I decided not to bother Luke, so I tried to go to sleep. But I had so much on my mind that I couldn't. I looked at my phone and it was 12:46. I smashed my face into my pillow. I tossed and turned, trying to find a better postion. I looked at my phone again. 12:47. I huffed and got out of bed. It was cold outside of the covers so I put on a large hoodie. I tiptoed out my door and knocked on Luke's door very gently. I heard a faint "what?" Come from the other side so I opened the door and peered in.
The lights were off and there I saw Luke sitting upright in his bed with his knees up and his back against the headboard. His face was hidden in his hands. "Um...can I come in." I stuttered.
"Why? Ashton's not here." He said. He wasn't making it any easier.
"No, Luke I wanted to talk to you." I entered the room and shut the door behind me.
"Talk about what? How much fun you had with Ash? I don't wanna know," he rubbed his face and the crossed his arms over his bare chest. I could see his eyes, he had been crying. I walked over to the bed and sat right in front of him.
"Luke I wanna apologize. I shouldn't have went out with Ash, I was angry, and well...confused. I wasn't thinking." It wasn't working, I think what I had said made it worse.
"Maybe you should just go home." He said and rolled off the other side of the bed. I sat there with tears forming in my eyes.
Luke walked over to wear his phone was charging. He typed a few things in and flung it back down.
"I don't want to go home," I mumbled.
"I know, you'll miss Ash." He was mocking me. He came and sat next to me on the bed.
"No Luke I'll miss you. I'm not into Ash as much as I'm in to you." I wasn't lying. When Ash kissed me, there was no spark. But when Luke kissed me, there was fireworks.
Luke leaned back and looked down. There was a short silence, I really wanted a reply from him, I had just let out my feelings.
"What did you do with him?" He eventually asked.
"He just took me round Sydney, an it's my fault I asked him too. I was impatient and stupid okay, and I'm sorry for lying to you."
"Fine, but what did you do with him?" I then realized what he meant. I took a deep breath to clear my mind.
"We kissed." Luke looked like he had just taken a bullet. "It's just a kiss Luke, it didn't mean anything. Turns out there's just no connection between us." I grabbed Luke's arm and hugged onto it. "I'm sorry Luke." I was practically begging for his forgiveness.
Luke rubbed his face again. "I guess...that makes us even?" He said quietly. I brightened up as I though this was him forgiving me, but it turns out he wasn't. "Except that was my best friend!" He snapped and yanked his arm back. That was it for me. The tears came flooding out, along with little wimpers. "Don't do that. Don't cry!" I could help it, I leaned in and hugged his tightly. "For god sake." He said, but he comforted me by rubbing my back.
"Luke I made a mistake, I wasn't thinking properly, all I want is for you to forgive me, and go back to the way things were. I'll submit to your rules again. I'll be your girlfriend. I just wanna stay with you" I looked into his deep blue eyes. Searching for his answer.
"No" he said blankly. It felt harsh. I had seriously misjudged him and now he'd had enough of me. "Just do whatever you want, but I can't look at you the way I use to, you knew I liked you, you didn't know how much but you still knew, so did Ash. I told him all my feelings, and I tried to open up to you and you just ignored me. You shut me out. You shut everyone out...I think you better leave."
"Go!" He snapped. I bit back my words. He sent me out. I slowly got up and walked towards the door. Luke just stared at the floor.
"Please don't be mad at Ashton, I don't want to cause you guys to fall out or break up your band. I'll take all the blame. You can be mad at me for as long as you want, I deserve it." With that I left the room.