Star Trek Defender

The bloodiest war in their History's is over, now Starfleet and The United Federation of Planets are looking to rebuild and to move towards a more peaceful future.

One man seeks to challenge the hierarchy of the Federation.

One finds himself unexpectedly rising to the top of Starfleet.

Leading to the launch of a brand new Starship with a brand new crew, intended to be a force to show its enemies that Starfleet and the Federation will defend its principles and its members.

The brand new Starship Defender may just lead the way to a new era.


16. One Step at a Time Chapter One

As the memorial began to empty they were among a handful of people who remained. Kelvin saw a Federation ambassador he had met once before at an official function although he couldn't remember his name.


Not that he was really trying too hard to remember it, he had more important things. More important people to think about as he stood holding hands with his wife Elizabeth. 


He had no idea what to say to break the silence they endured since she cracked and started to cry and been unable to carry on and read out Olivia's name. 


He stepped in and said her name then led Elizabeth off stage and they had been sat on a bench next to what would soon become a memorial garden since then.


Hours passed before Elizabeth finally broke that silence, during which he had waved away the few people who approached looking to talk to one of them.


Whether they were wanting to offer condolences or talk official business, he didn't know or care.


His only concern was for Elizabeth, so he felt a great sense of relief that she was talking again.


"I lost it up there, just thinking it, let alone saying her name is still too painful."


"I don't know what made me think I would be able to get up in front of all the people here and everybody watching all across the Federation and just say her name."


"As if saying it aloud will make it anymore real than it already is."


"It's ridiculous isn't it. I know she's gone, yet I still expect to hear from her or to come home to find her there."


"I honestly thought I needed to get up there and say it, to read her name aloud to make it real for me," 


Elizabeth said. The quiet tone of her voice and her whole body slightly shaking as the tears once again began to slide down her cheeks.


"I didn't get to say it, but I do now believe it, I do now, know deep down that my girl is never coming home ever again."


Holding her hand feeling her shake and seeing the tears slide down her cheeks, Kelvin felt his wife's pain.


"No it's not ridiculous, I said it. I read out Liv's name and it hurt."


"I mean it almost physically hurt me to say it. Even when I know every one who had and was preparing to go out there on that stage knew exactly what I felt."


"I still found it hard, I'm actually surprised I managed it."


"You did though, you got up said it and were able to walk off stage under your own steam."


"You weren't led off in tears and nearly catatonic you were so caught up in your own grief."


"I failed."


"You didn't fail Lizzy, it wasn't a test. If she were here she would tell you, you needn't be so hard on yourself."


"You have every reason to lose it, what this service has been about is a beginning to the healing process, one day you will be able to say it."


"To say our girls name out loud in conversation to think it when you're alone without bursting into a flood of tears."


"Until then I am here, I am the shoulder you can lean on because I know what you're feeling."


"I know how hard just getting out of bed every morning, nevermind sitting, eating, drinking and carrying on as if it was at all normal to live on after your child dies."


"I know the depths you can fall to, the thoughts that go through your mind."


Elizabeth looked at him and for the first time really saw not just the pain, but the emptiness behind his eyes. The look of someone struggling just like she is to get through every day, knowing every smile, every laugh, waking moment feels slightly like a betrayal of the child they lost.


She had been too wrapped up in her own grief to see how it hit him, she hadn't even considered how their other two children were dealing with losing their sister.


Elizabeth stopped shaking and crying and used the back of the sleeve on her Admirals dress uniform to wipe away the tears from her cheeks.


She looked at Kelvin as she said to him, I think it's time to get up, I think if you're right and this was the beginning of the healing process, whatever that means."


"If this is it, then you and I both need to leave this place and maybe never come back here."


"Do you mean this site where they're going to build the garden or do you mean Starfleet headquarters."  


"If you mean this place, then yes we should leave now, if you mean living Starfleet altogether I can't agree with that." 


"I need to stay, stay and use my job to honor Livia's memory and try to prevent other families going through this in future," Kelvin said.


"How is that ship you've built at Utopia Planitia going to help protect anyone other than its crew, if it ever has one. You haven't even been given the green light to launch the prototype, let alone begin work on a fleet of that over the top warship of yours."


"Now the war is over, no one in Starfleet will want that beast out there, a fleet vessel as armed as a dozen Klingon or  Romulan warbirds."


"What kind of message would that thing send?"


"Okay, you're exaggerating how heavily armed it is, but the message it sends will be heard throughout the Alpha Quardant, that you don't mess with us anymore."


"That Starfleet can and will defend itself against aggression, Starfleet still won't start the fight, but be damn sure we'll end it," Kelvin said. Finishing spouting off part of the rehearsed speech he had planned on giving to Starfleet command to justify the building of a small fleet of this class of ship.


That he still hadn't decide for himself whether even believed it would still be necessary now the war was over.


Grief over Olivia and then jubilation with the end of the war and now his career plans pushed thoughts about the ship which he still hadn't named or given a name to the class of ship it would belong to if it did become part of a fleet. 


Kelvin Class having already been taken some time ago, if he did have enough ego to name it after himself.

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