The hardest thing in the world was watching the person who meant the world to you, die. I tried my hardest to be strong and act like everything would be alright but when I watched her take that last breathe, it was like my whole world was shattering and no one could find the pieces.
“I love you so much, Baby.” I said before kissing her head and leaving the room. She wrote me a note before she passed and handed it to me in her final hours stating that I needed to read it after she was gone.
My love, I have left you and for that I am so sorry. I will watch over you and the boys and your family. I don’t want you to hold anything back. Go out into the world and act like this is a great life because well, it is. Don’t stop yourself from loving someone else just because you lost me. Cancer took over my body, I couldn’t help it. I’m with my grandparents now. I’ll be okay.
Daniel, my love. When you find someone you love hold them close. Don’t think about me because I know she will make you just as happy as I once did. I will watch from above as you love this girl and someday maybe marry her and have children. When this girl comes to you, know she was sent from me.
Your love, Olivia.
I reread the note over and over as I cried and cried. I cried until I thought I was all out of water and could no longer cry. As soon as I walked in the front door and my mother saw my face she burst into tears and cried into my arms. No one knew what it was like to lose the one you love.
I woke up that night crying. I could hear Violet whispering loving words to me.
“It’s going to be okay.” Was the last thing I heard her say before my sobs stopped and I laid back down in her arms.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered to her.
“Don’t you dare be sorry for loving someone and feeling something for someone.” She answered. Violet was a very passionate person and she hated seeing other’s in pain. When I glanced at the clock it was three in the morning.
“Have you gotten any sleep?” I asked her as I saw the very faint dark circles under her eyes in the moonlight.
“No. You’ve been crying for a while.” She answered me. “It’s okay.” She said before I could even say anything else.
“I just miss her.”
“Well of course you do. You love her.” She said stroking the hair in front of my eyes. “You don’t ever forget the people you love.”
“No. You don’t.”
“I’m sorry she had to leave that way.” She said frowning.
“I am too.” I said to her as I looked at her. “You remind me of her.” I blurted out and she giggled.
“How?” She asked me.
“The way you act. You act just like her. You could be having the worst day of your life but you act like everything is fine and you would do anything to make me happy. You don’t want to rush things. You like taking it slow.” I answered her. “The way your hair flows. How you play with my hair.” I smiled remember everything. “The way you love me.”
“I love you more than anything else in the entire world. I will protect you and I will hold you tighter. She would want me to.” I smiled at her.
“Okay go to sleep.” I said trying my best to pull her to me.
“I love you.” She said kissing my bare chest.
“I love you too.”
*FEW HOURS LATER*
I woke up to an empty hotel room. I hated when that happened. I texted Violet but I didn’t get answer just the door opening and smashing into the wall and her stripping and jumping on me.
“We have about an hour.” She said kissing me roughly and pulling my pants off.
“Violet wait.” I moaned out while pushing her back a little.
“Come one I’m so…” She trailed off.
“I understand. I’m trying to get to that point too.”
“Hurry!” She moaned out. I grabbed her boobs and she moaned out laying back on the bed. “They are going to be back soon.” She whispered as she got the rest of my pants off.
“Okay. Okay.” I answered before getting on top her. And lets just say what happened next was not what I was expecting.
“What are you doing to my little sister?!” I heard Luke yell.
“Shit.” I mumbled before getting off of her and putting my pants back on and covering her with the blanket. “Well…” I trailed off.
“How could you?! I trust you!”
“The same reason you do it with Hayden!” I yelled at him.
“Oh Jesus.” I heard Violet say.
“But you know of course, Violet isn’t pregnant!” I shouted.
“Don’t you dare talking about my girlfriend and daughter like that!”
“At least I didn’t get my girlfriend pregnant!” I shouted at him.
“Can you stop?! People make mistakes! Luke get over it! I’m not a little girl anymore!” Violet yelled. I wasn’t really sure as to what to do so I stood there very awkward like before Luke went storming into the room next door. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shoved that on you.” She said turning to me.
“It wasn’t your fault. We didn’t know he was going to walk in on us.” I said wrapping my arms around her. “I’m so in love with you.” I said to her before Beau walked in.
