would have babbled off to everyone about my secret," I said, getting this hurt look from her.  "And kaboom, my plan is in shambles.I can trust you with my name; but this? I considered it dangerous."

I put the lid back on the glass globe item.

"Why the slag did you let them come?" I ask Sydney.

"They are the Autobots." Sydney said.

I rub my forehead. 

"Sydney." I said, taking my hand off my forehead.  "This wasn't how I pictured to make my return."

"Let me out of these binds!" Starscream pleads.  "I'll tell you anything!"

"Even your last words?" Ironhide asks, turning his helmet towards the triangle shaped Decepticon. Wow that's a nice way to say 'no' coming from a Autobot. "Optimus would prefer you dead than alive."

"Uh no!" I shout.  "I need zhe bucket!"

"Zhe bucket." Crosshairs said. "I forgot how weird  it sounds coming from her."

"Zhe bucket." Barricade repeats.  "I told you buckets are not worth it."

"It's a--" Starscream said something in what I cannot understand, again.

I turn towards Crosshairs.

"I'll take them all, and one for my friend." I said, holding my hand out. Crosshairs hands me the plate of tofu so I handed three pieces to Sydney and then threw the rest at Starscream one by one. "Speak in English you motther fragging whiny aft femme!"

"Hey Toothfairy." Crosshairs said. "Is leader of the free galaxy aware you taught Ivy Cybertronian cussing?"

"Ow!" Starscream yelps, as one hit his optic.

"Speak ENGLISH!" I repeat in the voice a maniac would typically use.

"No." Ironhide said. "He isn't."

"My friend is cussing!" Sydney cheers. "In an alien language, this can't get more cooler!"

"Ow!" Starscream  whines, again.

"Speak in English, little dorito!" I said.  "Or else I will make my spider drones make you into a cocoon. Then you shall be turned into a pretty cybertronian dorito butterfly and then I will shoot you down using some cannon bullets!" I threaten the jet by throwing another tofu. "Give me zhe bucket!"

 ___                                                           _                                                                  ___

Our scene transfers to three days later. Ironhide looms over a child's grave in Illinois. He yanks out a pocket of dirt and dumped it to the side. He continue this process for at least three more pockets of dirt.The twilight night sky made this scene slightly awe inspiring when equipped with a phone and internet service.

"Ironhide." We heard Sideswipe from a distance. Ironhide turns his  helm over his right where a silver mech that relied on wheels to get around. "You're disturbing a grave."

Ironhide lowers his helmet.

"Maybe not." Ironhide said, lifting his helmet up.

With a loud creee--eech noise Ironhide rips open the coffin.There is enough light from the twilight sky we can see persevered body that is not Ivy. There is a couple boxes  to the side of this well kept body that is containing items in zip bags, in viles kept in cups, and highlight paper marking each item accordingly.  There is a big piece of paper that had a little note on it, this note read: My name is Jacob Street,so please solve my murder.

"How did she?.  .  ." Ironhide asks himself.

"What's in it?" Sideswipe asks.

"The body of a dead boy." Ironhide said. "Sideswipe,we'll dropping this off at a police station."

So, they did. But Sideswipe ended playing a song for a CSI show set in New York made by The Who. It's safe to say that Ironhide didn't really like hearing the song repeatedly on full blast from Sideswipe's open car window.Sideswipe got a lot of laughs out of it and posed a really good debate question about Ivy's empty grave; was she a zombie or not entirely human?

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