“You okay, man?” Liam asked me at breakfast that morning. We had gotten up somewhat early so we could go to the gym to work out before breakfast.
“I don’t know…you seem really out of it.”
“I guess I’m just really worn out and tired. I didn’t sleep too great last night.”
“Why does everyone automatically assume it’s her?!”
“Because she’s the first girl you’ve shown interest in since we got here and once she started to ignore you, you started acting funny.”
“We haven’t even been here a week; how could I possibly like someone I barely know and how could someone I barely know affect me so much? It doesn’t make sense so it’s obviously not her.”
“If you say so, man.” Liam said, shaking his head. We took our seats and started eating when I realized that across the room, Bethany was sitting with that guy from the other night eating, laughing, and smiling. I gripped my fork tighter and tried to look away, but I couldn’t. “Harry…?” Liam said slowly, turning to look in the direction I was looking.
“What?” I asked, without turning my head.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her?”
“With another guy there? She’s probably on a breakfast date with the guy or something. I wouldn’t want to interrupt them.”
“You’re clearly bothered by it.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked, finally turning to look at him.
“Well…for one…your knuckles are white from gripping your fork so hard.” Liam pointed out, looking at my hand. I looked down and noticed he was right.
“Yeah, no…it doesn’t bother me. We were never together so she can do whatever she wants.”
“You like her, man. Just admit it.”
“I don’t like her.”
“She kissed you, Harry…”
“How do you know that?!” I demanded to know, surprised.
“I witnessed it. I went to follow you the other day after practice and stopped when it looked like you two were in a serious conversation. She kissed you and you won’t even acknowledge it.”
“That’s because it didn’t mean anything.”
“It clearly meant something to both of you. You haven’t been the same since the kiss and she clearly kissed you for a reason. Most girls won’t kiss you and walk away if they didn’t care or like you in some way.”
“It meant nothing.”
“I won’t push it then.” Liam said, going back to his food. I sighed and started pushing my food around my plate, no longer hungry.
After breakfast, I said goodbye to Darren and made my way back to my room. Classes started in a couple days and I wanted to make sure I was ready. I wasn’t about to walk into class totally unprepared and unrested from being a busy bee the next couple days. I was halfway back to my dorm when I saw Stan and Donny waving me over. I saw them, waved, and slowly, and walked over.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”
“Have you seen Harry anywhere?” Stan asked.
“Nah, we’re just worried about him. He’s been acting really weird since yesterday afternoon after our double practice with you.” I swallowed hard and tried not to show that I knew why.
“Yeah no…the last time I saw him was at the party last night.”
“When you went hard.” Donny said, winking.” I half smiled and nodded.
“Yup…but no, I haven’t seen him.” I pushed, trying to end this conversation. It was weird for me to have seeing as I had a hunch of why Harry was acting weird and not wanting to discuss what happened last night seeing as my dad was still somewhere on this campus and if he found out, he would rip me a new one for going back to what I had quit a year or so back.
“Alright, well will you let us know if you see him?” Stan asked.
“Yeah, of course.” I nodded and started to walk away, waving at them slightly. I sighed once I got out of ear-shot.
When I got back into my dorm, Megan was sitting on her bed, folding her laundry from last night since she had puked all over herself. She gave me a half smile and I fell back onto my bed, finally feeling tired.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked her.
“Why would you be asking me if I was okay? You were the one who puked all over yourself last night.”
“I mean with the whole Jeremy situation and then the popping pills situation.”
“What about Jeremy and popping pills?”
“Bethany, don’t play stupid with me.”
“What is there to say?”
“You’re the one who claims you don’t party anymore after what happened in high school and now you’re going back to popping pills, drinking, and god only knows what else you’re going to go back to at this rate.”
“Look, I’m alive so there isn’t an issue. Jeremy got knocked out and I made it out of the night alive and happy.”
“Yeah, and barely drunk since you were the one taking care of me last night! Why would you do that? Do you know how sick you can get from drinking double what I drank and not even getting close to drunk?!”
“Yeah, probably insanely sick but it is what it is. I was happy last night and didn’t need to worry about anything.”
“Believe it or not Bethany, I think Harry not being in your life is worse than him being there. When he was in your life, you kept yourself sane. Now you’re just popping pills and drinking more in one day than I’ve seen you drink since we got here. And more than anyone else has drank in one night on your own…”
“Look, he’s toxic. I’m just fine. Just after what happened with Jeremy last night, I needed to calm down and that’s a good way to calm down for me.”
“But you’ve always had other ways to calm down before you got here! What even happened?!”
“Nothing happened last night. I was sober as fuck.”
“I know that but that isn’t what I’m asking.”
“Then what exactly are you asking me? Because I’m completely fine. There is nothing you have to worry about with me.”
“If you say so…” Megan said slowly, before dropping the subject as we fell into a slightly awkward silence seeing as we both knew what happened last night was not okay and we both knew it wasn’t the last time it was going to happen.
I ended up passing out soon after since the vyvanse had worn off. I knew I would be out for a good half a day, minimum. I think Megan knew that too because as soon as I started to drift off, I heard to dorm door close and I knew it wasn’t going to reopen any time soon.
“Wake up.” I felt someone shaking my body and groaned as I slowly began to open my eyes. I almost shot out of my bed when I saw Harry standing over me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!”
“I’m making sure you haven’t died from all the damn alcohol and vyvanse yet. You seemed pretty dead to me for a minute there. I was about to dump water on your head.”
“I swear to fucking god if you do that…”
“I said I was about to.”
“I would’ve fucking killed you.” I groaned, rolling back over and pulling the covers over my head.
“Come on, please look at me and talk to me…” Harry begged quietly.
“Because why, Harry?” There was a long pause to the point where I honestly thought he left and I started to fall asleep again.
“Because I like you.” I rolled over and shoved the blankets off my head.
“Excuse me?” Harry sat down on the floor next to my bed and ran his hands through his hair. “Did the guy who doesn’t date and lives, breathes, eats, sleeps football, just tell me he liked me?” I asked in shock.
“Why? What the hell makes me so special compared to any other girl you could have?”
“You understand me.”
“How the hell do I get you?”
“Sports…your dad…I don’t know…I just feel like when we talk, you understand every word that comes out of my mouth.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” I groaned, rolling back over into my bed, not sure what to say.
“So I’ll take that as get the fuck out, right?” Harry whispered after a short pause.
“That’s more of a way of me saying that I can’t believe you’re the one in my room telling me that you have feelings for me.”
“Because my best friend follows your life, my whole family follows your life, I know just about anything public made about you…because of all of them and I can’t believe I haven’t even been here a week and you’re telling me this. You haven’t as so much looked at a girl in like three years, two years? Whatever, but why me?”
“I already told you why…that and I feel like I’ve known you forever.” I sighed, still slightly asleep and not sure I wanted to have this conversation. But I did know that I wanted Harry cuddled up next to me so I reached over and pulled him up next to me, surprising him.
“I’m too tired to have this conversation so just shut up and go to sleep.” I mumbled, curling into his side. I felt him shift a little underneath me and wrap his arm around me and pull me close, making me fall asleep within seconds.