Peter and Brian in 'Sheep Movie'

From the creators of 'Scary Movie', 'Date Movie' and 'Epic Movie', here comes the next in the series: 'Sheep Movie' an adaption of 'A Close Shave', with characters from 'Family Guy', 'American Dad' and 'The Cleveland Show' playing 'Wallace and Gromit' characters. First published on Fanfiction.net on 31/05/2010, but revised and updated for Wallace and Gromit's 20th Anniversary.

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5. Chases and Battles

Wallace and Gromit, who was now in his sidecar, were on the road driving as fast as the speed limit would let them.
   “We lost them!” yelled Wallace, but a beep behind showed him that he was dead-as-a-doornail wrong. Behind him was the green van catching up with them!
   “How did that happen?” asked Wallace.
   “They must’ve hid and let us pass!” answered Gromit. “But why?”
   But, as if there wasn’t enough trouble, Inspector Gadget arrived in his Gadgetmoblie besides the motorbike and sidecar.
   “Here we go, Inspect G!” cried the Gadgetmoblie. “Dog and owner racing down the street for no reason.”
   “Sir, kindly pull over!” ordered the Inspector.
   “But we’re being chased by the green lorry behind us!” Gromit told them.
   “Sir, kindly pull over!” ordered the Inspector again.
   “WHAT PART OFF ‘WE'RE BEING CHASED BY THE GREEN LORRY BEHIND US’ DID YOU NOT UNDSTAND?” shouted Gromit as the top of his lungs.
   “Sir, kindly pull over!” repeated the Inspector again.
   “Wallace, you tell him!” Gromit snapped.
   “We’re being chased by the green lorry behind us!” Wallace told the Inspector.
   The Inspector turned around and the green lorry pushed the Gadgetmobile away.
   “Do something, Gadgetmobile!” yelled Inspector Gadget.
   “Like what?”
   “Er, Go-Go Gadget brakes!” With a sudden and sharp jeer, the car stopped. “All right, we did it!” cheered the Inspector.
   “You mean I did it,” moaned the Gadgetmoblie, who had crashed into the rocks.


Meanwhile, the green lorry bumped the motorcycle and it was going for another when – It span around telephone lines on the road (due to Gromit who caught the lines with his hands and made the motorcycle spin around to avoid the van). Now it was them following the green van. But soon the motorcycle was broken in dos, due to the lost bolt that sealed it all together.
   “Gromit! What have you done?” yelled Wallace as Gromit’s sidecar drove into a different direction.
   Gromit saw he was coming to a cliff! He tried to stop it, but he went over, as did Indiana Jones and Colonel Vogel fighting on the tank.
   Gromit saw he was coming to the ground from 2000 feet and it didn’t look good. Gromit pushed the buttons – all of them – in his sidecar and his sidecar was no more… a sidecar, but a small plane!
   Gromit pulled the levers up and Indy saw what was happening so his whip caught the plane and was sent up, leaving Vogel and the tank to crash.
   On the edge of the cliff, Indy’s father, Henry Jones Sr., Sallah and Marcus Bordy were mourning for Indy. Then Indy was dropped to them and they gave Gromit a salute, as he took off in the air.
   “You're all right, Junior!” cried Henry Sr, hugging his son.
   Indy pushed him away. “NOT IF YOU KEEP CALLING ME 'JUNIOR', I'M NOT!” he yelled, threatening to jump on purpose.


