3. chapter 3
Here I am, again. After ten years of hiding you in a box in my closet, I need you again. While the teardrops are dripping on my pillow. A lot happened. Heartbreaks, fights, graduating, the same old high school story that everyone expires. My first love was bittersweet and my first heartbreak was like a knife pushed in my chest, over and over again. I fell. I tripped into a kind of darkness I'd never seen before. It was as dark as the clouds on a stormy day. As thick as smoke..there wasn't a way out. It kept me there, for months. Until..I can't explain it. It fade away. Slowly at first, of course. It took me forever to show a real smile on my face. And as we both know, forever is a long time. But after a while...it came back, out of nowhere. It grabbed me with his hands and pulled me back for no reason. It isolates me. Every time I try to escape, it catches me and pulls me deeper into that dark room. Every time it pulls me back, it tortures me more. That voice...I've no idea where it comes from every time. It takes the place over and rules it, like he has been there forever. It makes me do stuff, I don't want to at first. But his words..oh his words make me believe every single thing. It made me scared for mirrors, for example. I had a clear moment so I quickly decided to write to you, my only friend I've left.
He came. He punished me for writing to you. Red rivers are streaming down on my arms, looking for the sea. I'm scared. Scared what he make me do to myself. Afraid of the things he says...
I'm terrified of myself.