Chapter Twenty Six - He Wears My Bra
Breathe, Alex, Breathe, I told myself over and over again. My head was throbbing and I can't even begin to describe the numb feeling in my legs from shock. I was probably just overeating, maybe if I squeeze my eyes shut for long enough he will disappear. With as much force as possible, I squeezed my eyes closed and began to count. One....two.....three....four....five.....six.....seven....eight... I peeked through my left eye to see Colt in the same curled up position.
I watched as his hand lifted and itched closer to me. Oh no. His fingers curled around my wrist, it wasn't harsh or aggressive, it was gentle and extremely odd. I began humming the tune to the first song that popped in my head which was young, wild and free.
I knew that I was going to have to wake him up so I scanned my room to find something that can make it look like I didn't do it on purpose. Please tend to be very cranky in the morning if they are ever woken. With little effort I found nothing suitable so with a long sigh I peeled his hand off my wrist.
"Colton." I hissed at him but he just flinched so I was going to have to try harder.
"Colton." I repeated, my lips close to his ear so he could hear me loud and clear.
His head jerked up and my reflex movements were not up to scratch so he successful knocked my in the head but onto of my massive hang over it felt like a ton of bricks hit me.
"Dammit," He cursed to himself, "I'm so sorry Ally, are you okay?" He was now seated up right and he leaned closer to me. His hands on my shoulders made me feel uncomfortable, all I wanted was Brooks' touch.
"Colton, don't touch me." I asked him politely, curling my legs up so they were wound in my blankets. I felt so violated because Colt saw my body, my body without my permission.
"Ally, just relax. Everything's fi-" He placed a hand on my shoulder and I couldn't feel more uncomfortable.
"Colton, what are you doing in my bed?" I whispered, I placed a hand to my head, I really needed some aspirin.
"Ally, it's not what you-" Once again I cut him off.
"Colt," I hissed in a deadly tone, one that scared myself, "what are you doing in my bed?" I said every word as slowly as though I were talking to a little boy.
"You asked me here!" He shouted, pain and despair laced on his words.
"Don't shout." I growled, his yelling thumped in my head like a ton of bricks. Hang overs are never fun. This mess would not have occurred if I didn't get drunk, I don't blame Bec, I just blame my irrational thinking.
"Don't shout? Are you kidding me Ally? You're tearing me apart." I would have tried to analyse his words like how was I even hurting him but I was focused on one question and one question alone.
"Colt, we didn't, you know?" I asked carefully.
I looked back at the boy in my bed, it still sounded strange in my head, anyway, I searched his eyes for a clear answer, guilt or disgust but I found neither. I found something else, something that scared the living life out of me.
"And would it be so bad if we did? Would it be the end of the world if you came onto me when you were drunk? Would it be so bad if I spent the night with you and we both enjoyed it? Would you hate yourself?" His voice was strained, this was not the same confident Colt that I know.
"Yes." My voice mimicked his, we felt pain but different forms.
"And why?" He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. "Why would it be the end of the world if we were together?" I wasn't even bothered to scoff. There was way too much tension for the morning and I decided to ignore the multiple questions spiralling in my head like why did this matter so much to him? Us, something that would never be.
"Because I love him." I blurted before slapping my mouth with the palm of my hand. It's not that I regret saying it, it made me more convinced about the truth when saying it out loud but I didn't want Colt to be the first one to find out. Colt, of all people.
"Yeah," Colt's voice was soft and disappointed now. "Yeah, you already said that." He whispered.
"When?" I yelped, my forehead creased.
"Why does it matter?" I could see the veins straining out of his neck.
"Colt, when?" I shouted desperately.
"Last night." He shouted so powerfully, reinforcing all his pain in those two words. It scared me way to much and hurt my head way to much to try and interpret the main cause of my pain.
"Colt you need to leave." I whispered, all I wanted was a shower and some water.
"Yeah," He scoffed bitterly, "I got that."
