The Only Reason I Have Half a Heart

What happens when two close girls to the one and only, Zayn Malik, joins the boys and 5SOS on tour? Written by myself and a friend.

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4. Chapter Four

*Haniah's POV*

I woke up to the sound of Melissa yelling

"Haniah! Come on! Get up it's 9:00 AM!". I groaned.

" Leave me alone." I said hiding my head under my pillow hoping that she would just leave me be. I think you can see that I'm not a morning person.

"Ok you asked for it." She said. I wonder what she meant by that. Meh. Just then I felt someone throw me over their shoulder.

"Good morning sunshine!"They said. I recognize that voice anywhere. Harry.

"HARRY EDWARD STYLES! LET ME GOOOO!"I yelled.

"Whatever you say love" He said throwing me in to the pool. I could hear him and two other people laughing. Hm... Time for me to play a trick of my own. It's a good thing that I took a big breath of air before I got thrown in. I stayed under. I could hear their conversation very briefly.

"Urm...Zayn? Wasn't Haniah supposed to have come up by now?" Harry asked.

"Yeah... Melissa? Haniah can swim right?" Zayn asked. I could tell he was getting worried.

"Urm... I don't know" Melissa said. "

HOLY SHIT! HANIAH!" Zayn yelled. Just then I popped my head out of the pool

"You called?" I said smirking. I saw the horrified expression on their faces. I got out of the pool and tried to contain my laughter but it was too funny. I literally burst out laughing.

"That was not funny Haniah" Zayn said.

"Well then next time don't throw me in a pool then" I said wiping the tears away from laughing so much. I went to my room to get changed. I showered and changed. As I was reading 'To kill a Mocking Bird' by Harper Lee, someone came in and flopped down on the sofa next to me.

"Wacha 'doin?" They asked.

"I'm reading 'To kill a Mocking bird' By Harper Lee. It has been noted that Harper addresses issues of class,courage and compassion. This book has a lesson that involves learning about tolerance and prejudice"I explained without taking my eyes off the book.

"Wow you really are a geek! You, Melissa and Candice going to a cafe near by to meet up with Elenor, Sophia and Shannon" I looked up to see a smiling Ashton.

"Ok I'm coming" I said getting up my eyes being glued to my book. Me and Ash walked out and went in the elevator.

"So are you gonna keep your head in that book or are you going to talk to me"Ash asked. Not taking my eyes off my book I said

"Hmm... The first option sounds better". We walked out of the elevator and met up with everyone. Zayn grabbed the book out of my hand. "Heyy! Give that back!"I said trying to get it from him but seeing as though he was taller than me It was impossible.

"Why are you reading! We're meant to be having fun!" Zayn said shoving it in my bag.

"Well unlike you SOME of us have University to think about. Mr.I'm in the biggest boy band in the world"I sassed rolling my eyes.

"Your such a geek!" Zayn said playfully.

"And your a moron!"I said just as playfully.

"Hey! watch it! I know your biggest weakness!" He warned.

"Oh yeah? Try me"I said immediately regretting it. Zayn started tickling me. Then Louis and Harry joined in. Then Liam and Niall joined. At this point I was dying and all Ash, Luke, Calum, Micheal, Candice and Melissa did was watch and laugh. "Please.....I....Surrender...."I said between gasps.

Can you die of laughter? Because I think I am.

"Not until you say that you love me the most of of One Direction" Zayn said.

"No! She loves me more!"Niall added.

"NOOO! Haniah loves me more!" Liam Chipped in.

"She loves her LouBear more!"Louis argued.

"She loves me! I'm her Haribo!" Harry said.

"BOYS! LET ME GO!" I shouted silencing them all. "Now I love you all equally! You need to stop these arguments!"I said as soon as they let go. I walked over to a smirking Melissa. "Thank you for helping me"I said sarcastically.

