Everything I Didnt Say

5sos made a vow that girlfriends are off limits. But when Ashton falls in love with the girl next door, how will he keep it a secret. With bitter words spoken, everything's broken. It's too late to bring it back to life. With time ticking away, will it all be okay? Or will they fade regretting everything they didn't say. Contains: Violence, Self harming, Drug use, Alchohol, Suicidal scenes, Hospital scenarios, Near death experiences, Brutal Arguments You could say it has everything but to a certain extent. Don't freak out if you feel uncomfortable about any of those things. The story makes for a good read and you will not get bored. Give it a go! Please Fan me and if this Fab fic isn't your cup of tea then I have 2 other fan fics that might float your boat. Cheers, Maddie.

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25. You sicko.

A/n

Guys it's been awhile so here is the next chapter. Please keep up with comments, likes and favoriting to ensure you won't miss the next update :)

Belarnas POV

I was driving home and at the lights quickly texted ash.

B: hey at the lights now, be home soon <3

Before I could see if it had sent the light went green so I continued along. I pulled up past where the other 3 boys live. Sweet n sour memories there. But as I walk inside I realise everything's perfect now. Luke's out of hospital, Ashton's home again, they are all friends and I'm about to tell Ashton that the results came back and proved that the baby was definitely his. I walk upstairs. "Ash I'm home" I yell. He rushes out with a look of shock.

Ashton's POV

Time to set the story.

"Belarna quick! Calum's fallen and he isn't moving." I yell acting scared. "What how'd this happen" she asked as we ran down the stairs. "He was leaning against the balcony and- um- he tried to climb on the roof even though I told him not to. Then he slipped" I lied. We reached calum. "Calum FUCK are you alright?" She asked the still body. He looked at me. "Get him away from me" he pleaded with fear in his eyes as if I was a murderer. Then i remembered, I am a murderer. I suddenly remember everything again, the killing and drugs. I don't know if I can lie. Belarna is confused. "Calum do you need to go to the hospital" she asked him. "No" he replied as he tried to stand. "Y-yes" he stated after realising he couldn't walk. Belarna hinted she would take care of this. As she kept calum supported I tried to think of a way to cover up anything calum might say. "he probably has a bit of brain damage" I whisper. She nods.

Who can I call? Who do I know that would understand? Luke? No he would never trust me if I told him. Michael? I just, I mean I haven't spoken to him about stuff much before but right now he's my only hope.

*dialling*

"Yeah Michael? Hey. Yeah it's Ashton. I need your help. No I'm not in trouble. Well I am but not dange- just come now please."

Calum's POV

"Now how exactly did this happen calum?" Belarna questioned as we drove. "You'd never believe me." I told her. "I will believe you I promise" she replied. "Ashton threw me over the balcony" I sighed knowing she'd think I lied. "Calum did you hit your head? just asking?"

"That's because you don't believe me" I exclaimed throwing my hands up as we approached the red light. "Belarna, look me in the eyes, I didn't bang my head, I'm not lying and Ashton is not mentally stable" I explained. She looked deep into my eyes. "Your not lying." She mumbled as she looked back at the road. Arriving at the hospital I wasn't considered emergency so I had to wait.

Michaels POV

I was with Luke and we'd gone up to see his brothers for a BBQ but after receiving Ashton's stress call I immediately said my goodbyes and hopped in the car. Luke sits beside me, even though I'm not sure if Ashton wanted Luke there. Oh well. We arrived at Ashton's about 30mins after the call. "Ashton?"I called out. No reply of course so I headed to the place he always is. In his bedroom. I walk in to find furniture smashed and broken everywhere. Luke comes close behind me. We walk past the toppled dresser into the bathroom only peeping our heads in. Ashton has a gun to his own head. "Do it Ashton. Fucking do it" he yells at himself. I run in and knock the gun from his hand which shoots a bullet at the mirror. It's cracks along the whole surface and pieces fall. Powerful gun. "Ashton what's wrong?" Luke asks with concerned eyes as he enters the room cautiously avoiding the reflective glass. Ashton looks at himself in the mirror although there's cracks all where his face is. He breaks down in tears and bangs his fist in the sink secret times. He has blood on his wrist from once again cutting. "Ashton. Calm down!" I say as I lead him and Luke to the bed. "Ashton explain." I Inforce. Ashton tries mumbling words but just cries out before he can complete even 1 syllable. "Hey, hey your fine your fine we are here now and we aren't letting you go." Luke comforts as he holds Ashton. He can't pronounce words so he grabs Belarnas diary and the eon and writes little notes.

~I can't speak without crying. But you need to look in the hatch of the bathroom.~

The first section read. We opened the hatch revealing numerous items. Ashton saw them and let out more cries. "Guys I- I just" he managed to spit out before crying. I could tell he was regretful. "Ashton why did you start doing these drugs?" I question. Ashton slows his crying and begins to actually speak. "Don't listen to me, let me die I'm a murderer I killed my brother and an innocent male." He yelped. "Ashton? Is this true are you lying" Luke asked. Ashton stared at him and we could tell he was serious. "Ashton that's very bad but we will help you through this don't worry" me and Luke reassured. "Guys you can't do that. You need to stay away, I'm dangerous I need to go." He murmured. "No you are not leaving Ashton. We all love you so much and I know you can get through this with our help" Luke stated. "But I don't deserve it" he cried. Before we could reassure him he did deserve it he spoke "I've put calum in the hospital"

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