Months passed and I still had the feeling of missing something or someone. I still had Louise and Louis but there was something I miss. I couldn't talk about it with Louis. He didn't understand me at all. I woke up, Louis was still silent, he was sleeping. Louise was sleeping too. I looked around and decided to go to the living room of our luxe hotelroom, it was a sort of appartment for more than 5 - 6 people because there were 5 bedrooms.
When I arrived there in the living room. I saw Harry. 'What are you doing here, early in the morning?' he asked me. 'I could ask the same. ' I defended. 'Touché! Yeah, I couldn't sleep anymore.' He told me. 'Here the same but thinking about everything...' I sighted. 'Maybe let's take a walk together? You can talk about it then.' He proposed. I nodded and wrote a note for Louis:
Dear love of my life,
I'll be back soon but I'm making a walk with Harry, he couldn't sleep too. I saw you and Louise peacefully sleeping so I didn't dare to wake you up. I love you a lot. xxxxxxxx Eleanor your wife
I gave Louis a quick kiss on his forehead and changed my pyjama into a dress. I made everything ready and then I waited for Harry. After some minutes he was ready as well. 'Tell me what's wrong.' He asked when we sat down on a bench in that park close to the hotel.
'I miss something. I don't know what, maybe a new child, maybe more Louis, I have no idea at all.' I said devastated. Harry rubbed my back. 'Is it the fact that Louis is famous now? And that he has the responsibility of a child and that you're scared he can't make it happen?' He asked. I nodded a bit. 'I don't know , I think so. Sometimes I have the feeling, one direction is more important for him. I have the feeling that Louise and I will always have a lower place in his heart.' I almost cried my heart out.
'I think I want a second child but if he's doing like this, I think I want to live alone with Louise.' He rubbed my back and proposed to talk with Liam. He's daddy directioner and could talk more with Louis. After we arrived at the hotelroom Harry told the whole situation to Liam so I could go to Louise and Louis.
Louise was already awake so I changed her clothes and diaper. Then I put her in the couch next to Liam so I could wake up Louis, who was still sleeping like a pig, like snoring like a pig. 'Wake up pig.' I said and pushed him out of his bed. 'Mmmm El.' He whined when he lie there on the ground.
'Wake up Louis or you don't have any breakfast. Your daughter is already awake.' I said and left the room so he could do his morning rituals. I played a bit with my daughter while the boys were doing something for the tour. After some minutes Louis appeared but not in a good mood. His eyes could close any minute if he didn't take care of that.
He walked to me and sat down on the couch. He rubbed Louises back and gave me a quick kiss. Butterflies weren't there in my stomach, and normally they were there, even with a quick kiss. 'Louis it's time for lunch and then we have to go to the stadium.' Liam mentionned. Louis nodded and followed the boys. I made some food for me and Louise while the boys were away.
Not any kisses of hugs from Louis when he went away to the stadium... There I was in a huge hotelroom with my daughter. She was playing with her toys while I was searching for some work to do. Cleaning up, cooking, just something.
Hours and hours it last when the boys came back. 'Hey!' Liam said and hugged me. Everyone hugged me except Louis. He didn't kiss me at all. Is he in love with someone else? Is the love gone ? I'm so scared. So scared.
Liam took a walk with Louis after dinner. I'm curious about the result. But actually there wasn't one at all. He was like he did today. No kiss, no hug, nothing.
I was scared, I don't wanna loose him at all.