Anxiety and why it Sucks

This is the diary of Samantha, a 15 years old girl, who struggels with her fight against anxiety. ♦- Notice: This story is based on real life events -♦

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5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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I sweep my bangs away from my eyes and studies my face in the mirror, lets my hand trace my nose, my collarbone and the growing blue bags under my eyes. Bloodshot eyes are staring back at me, my face framed by messy blonde hair. My cheekbones have gotten more evident, I notice restlessly, fiddling and twirling my hair around my fingers. I look tired.

“Sam, I need to pee!” my sisters voice sounds from the other side of the bathroom door, but I barely recognize it.

“yes, yes I’m- I’m coming.” I turn on the tap and plashes water in my face, A last look at the mirror and I’m out.

 

5th Entry, Wednesday, 19th of March, 2014 

Diary, my dear diary

I don’t really know how to start this entry, but let me start off by telling you I feel so embarrassed right now. Until yesterday I thought that my dad was going to go with me to the psychologist, which meant that I would be going by car, but unfortunately he found out he had a really important meeting at work and couldn’t drive me anyway, so it turned out that I had to go with me mom… by bus. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t usually have anything against buses so I don’t really know what happened, or how it happened, but it resulted in me basically crying hysterically at the bus stop at my mom, because I wanted to go by car. All the other people at the bus stop was looking at me, and thinking back on it I must have looked really pathetic, but that wasn’t even the worst part, no, because I didn’t stop crying even after we got inside the bus. It was absolutely horrible. The air was warm and uncomfortable, I was sweating like a pig, and my nose was running, so I felt like couldn’t breathe, and that just resulted in me crying even more, and all that while sitting beside my mom who was growing really irritated. Oh, and everyone was still looking at me, but I had kind of gotten used to it by then. And no, it doesn’t stop there either, because I just LOVE to embarrass myself in front of everyone, and just so HAD to go screaming at my mom all the way from the bus stop till the building my psychologist works in. So basically I was behaving like a 5 year old, crying like there was no tomorrow, and throwing the biggest tantrum ever, while walking in an overcrowded area through our capital city. My mom had to pull me all the way.

Diary, my dear diary I’m so embarrassed right now, I don’t dare go on so for now,

Bye

Sam

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