When I Go

When I go
I will stay long gone.


4. Why Not?

My body woke me up at four in the morning. Today I was going to start my journey. I planned everything the night before so today is all about playing it cool. Yet, I still can't get the full idea of sleeping. I need sleep to walk, I need energy. 


It was almost 6 and I was still tossing and turning. I even heard talking from the other room. My parents are up, but that doesn't mean I have to be. I take a pillow and smash it over my head and ears.


Is it that necessary to yell at this early in the morning. I don't care about how Mother betrayed you. I tell my father telepathically. It's probably because she went out drinking last night instead of coming straight home. 




I pound those three simple words into my head until I find it effective. In this case, they never do. I just sit dormant until I hear the front door slam shut for a second time.


Father has left, I am alone. 


I jump up and begin to squeal. This is my day. The day I make my own life. The day I get to start over. 

I do a few kicks in the air and fist-pumps before calming myself down. 


Keep it together Maple...just...breathe...


Not sure why, but when I am alone, I have the tendency to talk out loud. It's just what I do.


"Oh heavens, I need to feed Velvet," I walk towards my door but then stop, "but... I also need to pack." I whip around and head to my closet. 


I begin flinging things out, up, and around. 


"I don't want to be cold at night so I need this." I pick up my olive green parka and toss it into a far corner of my room. I now dean that corner the, "to pack corner." 


After a mass about of clothing flung though out my room, I decided that what I had was good enough, and should move on to sundries. 


"Ah yes, toilet paper is a must. Oh so is a brush." I pick the bathroom apart looking for anything that would possibly help me. 


I push back the shower curtain, "And I can't forget soap!" I reach for the bar, and only find a sliver.  Damn. 


I pack up everything in my large book-bag sack thing, and head off to Terho's Shack.


I am about to leave but then I remember that this will be the last time I see this house. As much as hate it here it still holds some sentiment with me. I run my hands along the walls and trail myself back to my parent's room.  


I take in a deep breath, their room always smelled different. I'm not sure what exactly was different, but it was something. I go to my mother's side of the room and look in her mirror. There were dangling things all over the edge of it. I reach out to touch the chains, for being so poor she sill has many elegant necklaces. It is a shame I don't see her wearing any. 

I fondle a box beneath the mirror and open it. Inside the handmade box was a necklace. It was tangled and looked forgotten. The chain was silver and in the tangle was a little rock. It was smoothed and had a interesting swirl to it. 

I took it. 

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