Defy's Crack!Fic dump

This is a place in which I dump all sorts of stuff, fandom related or other. A bit like the Random Book.... But hey


1. Lies - A Harry Potter Thingymabobble

Ah look, a brief Cracky-type thing I made a couple of years ago. Enjoy it, and excuse any mistakes, because like I said, I made it several years ago. My sisters' names were censored to protect their privacy



Once upon a time, Defy walked into a room. In this room was Severus Snape. Defy ran up to Snape and proposed to him. Snape was so surprised he said yes. Defy punched the air and did the macarena. Snape was really creeped out so he tried to find some loop-hole in Defy's proposal (which was actually marriage documents, Snape didn't realise that)


Once Snape realised he was legally married to Defy, he tried to commit suicide. But Defy was smart, and she had figured out how to stop Snape. Snape got depressed. Then Defy's little sister C charged in wearing her towel, which fell off because a gale was blowing. Fortunately, C was wearing clothes underneath so no-one was embarrassed.


Then, Defy's other sister G came in riding a purple zorse. The zorse suddenly spontaneously combusted, so G was riding thin air. She still kept on riding though, because G had tamed the air years ago.


Snape was now hysterical. He called Lord HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED. Defy instantly joined the death eaters, so Lord V. gave the marriage his blessing. Snape cried. He didn't want to be married to  such a creep. Lord V. got angry because Snape cried, so he used the cruciatus curse on Snape. Snape cried some more. Defy rugby-tackled Lord V.


Lord V was so surprised, he exploded. Defy cheered. Then Snape exploded. The course of Harry Potter books was drastically changed. Harry Potter than killed Lord V. before Lord V. could kill Harry, so Lord V. eventually possessed Harry, using the little bit of soul that Lord V. had unintentionally placed in Harry. The Dark side won, but then Harry over-rid Lord. V's control and took over the world. Defy divorced Snape. Snape threw a party. Defy killed Snape for that, but brought him back to life because Defy still loved Snape.


Then Defy, who had been exploding cucumbers, was exploded by a cucumber.


The end.


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