I watched as he got up off my bed and walked towards my door, he turned round to look at me and he was just about to open his mouth but I beat him to it. "Can you turn around?" I requested and he nodded.
I couldn't help but notice how tense his back muscles were and I also noticed how tight his fists were clenched. When I am sober I know that I have to fix what ever mess I created here, between us.
I pulled off Colt's top and now I was topless in my bed room with a boy. But he respected my boundaries. I quickly pulled on a singlet top that I discarded onto my floor. I progressed to Colt and I pulled Colt's arm up. I peeled open his hand and I placed the shirt in it.
Without a thank you or an apology from my lips, he walked out of my room. I collapsed on my bed and I began to cry. I commonly, in this disturbed situation would have ignored my phone but the single text caught my attention.
Colt: And no. No we didn't.
I put my pen down on the open text book and I leaned in on my desk chair. I sighed, clutching my phone in the palm of my hand. It was expected yet I was still hurt that I hadn't received a single text from her. I know how it is in exam time, especially for Al but not even a good morning text? Didn't she miss me, like at all?
It made sense that she didn't think about me as much as I thought about her. Maybe she is waiting for me to text first. With a slight encouragement from my conscious I decided to tap away a text to her.
Me: You're not ignoring me are you? ;)
And I sat there, staring at my phone, waiting, waiting for her text. It was forceful in pulling the winky face beside my question when all I wanted to do was put a sad face.
Judging from the hour that passed it was obvious that I wasn't receiving a text back so I decided to weigh up the odds and call her. This was better anyway because I loved her voice.
I heard the first ring but then it cut out, that only meant one thing. She rejected my call. Was there something I did? Did I say something? Maybe I should have texted sooner. I definitely knew that something was up when I finally received a text from her, but not one that I wanted.
To begin, the no was in reference to my original text an hour ago about her ignoring me. Here she denies yet I know full well that she is. But this isn't Teddy, she would reply with something confident, sarcastic and incredibly unintentionally sexy like 'Did you want a medal for guessing correctly?'
Me: What's up Teddy?
I waited three long and impatient minutes before deciding that I couldn't wait any longer. It was a Saturday afternoon and Al's discomfort was way more important than studying for exams so I grabbed the keys to my bike and stormed out of my room.
"Ma, I'm going to Al's." I called out while I was in the main and open of the house. I didn't know where mum was and I was tired of not getting responses to I just shrugged and walked out.
I found it hard concentrating on the road. I swerved three times and I missed the stop sign. Al, what are you doing to me? I pulled up in her driveway in no time and I ripped my helmet off. Just after I rang her doorbell I actually considered what I was doing. I can't just show up at her house uninvited.
"Good morning." A cheerful and bright Tara introduced but then she saw me and her eyes widened. It's like I could tell what she was thinking, instinctively she thought of a lie.
"Oh Luke, hey um, well ugh, Alex, she isn't here." Tara stammered on her words which was odd. Why was she covering for Al? Why did Al need a cover up? Did she request not to see me?
"I know she is here Tara." I said emotionless. Truth be told I honestly didn't know if she was up stairs.
"Luke um, Alex, she isn't in the best frame of mind. She um, had to deal with a lot this morning. I mean, I would have freaked out too if I saw Colton in bed-" She spoke so quickly but stopped abruptly and I let her words sink in.
Colt was in Al's bed? I blinked, this did not sound good.
"Can I just see her?" I asked desperately, my brain was forming their own questions that I didn't even want to think of the answers.
Tara gave up, inside she was kicking herself for saying something that she shouldn't have. But she nodded and pulled the door open, wide enough for me to step inside. "Just be quiet because dad isn't fond of the idea of Alex being in a room alone with a teenage boy." Tara warned and I nodded in respect.
I climbed the stairs to her bedroom and a nervousness feeling consumed me. I knew that when I stepped inside that room I was going to hear some things that I didn't want to but this was Al and I, we can pull through anything together. We were like blood and the problem was like water. We were thicker and stronger.