“He caught you?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I answered. “We didn’t know-” I went to say but he cut me off by putting his hand up.
“He hasn’t accepted the fact that she’s not a little girl anymore.” He said. “He still looks at her like a baby. He doesn’t look at her like a growing young women.” Beau answered before leaving. “Freshen up, we’re going shopping.”
I was more than pissed when I caught them. I knew I shouldn’t have been listening outside the door to what they were saying but I was just trying to protect her.
“Why are you freaking out?” Hayden asked through my laptop.
“I caught them having sex! She’s seventeen! She doesn’t need to be having sex!” I shouted.
“Honey, we had sex at sixteen remember? You got me pregnant at eighteen? Remember?” She asked me.
“This is different. She’s so young and she has so much more left to life.”
“Luke, you keep her locked up in the house all day. Did you really expect her and Daniel not to have sex? That’s what teenagers do..” She said trailing off. I knew she was right but I was still suppose to protect her from these types of things. “You’re going to do this to our daughter too aren’t you?” She asked me.
“Of course I am. She’s what I need to protect now since the other one isn’t a virgin.” I scoffed. Even saying that she wasn’t a virgin anymore grossed me out. “I’m so grossed out.”
“You shouldn’t be. It’s a natural thing. Everyone does it. We made our beautiful daughter doing it did we not?” She asked.
“We did.” I smiled. “She’s the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.” I love my daughter and my girlfriend more than life itself. But I also loved my sister but it seemed that she was in good hands and I needed to let it go. She let me go when I had my daughter. She didn’t hold me back from doing things because she would miss me. Although I had decided not to move out for her sake, she doesn’t spend as much time with me as she used to and I’m actually really upset about that. I wished she would spend more time with me but we are all moving onto different phases of our life. I’m a dad now. She’s an aunt and she has a boyfriend who she loves more than life and I know how that feels because I’m there too.
Luke hasn’t looked at me for a few hours now. We’ve been out shopping and such for a few hours and not once has he looked at me or Daniel. No sorry no nothing. I’m really worried about him but it doesn’t seem like he likes me anymore. He was wrapped up in his own little world. He had Hayden and Ryan and that was his top priority now and I understood that they needed him more than I did but he was still my brother.
“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked me as we walked behind the group.
“Luke hates me.” I answered him back.
“No he doesn’t.” He commented. “He just needs some time to think.”
“Well can he think faster? It’s making me feel horrible.” He shrugged.
“Luke! Why do you hate Violet?” Daniel shouted before Luke stopped walking and glared at me.
“I don’t hate you!” He said. “I’m trying to think about what to say to you two!” He said in a very angry voice. “I’m trying to get over the fact that you’re not a little girl anymore and I need to worry about my daughter growing up now!” He shouted.
“You’re attracting attention to us.” I whispered to him as Beau tried to pull him out of my face.
“I don’t care!” He shouted. “Leave me alone!” Tears sprung in my eyes and I did my best to hold them back as I looked at the rest of the boys and Daniel came over and grabbed my hand.
“He must be on his period.” He whispered to me.
“He hates me. I told you.” I said to him as a tear fell down my cheek so slowly I felt it was like a glacier slowly melting on my face and disappearing down my neck. Why would he say that to me? Maybe he should move out. Maybe we all needed a break from each other. Maybe I should move out. I’m sure Daniel wouldn’t mind buying a house or little apartment together.
“He’s just a little emotional.”
“He had no right to yell at me.” But maybe that was his way of saying he had had enough of me and he was moving out to raise his daughter with Hayden. I knew he didn’t want to be around me anymore because he didn’t look at me like his little sister anymore. I was just his sister. I was just short of there, taking up space. “Maybe I should just go.” I whispered.
“Go where?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Home. I could stay with my aunt.”
“No. Absolutely not.” He said shaking his head. “Give him a few days. Let it wrap around his head. If he isn’t better in a few day’s we will see what we can do okay?” I nodded my head but I knew nothing was going to change. He hated me. He wanted nothing to do with me anymore and just like him accepting that I’m no longer a little girl, I had to accept that he didn’t love me anymore.