Star Trek Defender

The bloodiest war in their History's is over, now Starfleet and The United Federation of Planets are looking to rebuild and to move towards a more peaceful future.

One man seeks to challenge the hierarchy of the Federation.

One finds himself unexpectedly rising to the top of Starfleet.

Leading to the launch of a brand new Starship with a brand new crew, intended to be a force to show its enemies that Starfleet and the Federation will defend its principles and its members.

The brand new Starship Defender may just lead the way to a new era.

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26. Erase This

Lieutenant Commander Litana Tyr, currently acting first officer on the USS Centaur sat alone at the desk in her quarters about to dictate a personal log entry having finished writing in her native Trill script having the computer translate a letter intended for the Captain concerning her future aboard the ship.

 

"Computer begin recording personal log."

 

"Recording of personal log has commenced," the slightly monotone female sounding voice of the ships computer stated.

 

Litana's personal log stardate... She paused realising she didn't know it.

 

"Computer, please insert the correct stardate into this log."

 

"The correct Stardate is 742979.1," the computer stated dispassionately.

 

Litana started talking.

 

"Alright, so in the hours after the war ended the majority of the fleet headed either to DS9 for the signing of the official surrender or limping away to a Federation Starbase to begin repairs."

 

"My ship remained behind in Cardy space," Litana stopped as she considered if she should say Cardassian Space instead.

 

"No, the hell with it, this isn't an official log. I could call it spoon head space if I were inclined, those arrogant murderous creatures will get no sympathy from me, nor anyone in Starfleet in my opinion."

 

"All the death, they brought on us, they brought on themselves, up to me I'd keep them contained on their homeworld for the rest of time."

 

"I'd be quite happy never to see one of them again as long as I live, can't imagine anybody in Starfleet or the Federation disagreeing."

 

Litana stopped for a moment and rubbed her tired eyes.

 

"Been a long day, been a long few days she thought, a long exhausting couple of years, even so I shouldn't really let even a personal log get bogged down in personal animosity."

 

"Computer delete from time index," Litana realised she was to exhausted to remember where she wanted to erase it from.

 

"Computer erase everything after the line about the ship remained."

 

"Log entry deleted from time index 00.00.11 to time index 00.00.16 the computer told her."

 

"Good," Litana replied.

 

"Begin recording again from where I left the original entry."

 

"Recording recommences at time index 000.11," the computer stated matter of factly.

 

Litana got up from the desk where she sat and moved over to her bed and lay down stretched out her arms folded across her chest then restarted the log.

 

"My ship wasn't the only one given the order to stay behind, some of the other ships who suffered the least amount of damage remained as well."

 

"The Centaur having been forced out of the final phase of the battle gave the crew time to effect moderate repairs. Enough to keep us up and running and complete the task we were assigned."

 

Captain Reynolds left me in charge while he preferred to stay in his ready room which he's barely emerged from since the war ended.

 

"Leaving me in command of our part in the clean up operations, retrieving the wreckage of the ships destroyed in the final battle."

 

"We not only gathered the debris we also rescued survivors from numerous escape pods launched from destroyed or abandoned Starships, sacing people trapped in those damaged or crippled ships."

 

Which had to have been the highpoint of the assignment especially compared to the unpleasant task of recovering dead bodies, primarily of our fallen Starfleet brethren, also Klingon, Cardassian and even Jem’Hadar."

 

"That one, a request came the next day when we thought we had finished, one of the Dominions conditions of surrender."

 

"Their Jem'Hadar soldiers and Vorta bodies would be collected and handed off to a Dominion transport taking them back through the wormhole."

 

"I have to admit I wouldn't have thought The Founders cared much for their genetically enslaved soldiers. Nor their cloned Vorta lackeys."

 

Litana had to admit a grudging respect for them doing it, plus the fact they had been magnanimous in defeat.

 

"They agreed to every condition Federation officials made."

