You and I

He told me it was him and I till the end. He knows of my depression. He knows that I cut. He knows everything. That's why he is my boyfriend. He told me that he will be with me and that nothing would separate us. So I stopped cutting and my depression, well you could say it went away. Yeah I still feel worthless but not all the time. Everyone has their moments. Then something happened to him. He started using drugs, and he started to hang with the wrong crowd if you know what I mean. Then he started to hit me. He has never bit me before, and it scared me. But I stayed with him. He got worse and worse with the drugs and everything. I then decided that I would leave him. My depression then came back, and I started to cut again. I just hope it stops soon. I was used to pain, but after not having to do this for a while, well it hurts. But one thing remains on my mind. Him saying that "You and I till the end." I guess us till the end won't happen. If only it did.


1. Please Stop!

~~"Diana, please, stop!" Ashton begged.

"I can't Ashton. The pain feels good." I said

Here I was again, cutting. Ashton is outside my bathroom door. I was on my facebook, while Ashton was messing with my hair. I was looking at what people were saying about me "behind my back" even though they were wiring on my page, and tagging me in their posts. After going through, not even half the page, I lost it. I ran to my bathroom and locked the door. I looked at myself in the mirror and I could see all my flaws. My hair was everywhere, my eyes were dull and droopy. My nose is huge, my stomach isn't flat and my things are huge. I also had huge feet. There was more to say but I couldn't bare to say it. I went over to my shower and grabbed my razor. During this time Ashton was banging on the door. Of course, I wasn't listening. I sat down and pressed the razor into my skin. I heard a rip of the skin. I pulled the razor back and I saw the blood. It felt good. I went just below the cut and did it again. I did this about 5-10 times on each thigh. During this time, Ashton kept yelling for me to stop. He sounded deperate.

"Diana, please, stop!" Ashton begged.

"I can't Ashton. The pain feels good." I cried.

Even though the pain did feel good, it also hurt.

"Diana I am going to kick down the door!" He yelled.

I didn't say anything.

"1! 2! 3!" He yelled.

Next thing I know, the door is wide open, and I see Ashton standing there wide-eyed. His eyes looked red and puffy. They usually are. He came over and sat down next to me. He pulled me up into his lapadn rocked me. I was used to this though. He rocked for a good 5-10 minutes.

"Diana, why?" He asked, almost in a whisper.

"Because of what people say about me. It hurts. What they say is true though." I say, almost in tears.

"What they say is not true! You're the most beautiful girl I have ever layed my eyes on. Don't let what they say affect you. They're probably just jealous of you. They're trying to push you down so they can be on top. What you need to do is not let them do that to you. So let's get you cleaned up and we can go out to dinner. Sound good?" He said

"Thanks you Ashton. And yes dinner sounds good." I say

I stood up on myy tippy-toes so I could give him a kiss. I am pretty short.

He helped me clean the blood and he put some bandages on my thighs. Yes it stung. I let out a whimper but we once he finished, I was fine.

We got ready to head out to dinner. I changed my outfit to ripped skinny jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. Ashton's hoodie to be exact. I don't know why, but your boyfriends hoodies are always better than your own. And, also my sneakers with my causal outfit.

We headed out to his car. It was a simple car. I don't know much about cars. We hopped in and left. We were going to Friendly's! My favorite place to go because everyone looks so happy. Even though Im not the happiest person alive, I like to see other people happy. It puts me in a good mood.

When we got there, we heaed inside. We had to be waited to be seated. While waiting, I saw the snobby bitches from my school. They are also the ones who bully me. I guess they noticed us because Nicole came over. Nicole has green eyes and pitch black hair. She has a nice body, you could say. She was someone people would call perfect.

I squeezed Ashton's hand. He looked over and saw Nicole. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Just ignore her." Ashton looked at me and smiled.

"Hey Ashton." She cooed. She took her hand and placed it on his arm. It was like I wasn't even there.

"Hi Nicole." Ashton said with a pained smile.

"What are you doing this weekend? There is a party at Luke's house. I wanted to see if you would go with me." She said. She leaned closer to him and moved her hand to his chest. If I could I would break her arm. But I couldn't.

"Sorry Nicole, I have a girlfriend. You know that. Now if you don't mind, please take your hand off of me. Thank you." He said while grabbing her hand, and pushing it away as if it had a diease or something. And at that moment, Nicole actually noticed me standing right there. She gave me a smirk and started to speak.

" Why would you want to be with her instead of me?" She asked while still staring at me.

"Because I actually like her, and I want to be with her. Not someone like you." Ashton said.

I guess Nicole didn't like what Ashton said because she stomped her foot and walked backed to her table. I stifled a laugh, as was Ashton. At that point, a waiter took us to a table so we could. I was starving!

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