~~It's been a week since it happened. Calum lay in bed, his mind running back on their last days spent together. All the sweet kisses and hugs they shared together, Calum's last words to her, his last look at her, all running through his head. He struggles to stand and face the fact that their house, is now only his house. She's gone, they don't share the house anymore. He wobbled wearily over to her closet and pulls out a pair of her pants. As he holds the article of clothing in front of him, tears fall from his cheeks. Anger and Sorrow fill him as he throws down the pants and runs to the bathroom. He slams the door shut, knowing that doesn't help anything. He opens the shower door to find her shampoo and conditioner. His heart breaks into more pieces as he steps in the shower and turns the water all the way on cold. Sitting down, he takes his phone out of his pocket, and holds it out the shower door to prevent it from getting wet. He quickly scrolls down the contact list until he finds her name, Amanda. He shakily clicked on it and put it on speaker.
After endless rings he finally hears her happy voice, "hey, it's Amanda..."
His voice cuts in, " and Calum... sorry we missed you."
"Leave a message after the beeeeeeeep and we will get back to you ASAP."
Not being able to tell his tears from the ice cold water, he brushed off his face with his hand. He listens to the voice mail five more times until he finally agrees that he has had enough torture.
He quickly threw his phone against the shower tile, sending bits of the screen flying everywhere. Calum was pleased when he picked up the remains of the phone and threw it out the open shower door. His bathroom, now covered in water, was filed with Amanda's things. Her toothbrush and Hair dryer, her makeup and her scarf hanging on the hook. By this time, Calum had stopped crying, even though he didn't think he was done and needed to cry more. He finally came to a conclusion that his head was out of tears. He had been crying non-stop since the accident and hasn't Been out of bed or eaten either. This is the first shower he has had, if this even counts as one, considering the door is open and he is still fully dressed. He finally gathered enough courage to take off his drenched clothes and stand up. He rubbed her shampoo in his hair and quickly washed it out, repeating with the conditioner. Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed a towel and wrapped himself in it. He starred at the figure starring back a him in the mirror. You could see his ribcage and he has lost his six pack. He frowned at how little he had been taking care of himself. Amanda wouldn't have wanted it this way.
"I'm sorry." he said looking up and shrugged when their was no response.
All Calum wanted was to see her one last time and say goodbye. To hug and kiss her before she left. or to be there with her, in the past life. Calum was disappointed when he realised that that isn't possible. He can't see her anymore, or hug and kiss her, or be with her. Calum regretted everything he had said in the fight that they had shared right before it happened. They were in their house and started arguing. She got mad and left. Calum knowing she would be back, didn't chase after her. they fought all the time. Which is what made them the perfect couple. If they never fought then the relationship would just be boring. But, Amanda didn't return. The last words Calum said to her were, "get out. go. just leave."
Calum was only a month away from asking for her to marry him. He had bought a ring and everything. He was going to take her to see her parents in LA and purpose to her their. Her parents knew about it and were going to have her favourite foods for dinner.
Calum couldn't take not being at ease and knowing that she will never come back. He ran into his room and carelessly pulled on some clothes. He drove, horribly, to the cemetery. When he got there he walked over to her grave, fooling with something in his pocket. He bent down, finally a tear raced down his cheek.
"I know I never really told you this, but I love you, more than anybody. I didn't tell you this but when we first started Dating and I took you to my moms... She said we were nothing alike. I just rolled my eyes," a weak laugh escaped through Calum's tears. "But now I realise that she was right. and those endless number of fights we had proved it. you were so determined and dedicated to everything and everybody. But I was ready to turn away or give up on anyone or anything that came my way. okay so I never asked you this... will you marry me?" he let out a long tear filled sigh, " only if you were here to say yes. I had it all planned. I'd take you to your parents, they were in on it too... but now your not here too live that. god I miss you." He said before pulling out a box. He opened it to reveal a gold ring. He dug a little hole with his hands, and placed in the ring.
On the way home, Calum realized that he still didn't fill at ease . Calum started crying when the light turned red and he came to a stop. He opened the glove compartment and pulled out a small picture of Amanda and him holding hands. The light turned green but he didn't move. All he saw was the picture, but he didn't care. all he heard was endless car horns honking at him to move. but he didn't care. All he cared about was Amanda. Only Amanda.