 

"Don't get me wrong none of it will make up for the devastation they've left in their wake across the Alpha Quadrant."

 

"Damage it will take years, maybe decades for Starfleet to recover from."

 

"Neither can their actions since the surrender undo what I did."

 

"Something I don't believe I would have done were it not for the fog of war descending on me."

 

"Litana had to stop for a moment as the memory plagued her once again as it had every day since."

 

"A moment of madness I can never take back, sparked by grief I felt because of a loss I learned of only hours prior to my mistake."

 

"The following recriminations have likely permanently ruined my personal and professional relationship with Charlie, or just Captain as I only eve refer to him these days."

 

"It strained my personal relations with the many of the crew. Still they at least seem prepared to continue working with me."

 

"Unlike the Captain who hasn't said a word to me that wasn't an order for weeks."

 

"All the uneasiness made the already grim task of recovery all the more depressing."

 

"Especially after we took onboard the bodies and began the task of identifying the Starfleet officers. Some of whom were badly burnt and in some cases all we had were body parts."

 

"That's the time when as first officer... acting 1st officer," corrected herself. "I should have been there to provide comfort, a shoulder to cry on when it seemed there hadn't been a single body one of the crew didn't know from their service on another ship or having been at the academy with them."

 

"A couple of them I served with on previous vessels. Luckily no one I had been close friends with."

 

"Not one who could inspire me to make another bad decision."

 

"Like I did on the Bridge that day."

 

"Bugger," Litana smiled briefly as she thought of David and the old Earth curse word she learned from him.

 

"Bugger, she said again liking the sound of it. "This log has gone off topic and veered into maudlin self pity." Litana said to herself.

 

"Computer erase log," she said to it.

 

A few seconds passed before the computer spoke again to give her confirmation the log has been erased.

 

"Oh it's late I'm tired I can't face doing this log a third time, so I'll summarize."

 

"Several days since the war officially ended we've been released from the duty of recovering Starship wreckage and the bodies of anyone killed in the final battle."

 

"Anyway now that's over with and we are heading for Starbase 82 yet as relieved as I am the war is finally over it means my future is uncertain."

 

"I hope to continue here on the Centaur, to earn back the trust and respect of the crew."

 

"I hope the letter can go some way towards persuading Captain Reynolds to keep me on."

 

"Probably not as his second in command, I understand and accept I've lost the right to retain the privilege of that position, still should he decide to leave me at my current rank or demote me back to Lieutenant or Ensign it is still my hope to remain here."

 

"I don't want this to turn into another situation where things became too tough so I walked away, like when I left home, left my home world behind all those years ago."

 

"I'd rather be like the times I stood my ground and fought for what I knew was right."

 

The memory of the time she faced a disciplinary committee aboard a previous ship came to mind and how she maintained her belief she had done nothing wrong.

 

This time isn't the same as my disciplinary incident, this time had been my fault, I had been in the wrong.

 

Still even through her feelings of guilt Litana began to feel sleepy and could also feel her stomach grumble then she heard it too as it dawned on her she hadn't eaten in days, but then she knew she hadn't been eating or sleeping properly for months.

 

Tired and hoping maybe she would finally get more than a few hours sleep she decided to end the recording.

 

"Computer, end log and file it in, file it to my... oh damn it, computer erase the whole thing, who was I even recording it for?

 

"What was the point?"

 

"I know our current mission, Starfleet know it, and the state of my career and all about the disintegration of my personal and professional relationship with my Captain."

 

"Same goes for the fragile mess of my own making between me and the crew, so what's the point in keeping it."

 

Litana sat up frustrated and knowing she wasn't going to get to sleep.

 

"With fourteen hours until we arrive at the Starbase and with seemingly little chance I will get any rest in these off duty hours I might as well take the opportunity to contact my friend," Litana said, before realising as she continued talking aloud she wasn't dictating her log anymore."

 

Litana smiled for making the silly error. The first thing she'd felt legitimately able to smile about in a long time.

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