"No problem. Now come on! Me, you and Candice are going to meet Elenor, Sophia and Shannon" Melissa said ushering me and Candice out of the hotel.

"So how long have you and Melissa been friends?"Candice asked.

"We've known each other since primary school. It was in year 2 when Zayn introduced us" I said.

"So have you met the other girls?" Melissa asked Candice.

"No. But I hope they're nice" She said nervously. My nerves were going through the roof.

"So do I" I said nervously. Melissa gave me a weird look.

"Haniah. They're going to love us" She said. Pffft. It's easy for her to say. Everyone loves her. I'm scared of being rejected. I put my headphones on and put my play list on shuffle, trying to block out all my negative thoughts.

We walk inside the cafe so I pulled my headphones down so they wrapped around my neck. We then saw three girls sat at a table. two of them were waving at us to come and join them. The third was just sat there rolling her eyes. Nice. We walked over to them.

"Hi! I'm Elenor. Louis' girlfriend" She said smiling. Elenor had brown curly hair that reached just past her shoulders and she had dark brown eyes.

"Hi! I'm Sophia Liam's girlfriend" Said the other one smiling just as widely. Sophia had brownish hair that was mid-back length and her eyes were also dark brown.

"Hi i'm Shannon. Niall's Girlfriend" The one who rolled her eyes said. She had mid-back length blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Hi! I'm Melissa! I'm Zayn's bestfriend" Melissa said smiling.

"Hi! I'm Candice. I'm Micheal's Girlfriend" Candice said. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"Oh...Urm...Hi! I'm Haniah, Zayn's Cousin"I said trying to smile. I couldn't because I was so nervous. We were talking for quite a while. the girls were coming to stay with us so we could all travel as a group so no one would get lost. Melissa looked at her watch

"Shit! It was really nice meeting you guys but we have to run! See you at the hotel?" Melissa asked as me and Candice were getting up.

"Bye!" Sophia and Elenor said while Shannon muttered something under her breath. We walked out and I put my headphones back on.

"Well they seemed nice" Melissa said as we were walking back to the hotel. Candice nodded in agreement.

"Hmm....But Shannon wasn't exactly sunshine and roses" I muttered. We walked up to our room and I immediately sat on the desk and got my notebook out.

"Melissa! Did you give my application to Oxford!" I asked as she entered the room.

"No" She said.

"Ok good because I want to write an essay about why I want to go. Y'know to increase my chances of getting in" I said. Getting in to Oxford University would be a dream come true for me.

"Haniah. They're totally going to accept you. Your the smartest person I know. Well exept me of course" She said rolling her eyes.

"Well I'm going to the arcade anyone wanna come?" Candice asked.

"Me!" Melissa said.

"Urm.. No it's Ok I have an essay I need to write" I said.

"Geek" Melissa said playfully.

"Grandma" I said just as playfully as they left. Ok I need this essay. This could be my chances of getting in to the best University I know of. But what to write.....

*Ashton's POV*

We walked back in to the hotel from our little walk.

"Hey let's go to the arcade!" Micheal said. Everyone mumbled a 'yes' but I kinda didn't want to go.

"You guys go ahead...I....Urm don't really feel like it" I said. They gave me a weird look and walked off. I went to Haniah's room because I knew she would be there. I knocked.

"It's open!" She yelled. I opened the door to see her writing something vigorously.

"Hi" She said not even looking up from her notebook.

"Hey" I said awkwardly. A second later she ripped the page out and scrunched it up and failed to throw it in the bin, letting it land on the floor.

"Why am I so stupid" She muttered.

"You're the cleverest I know" I said. She literally jumped out of her skin.

"God! I forgot you were here" She said.

"So what were you writing?" I asked sitting next to her.

"An essay" She said.

"For...." I trailed off wanting more details.

"For my Oxford University application. I want to go there more than anything in the world" She said sounding sad. I went over and picked up the paper and read it.