I knocked softly on her door, I couldn't help but notice how shaky my hand was. I told myself mentally to relax but I wasn't calming myself down. But then I saw her, sprawled out on her bed and she looked so perfect, just laying there effortlessly. However when she lifted her head from the crook of her elbow I saw that things in her world weren't so perfect.
"Brooks." She croaked and I could almost feel the pain that she was experiencing.
Immediately I found myself at her side, my hand on hers, running circles as a method to calm her. "Teddy, what happened?" I asked her and her eyes were a drooping brown.
"Brooks, I want to tell you but I'm scared you won't believe me." She whispered and I knew that she was at her weakest point.
I cupped her cheek and made sure that she was looking at me. "Al, I will always believe you." I put sincere emphasis on each word so it will sink in and she will believe me.
She nodded and swallowed. Her petite frame curled into my side and her hands were wound up in the fabric of my T-shirt. "Promise you won't be mad or judge?" She asked me softly, worry planted in the basis of her words.
She inhaled deeply before beginning, "I was drunk and I came home- before you interrupt I got home safely," She knew me too well. "But then something happened and I don't remember it. I wish I could, I honestly really wished that I remembered what happened but I can't. Then I woke up and...." She trailed off, her voice getting weaker as she did so.
I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arm around her frame as reassurance. "I woke up and Colt was in my bed- I swear Luke I'd never do anything intentionally. I didn't mean for him to be in my bed. If I can recollect my thoughts properly than I thought it was you. But I promise that we didn't do anything, we just slept. I promise that I would never- Colt even confirmed."
Ouch. It only hurt because Colt got to spend a night with my girl and I was jealous. I'm not an idiot, the girl in my arms was frightened, she was scared of my reaction. I knew then that she cared about me, she cared about how I perceived her. I really was falling for this girl.
"I believe you Alex." I used Alex on a rare basis to prove force, sincerity and deep meaning.
She paused, her eyes looking up into mine. She looked like a little girl and I just wanted to make all her troubles to go away.
"Thank you." She whispered, gripping onto me and holding me tightly. I cherished her touch. I know that sounds gay but I really was whipped over this girl.
"Teddy, can I ask you a question?" I chose my words carefully because I knew all her problems had not gone away. One still remained.
"Yes." She answered along with nodding.
I tucked her messy fringe behind her ear as I asked my next question. "Why did you drink?" I made sure that my voice was soft, calm and in no way judgmental.
One thing that I did know about drinking excessively until you cannot remember a thing is if you have a problem and you want to drink your sorrows and troubles away. At first I thought it was about her mum, I know that her dad and mum haven't been on the right note.
But then she froze, literally, I could only hear myself breathing. Obviously I struck a nerve but its us? Al could tell me anything, right?
"Al?" I questioned in a concerned tone.
After I was greeted with silence my senses told me not to push it any further but I had to, she was hiding something from me and this wasn't us.
"Teddy, why did you drink?" My voice was still soft but it was not calm.
"Because, I, ugh..." She stammered before inhaling deeply. She was about to tell me something that was deep, I could feel that in the thickness of the air.
"Because I -" And then she stopped when both our eyes averted to the door which flung open.
"Door open, always open kids." Al's father instructed with a firm yet forceful smile.
"Yes, Sir." I agreed, nodding in respect. To be completely honest, I was terrified of Al's dad. The whole effect of talking when ever he needed to or wanted to struck me as frightening but I couldn't let anyone else so,p.
Luke Brooks isn't scared of anything, right?
"Sir?" Al mimicked my voice and began laughing.
"Shut up." I teased, pushing her down on her bed.
From that moment we were in a better mood, the pair of us. It was obvious that Al was in a more cheerful mood and I wasn't about to kill it with my skeptics or worries. But I knew I needed to crack down on why Al got drunk. I didn't want to go behind her back and find out through a friend but I didn't want her pain to go unnoticed. Maybe she will tell me when she is ready.
