1. Why Me?
Why? The question that was continuously circling round in my head, like hungry vultures over a rotting corpse, why was the only question that stood out to me in big bold letters. What have I done wrong this time? Was it someone else? Was I not good enough? All the questions that I so desperately wanted to fall from my mouth..Only they didn't, the only thing that was falling was tears, that rolled down my cheeks in heated streams, making my face red, glossy and sore. My eyes had become puffy and stinging like someone had chucked a thousand tiny daggers at them.
I ached all over from what was being said, and all I could do was sit there and cry continuing to make my face tear stained. I felt pathetic, needy, hopeless and utterly useless. It's in these moments that I zone out and forget, I make myself believe that it isn't real, that it's a dream or my imagination running wild. But then my cheek stings and I remember it's all too real. I felt everything for those few seconds, then... Nothing.
It was as if someone had turned me into a china doll, someone had picked me up, loved me, cared for me, then they didn't want me any more. And they dropped me, and watched me break. I felt like a china doll that had been smashed into ten thousand tiny pieces, some of my pieces were beyond repair and others, gone, lost.
I was never one to stand up to a bully. Especially when they were...Him. He was bigger, stronger...I was just too timid, too shy, too much of a loser. I trusted him, loved him, dare say it even worshipped him, with every inch of my body and soul. I'd been knocked around, he'd chipped me before, but now...Now I was broken...And I couldn't be fixed.