"Haniah? Why do you worry so much about life?" I asked. She was clearly taken aback by my question but shrugged it off.

"I'm not the type of person that 'lives in the moment' Ok? I plan out my life step by step" She sighed. She flopped on the sofa groaning. "But I'm such a failure that I couldn't even pull together one essay!" She said. I sat next to her

"Maybe planning your life isn't everything. Maybe you should just take a chance. Don't write an essay. They will totally accept you" I said. She looked at me. Something flashed in her eyes. Disappointment?

"Do you know how it feels to have an expectancy bar raised so high for you that you struggle to succeed? Worrying that you might fall and not be able to get back up? Yeah story of my life" She said. Yeah I did know how it felt for people to have high expectations.

"Yeah" I said.

"Yeah what?" She said clearly confused.

"Yeah I know what it's like to get pressured by peoples high expectations. Sometimes you feel like your not good enough" I said sighing.

"Yes exactly" She said. Then she looked at me as if she just remembered something.

"Ash?" She said but it came out more like a question.

"Yes" I said.

"Ash take off your bracelets" She said softly. I was going to answer but Melissa, Candice and the guys came back with 3 other girls. One was with Louis, one was with Niall and the other was with Liam.

"Ashton meet Elenor , Shannon and Sophia" Harry said introducing us. I got up and shook their hands, not wanting to be rude. "Ok so here's the sleeping arrangements : Louis and Elenor , Liam and Sophia , Niall and Shannon , Zayn and Melissa , Me and Luke and Calum , Ashton and Haniah" Harry said. We all mumbled 'Ok's' and moved our luggage around. Me and Haniah were walking when Melissa came by and asked Haniah

"Have you finished your essay?" Haniah looked at me, took a deep breath and said

"I'm not writing one. If they don't accept me it's they're loss". Melissa's eyes widened.

"Thank God. Haniah you're finally taking a risk for once!" She said. When we reached mine and Haniah's room Melissa said she had to go and make sure Zayn didn't trash the place. We opened the door and I flopped down on one of the two double beds.

"Um Ash?" Haniah asked. She was biting her lip which I have noticed she only does when she is nervous.

"Yeah Haniah?" I said lifting my face from the pillow and adjusting myself so I was sat on the bed. She sat next to me, her soft brown eyes piercing in to my hazel ones.

"Please take your bracelets off" She said calmly. I sighed. If I was to open up to someone I would rather open up to Haniah. I don't know why. She just seems like she would understand me. I slowly peeled off my bracelets, showing my ugly past in scar form. Her eyes went softer, if that was even possible since her eyes already looked soft. She pulled me in to a hug and I ended up telling her everything, like the fact that when my Dad left my Mum.

I was like a Dad to my little brother Harry and little sister Lauren. It was so hard because I felt like if I made one wrong move everything will just come crumbling down. How I never had anyone to talk to and within time my feelings had always been bottled up. Eventually the bottle overflowed and I couldn't deal with it anymore. She just sat and listened. Her brown eyes were mesmerizing. Normally brown eyes are boring but not hers.

"So why do you live with Melissa? I mean isn't 19 a little young to live with someone other than family?" I asked curiously.

"Well after my granddad died my grandma was getting sick. She developed Schizophrenia, it is a disease where you hear and see things that are not there. My parents thought it was best to move to London and look after her. I didn't want to go so I moved in with Melissa" She said like it was no big deal. I couldn't help but notice her eyes slightly water when she mentioned her granddad.

"Where you close to him? Your granddad I mean" I asked. She nodded as tears formed in her eyes. "It's fine. Don't fear the tears" I said pulling her into a hug.

"He was my everything. He was the reason that I am still here and now he is gone" She said silently crying into my shirt.

"What do you mean 'He's the reason your still here' ?" I asked. She sighed and sat next to me.