Or at least I hoped.
Luke Brooks was perfect.
How is one human being so amazing and how can I know him? I'll tell you what, I'm extremely privileged to have association with such a perfect specimen. At this moment in time he is cheering me up by trying my clothes on. Or at least attempting to try my clothes on. You see, nothing in my closet can fit a seventeen year old teenage boy.
He helped me by giving me some advil, a glass of water and a wet wash cloth. He said that he was pretty useless as people helped him when he was in my situation and he didn't really pay attention to what they were doing, but what ever he was doing now seemed to be working. I'm grateful yet disappointed that he didn't bring the subject up about why I drank.
I swear I was about to tell him that I loved him at that very moment. I was so ready but then my dad barged in and I was left with no words.
"How does this look?" Brooks asked in a teasing voice as I laid my eyes upon him.
My eyes widen and a blush flushed to my cheeks. "Brooks!" I squealed in shock.
"I know I don't fill them out as well as you do..." He trailed off, wearing his signature smirk and my bra!
He was now running his fingers along the cup of my bra and I swear that he was imagining me 'filling them out'.
"Brooks, take off my bra." I hissed at him in a low tone. I didn't want Tara hearing or else she may get the wrong idea.
"Only if you take yours off too." He teased. These humor comments were better when we weren't going out but add in the element of 'physical contact' whilst being in a relationship and I will turn as red as a tomato.
"No. Just take it off." I chuckled, using laughter as a mechanism to tone down my blush. Curse my genes.
"I told you. Only if you take yours off to." He comprimised but failed.
"No." I said firmly, folding my arms over my chest where his eyes wondered.
"Fine. But you have to take something off." He raised an eyebrow and wore his smirk so flawlessly. He was really manipulative and persuasive.
"Okay." I obeyed and his eyes widened. He watched me firmly, not even blinking so he didn't miss a second of my little 'show'. In attempt of a sexy parade, I slowly and seductively (well as hard as I tried) pulled off my sock.
He threw his head back and bit back his laughter. "You, Al, are such a tease." And with that he unclasped my bra and folded it back in my draw.
"I know," He said noting my shock. "I took it off so flawlessly. I can try it on you." He said suggestively, adding a wink in my direction.
I rolled my eyes and hopped off my bed. I advanced to my window which I opened because I was being suffocated by something larger than I expected. Sexual Tension. I decided it was best not to sit back on my bed because he may become encourage so I plopped myself down on my floor where I sat in a cross-leggered position.
And just when I thought the humiliation could not get any worse, it did. "And what is this?" Luke said so smugly. I averted my gaze to him and saw just what he was looking at. I almost chocked on my own saliva and my eyes widened so much that my eyelids hit my eyebrows.
"Brooks." I chocked softly as I looked at the little material in his finger tips.
"Al, I didn't know you were this kind of girl." He smirked, spinning the black laced undies along his fingers.
"I'm not....They aren't....." I stammered. They were mine but they were sort of like, a gag gift from Tara. It wasn't a thong or anything it was just laced underwear but it was enough to make me flush.
"Have you seen 10 things I hate about you?" He inquired randomly and I thought all the blushing was over.
"Yes?" I replied in a tone that was questioning due to my confusion.
"Well do you remember the scene where the sister and the boy look in Cat's room and they find her black underwear? Do you remember what they said black undies implied?" And I instantly felt my cheeks becoming hot.
If you haven't watched the movie then 1, I suggest you do and 2, black undies imply that the owner of the pair wants to have intimate contact. Or so the movie claims.
"That's just a movie." I said in a hurried tone in such defence.
"Then why are you blushing so much, Al?" He quizzed. He knew how I felt about this whole topic. I felt like an adolescent child learning about puberty. Not comfortable. But he just loved teasing me or picking me up on it.
