David ran home in tears. He didn’t understand why Pierre had tried to kiss him, or why he hadn’t pulled away.
David ran through his front door and up the steps to his room covered in posters. He jumped on the bed and sobbed uncontrollably for several minutes.
He slowly lifted his head and looked to the bedside table, at the picture of his mom and his sister. He felt that pain in his chest everytime he thought of his mom. He remembered that day….
He shook his head and sat up, rubbing his red eyes. He wanted to call Pierre. But he didn’t. He had a swarm of emotions flooding him and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Then, an idea hit him. He grabbed an old notebook and started writing.
An hour later, all his feelings were on the paper in front of his. He smirked as he realized it was a song. He read over it, quietly sining to himself.
‘I’m taking my time
I’m trying to leave the memories of you behind
I’m gonna be fine
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind
I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you
I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to
But everytime I call you don’t have time
I guess I’ll never get to call you mine
You’re nothing at all, I know theres a million reasons
why I shouldn’t call
With nothing to say, could easily make this
conversation last all day
Another lesson I didn’t get to learn
Your my obsession
I’ve got nowhere to turn’
By the end, David was in tears. He liked Pierre, obviously. There was no hiding it anymore. But everything was going too fast. He hadn’t even known Pierre a week and they’d already almost kissed. And before this moment, David wasn’t even ready to admit to himself that he was gay.
David buried his face in his pillow and sobbed. He knew he’d have to face Pierre eventually. But he couldn’t come out of the closet. Not now. Maybe not ever. He knew how his dad would react. He’d get the beating of a lifetime.
But it would be hard denying his feelings for Pierre. Pierre was so….right. When David was with him he felt a sudden urge of happiness, even though his life was a mess. He felt safe, like his dad would never hurt him again. He felt genuinely happy for the first time since his mom had passed away a year ago.
He screamed into his pillow, and then jumped out of bed to punch the wall. Angry and confused tears stained his beautiful face as he paced around his room, his hand running through his hair many times.
He sighed as he sat in the corner of his room and brought his knees to his chest. Was he gay? Really gay? He didn’t remember having feelings for a boy before Pierre…but he did always find guys very attractive, while girls seemed kind of just…there.
He sighed, and started sobbing yet again. “Fuck.” He whispered in a shaky voice.
There was absolutely no denying it anymore. David Desrosiers was gay. And to top it all off, he had a big time crush on Pierre Bouvier.