"When I was about 9 My best friend, Bradley, told me he had Leukemia. It was my first suicide attempt. When I was about 13 he was in critical condition. I couldn't see him until the weekend because school started and he lived in London. He died before I could see him. I felt like I had no place in this world now. But my granddad told me that if I died he would kill himself. He was healing me. But then he died from a stroke. This is the reason I try so hard in life. To make them both proud. That's why my expectancy bar is raised so high" She said. The tears just streamed down her face. That is how she was so understanding. She had experienced loss.

"I am going to get ready for bed Ok?" She said making her way to the bathroom after grabbing some clothes. I threw on some night clothes and waited until Haniah finished so I could brush my teeth. I was looking around when something caught my eye. It was a dark purple scrap book. I opened it to see photos. Lots of them. But one in particular. It was of Haniah and another boy. He had a blonde quiff and bright green eyes that had specks of blue in them. I assumed that this was Bradley. Haniah was on his back. They looked about 11 years old. They looked so happy.

"We were 11 years old" Haniah said from behind me, scaring the life out of me. She took the book and smiled at the photo.

"Are you mad? That I found your photos?" I asked. If it was me I would be upset.

"No. Because this is my past and you already know it" She said smiling as she put the book down. I went and brushed my teeth as soon as I came out I saw Haniah in front of the mirror belting out the lyrics to 'American Idiot' By Green Day using her hair brush as a microphone. I just stood leaning against the door frame smirking. When she finished I clapped causing her to jump and turn around. she turned around and looked shocked for a second then blushed bright pink.

"How long were you there for?" She asked embarrassed.

"After the first verse. And you are quite a singer" I said as Haniah made her way to her bed and did a running jump causing her to fall off of the bed.

"Ow. Geez. Meh fuck it I am tired" She said almost shrugging off the pain. I laughed at her gesture and turned the lights out. I got in to bed and whispered

"Goodnight Haniah".

"Goodnight Ash. sweet dreams" She whispered back. As I was about to drift off to sleep I heard quiet giggling coming from Haniah's direction.

"Haniah!?" I whisper yelled.

"Yeah!?" She whisper yelled back.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Watching Youtube videos" She replied showing me her phone. There was a guy with a white skin complexion and a black/brown fringe. "DanIsNotOnFire. He is hilarious" She said giggling slightly and maybe just...fangirling? I just laughed quietly and let sleep consume me.

*Haniah's POV*

I woke up. Alone. There was no one here.

"Hello?" I said. There was nothing but darkness. I grabbed my phone and put the torch light.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I said even louder. I heard footsteps. Closer and closer until I was pretty sure that whoever it is...Is stood right behind me. I wanted to turn around but my feet froze. I was hoping, praying it isn't who I thought it was.

"Hello Babe. It's been a while don't you think?" I could recognize that voice anywhere. I spun around to see Darren and Carlos. I tried to run but Darren was too fast for me he pinned me down and covered my mouth as I tried to scream for help.

"No one is going to help you. Why do you think you are all alone? They don't care. Your too much for them too handle. No one can save you now..." I woke up to someone lightly shaking me. My eyes shot open to see a worried Ashton.

"A-ash. I...I saw him" I said shaking violently. Ash pulled me in to a hug.

"It's fine ok. We are all going to be here for you" He whispered. I was almost about to doze off when I realized Ash started to get up.

"Ash?" I said. He turned around in surprise, as if he thought I as asleep. "Please stay. don't go" I said. I don't want to be alone , especially after that nightmare.

"Ok" He said smiling slightly.I rested my head on his chest as he hummed the tune to 'Wake me up when September ends' by Green Day. I think it's fair to say that we are both in love with that band. with Ashton lying with me , his arm wrapped securely around my waist, I felt safe. Like no one in the world could hurt me, I have never felt like this before. Before long Ashton was asleep. I looked up at him admiring his facial features. Wow Haniah that sounded kinda creepy! He looks so peaceful. I smiled to myself and eventually dozed off into slumber...

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