"You know I was just testing to see how hard I could make you blush boy Teddy, you just made a new record." He laughed with himself and I just frowned at him.
He noticed my reaction and immediately he came to my side. He sat right beside me an apologized. "Ha!" I exclaimed. "I have you wrapped around my finger." I teased. Jumping up in satisfaction.
He just smirked smugly and said, "I can have you wrapped around something." He wagged his eyebrows and he stripped me of my victory and glory. He just scored 10 points.
"Alex, Luke. Come down stairs." I heard Tara's voice travel up in excitement. I turned the volume down to my steroe which was playing 'Rip Tide'. I looked at Brooks and shrugged before skipping down stairs.
"Alison!" I squealed when I saw my cousin who was enveloped in a hug from Tara.
Alison is my second cousin on my dad's side but we were just as close as first cousins could be. She was 25 and still looking as fresh and young that she could pass as a teenager. I hadn't seen her in such a long time because she was having her baby and then there were complications but here they were, so healthy.
"Don't just stand over there Alex." Alison frowned but I jogged up to her and hugged her tightly.
"Alison, this is my boyfriend Luke." I introduced when the hug was complete. Was it odd that I found calling Brooks my boyfriend still strange? Although truth be told he meant more to me than a label of boyfriend.
"Nice to meet you." Brooks said, holding out her hand.
"Well he's a keeper." Alison whispered to me before shaking his hand.
"Girls and Luke, I'd like for you to meet my little warrior, Isaac." I couldn't wipe the smile off my face when I saw the little baby. He would only be maybe a month old and he still smelt like babies do.
"Can I hold him?" The words slipped off my tongue and Alison smiled.
"Of course." She instructed that I sit on the couch and she rested a pillow under my arm so it wouldn't ache.
"I'll make some tea." Tara said, whisking away to the kitchen as Alison lifted Isaac out of the pram and placed him into my hands.
I felt a weight on the couch beside me and I was grateful to see Brooks. His face was so soft and tender as he looked upon Isaac who was yawning and I couldn't help but melt inside because he was so beautiful.
"He is so precious." I whispered to Brooks who had Isaac's fingers laced around his index finger. Isaac's eyelids were so small and it was just incredible you know, to hold a human being in your hands. I could feel him breathing and it was just astounding.
"He's so beautiful." Luke said in a hushed tone and it was just remarkable how much Brooks was effected by him. He wasn't the cocky and confident boy, he was the affectionate and sensitive one and it was incredible to see this side of him.
"You hold him." I said, looking up at Brooks.
"Okay." He answered, barely parting his lips.
Carefully I placed Isaac in Luke's arms were Brooks softly patted his back side. I couldn't help but notice how he was a natural at this. I mean, I didn't think that care taking a plastic baby could make him such a pro. I almost died when I saw the look on Brooks' face when he looked down on Isaac.
I got up off the couch and went to help Alison and Tara in the kitchen to prepare the tea. But then this crazy idea formed in my head that one day that could be us. Brooks and I, having a baby together. What am I saying? I'm seventeen. But the thought warmed my heart.
"Your boy is singing a lullaby to Isaac." Alison said softly.
I cocked my head up from the milk that I was pouring and I saw Brooks being so gentle in singing to Isaac and suddenly my crazy idea didn't seem so crazy anymore.
An hour later Alison left and I cleaned up all the mugs and tea splatters while Brooks went to the bathroom. "Tara, Alex." My dad called, joining us in the kitchen.
"Turn the water off, I need to tell you something." He instructed at Tara and immediately she turned the running tap water off.
A worried feeling consumed me as I looked at my dad and I knew that I should be preparing myself for the worst.
"It's not final or anything," My dad began but it was still strange for me to hear him speaking aloud so often, "but your mother and I will most likely be getting a divorce." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was pained to say so.
I knew that he still loved my mum and she was too stubborn to see that. And although I was not content with the new information, final or not, I knew that I was going to have to accept it.
It was just another bump along the road.