9. Game over
When I left my doctor's office I called the boys and told them to come to my house... I also called my parents and told me not to leave because I need to talk to me about something really important.. While I was walking home I could not stop thinking about my surgery.. This is it.. This is the finale..
I was standing outside my home... I did know how to talk to all of them.. None of them were going to agree with my decision.. I took a deep breath and went in.. Jai, Skip, James, Luke and Beau were already there.. They were sitting in the living room with my parents.. ΤThey looked so sad.. All of them..
-Hope: Hey guys.. I am glad you came...
-Mom: Baby, what is happening?
-Beau: I am literally freaking out..
-Hope: Well.. So today I went to the doctor... My cancer is still here... Chemo did not work this time...
-James: Okay.. So now you will start radiation..
-Hope: No, James... I decided to continue with the surgery..
-Dad: No, no, no.. Me and your mom will not agree this time.. You are not allowed...
-Hope: Yes, I am.. In one week I am turning 18.. I can decide about myself.. And I will do the surgery..
-Skip: No, Hope.. Please.. You can not so that..
-Jai: That is dangerous..
-Luke: You know that you chances to survive are low..
-Hope: I know that.. I know everything. But you do not know how I feel... In how much pain I am.. I can barely stand up in the morning.. Barely walk... Eat or even drink water... I am exhausted.. It is all or nothing.. I would love all of you to support me with my decision.. If not.. I will do it anyway.. I want you next to me.. You can not feel it but I can.. This is the end for me..
-James: *yelling* DO NOT SAY THAT.. THIS IS NOT THE END... THIS IS NOT YOUR END..
-Mom: Please baby... I am begging you.. I am not ready to lose you.. To lose the reason why I am breathing...
-Hope: Mom I love you with all my heart.. And dad.. I love you too.. But the pain is too much.. Please understand me..
-Dad: We do my princess.. And we all gonna be there.. But first we will do a H U G E birthday party...
-James: A huge pool birthday party...
-Jai: And we will have Christmas lights and everything..
-Beau: Yeah, it is so amazing having birthday on December..
-Hope: It is amazing having birthday on December only if you live in Australia.. HAHHAHA...
My parents and the boys were in a rush the whole week because they wanted me to have the best birthday party. They invited so many people.. I did not even know the most of them but that was absolutely okay.. I had the best birthday party.. And I got drunk for the very first time... When all the guests left I was sitting in my bedroom... Then James came with a bottle of tequila... And bam my first hangover.. That night was the best of my life.. I turned 18, me and James came really close and the people who I love the most made me feel so damn happy.. I did not think about my cancer not even once that day...
*Two days later*
Surgery day was officially here.. I was excited and sad at the same time.. I wanted my pain to end but I did not want to lose my parents and my best friends.. I was not afraid to die.. I lived 18 years and my life was full..
-Doctor: Good morning to all of you..
-Mom,Dad,Beau,Jai,Luke,James,Skip,Me: Good morning doc.
-Doctor: Wow.. That was impressive.. Hope, are you ready?
-Hope: I was born ready..
-Doctor: Before we start I need you to sing something for me..
-Hope: Sure doc-doc..
-Mom: What is this?
-Hope: It is a document that says if I die during surgery or after.. There will be no attempt to save me ...
-Dad: Are you sure you wanna sign this babe?
-Hope: Yes, dad. There you do doctor..
-Doctor: Now it is time to talk about the risks.. I know you know all of them but I have to tell you one last time because I really hope you will change your mind...
-Hope: I will not but go ahead..
-Doctor: First of all.. Actually the only risk is death... You can die on the table.. But if you not die on the table you may never wake up from the sedation.. That means.. Your brain function will be really low and a machine will hold you in life..
-Hope: Yeah no. You will close the machine.. I do not want to breath only because of that..
-Doctor: I know sweetheart..
-Hope: You will allow to my mom, dad, James, Jai, Beau, Skip and Luke to say goodbye and then you will pull the plug..
-Luke: But there is a possibility that non on these will happen... Right?
I hugged my parents and my guardian angels, I kissed them and told them how much I love them..
-Hope: No matter what will happen I want all of you to be happy.. To continue with you life and make you every single dream come true.. Do not cry for anything.. I LOVE YOU..
*After the surgery*
-Doctor: It went really well.. Wow.. 15 hours in there but we got the whole thing out.. Now we just have to wait...
God please.. I am begging you... Save here... This all I ask for.. I am not ready to say goodbye.. I am not ready to lose her.. She is all I ever wanted...
*5 hours later*
-Doctor: We will try to wake her up to see if everything is okay.. We will do the tests really quick and then put her back to sleep.. You are not supposed to come in with me but sometimes you just have to break the rules... Come..
What is happening.. What are they doing to me.. I opened my eyes and saw all of them looking at me... The doctor did some tests to see if I could move properly.. He asked if I knew who my mom was.. I nodded yes.. Then he asked me about the rest.. I remembered them all.. Then he asked me if I could talk.. I whispered yes... That moment he gave me something and I slept again..
-Doctor: I could not be happier.. We have a little warrior between us..
-Mom,dad: Omg yes..
-Skip: Doc, can I please hug you?
-Doctor: Of course.. Hehehe.. You can go home now.. She will be sleeping till the morning.. I will call you when she is up...
Hello? Miss Smith? It is Doctor Knight.. You need to get the boys and come to the hospital now...
*30 minutes later*
-Doctor: I do not know how to say this.. This is not something you say to a parent..
-Jai: WHAT HAPPENED?
-Doctor: Around 6am... She passed away...