Meanwhile, while on the same track, Wallace had caught with the green van. The ladder Gromit had put up was in front of him and he climbed it to try to release the van open.
   “Wallace, help me!” yelled Wendolene.
   “Yeah, help us, Wallace!” yelled the sheep.
   “What the hell do you think I'm doing?” yelled back Wallace. He reached the lever and opened the door. But he fell down with the door and the ladder was now vertical.
   “Me first!” cried Shaun as he trotted out.
   “Be careful, Shaun!” shouted Wendolene.
   “Hey, what are we waiting for?” asked Sanders.
   “Let’s go!” Jackson ordered.
   And they all did, much to Wallace’s annoyance.
   “Steady on! Single file!” yelled Wallace.
   But, of course, no one listened to him.
   “SINGLE FILE, I SAID!” Wallace repeated. Suddenly, he sprang into the air with the ladder. He looked down and saw the motorcycle was driven by Shaun and the rest of the flock was like a scrunched-up ball. “Oh, get yourselves organized down there!” he yelled.
   Suddenly, Wendolene was dead shocked and Preston was surprised at what he saw in his mirrors. The circus must be in town, because there was a sheep driving the motorcycle with a man and a flock of sheep standing on the ladder as if they were wing walking… on the road.
   Up in the air, Gromit had caught up with them.
   “What can I use to stop that van?” Gromit asked himself. He searched his plane and found a box of porridge, but found it empty. The only thing he could find was a bunch of sheep leftovers. “I suppose it’ll have to do,” Gromit sighed, putting his helmet and goggles on. He flew down.
   Wallace and the sheep saw him and gave him a salute. Gromit returned the salute and maintained his position.
   Wallace and the sheep looked on ahead and saw there was a tunnel coming their way. “Watch out, guys!” Wallace warned.
   “What shall we do?” asked Dick.
   “Well, I’m not changing places! I’m driving!" yelled a difficult Shaun.
   “Let’s get into a scrunched-up ball!” suggested Meg.
   “No! Let’s play Captain Scarlet!” suggested Barry.
   Everyone was arguing and fighting that they didn’t know they were in a ball already and they managed to get past the tunnel. But they went on so much that they didn’t know the van had slowed down and they went into the van.
   “If you weren’t fighting, I would have stopped!” moaned Shaun.
   Preston felt like he was winning. Then sheep muck entered the lorry. He saw Gromit coming in, firing sheep muck all over the lorry. “Take crap, you feathered bastard!” shouted Gromit, firing at will.
   But Preston wasn’t easily beaten. He closed all the windows. “Beat that, loser!” he yelled, as he jerked the van towards Gromit’s plane to push him further.
   Gromit fell for it and was very close to hitting the clock tower. In the nick of time, he pulled up and soared to the sky.
   Nearby, Preston sneaked into a billboard called Bob the Baker’s buns. It opened and went through, unseen by an unseen flying Gromit in the sky, who was looking for them.


Inside the factory, Wallace, Wendolene and the sheep were in a truck and moving. They didn’t know where they were heading, but Wallace soon found out.
   “Where the hell did you get that from?” he demanded. He saw a copy of his knit-o-matic, under Preston’s name. “That’s my machine! I’ve got pedant pending on that!”
   “Now you know how I feel about how Walt Disney took the credit for Mickey Mouse… who was my creation!” exclaimed the ghost version of Ub Iwerks.
   Then they were all thrown into the tub, except Shaun who managed to climb out and walked away. The rest of the gang was being washed exactly like Wallace’s machine.
   “You like that, huh?” asked Preston. “You’ll love the next bit!” He pulled down the rope and the chute came down.
   “Looks like this is going to be some ride!” cheered Francine.
   “That doesn’t look like a hot water slide!” said Donna.
   “It’s not, unless your feathered bastard pet changed it!” yelled Wallace to a glaring Wendolene.
   Preston pulled down the lever and Wallace was being snuck up. He was pulled down by Wendolene, who was trying to stop Wallace being pulled up. The sheep was screaming as they hold on the edge of the tub for safety.
   “Where’s Gromit?” asked Wallace.
   “Shaun, do something!” yelled Wendolene.
   “No, I don’t think I will,” said Shaun selfishly. “It’s a good show. I don’t want it to end.” He laughed hysterically and fell back down, accidentally switching the lights on.


Outside, Gromit was having no luck at all. Not even with the help of three X-Wings from Rouge Squadron was any use. Then the lights from the factory tower came on saying ‘PRESTON’S DOG FOOD’.
   “I see it,” said Luke Skywalker.
   “Not so fast, Luke,” ordered Gromit. “Take Red Two and Three and hold up here and wait for my signal to start your run.”
   With that, Gromit made his plane dive through the wooden doors, bringing the wings in. He made his way through the next metal door, bringing the wings in, and the brick wall, which chopped the wings off. “Oh, damn! Too late!” he groaned.
   But he quickly focused on flying to Preston and firing sheep crap at him.
   “Attaboy, Gromit!” cheered Wallace, before getting sheep crap in his mouth. “How could you leave this stuff everywhere?” he moaned to the sheep.
   Gromit was getting too close to Preston that the evil chicken grabbed the propeller. That sent Gromit spinning around and sending him straight up into the roof.
   “You guys can’t fight for yourselves so I must do everything myself!” Shaun came down and grabbed the rope. He pulled it, letting Wallace out and causing him to make a splash big enough to send the sheep out of the tub.
   Preston was pulled into the tube and sucked into the dryer, followed by the shearing part.
   Gromit woke up and realized what was going on. He grabbed a rope, tied it to a metal pole and reached down to the control panel, switching it ‘Light Shave’ to ‘Close Shave’.
   “Well done, Gromit!” cheered Wallace. “That’ll teach the old bastard!”
   “You know, he’s still my pet chicken!” shouted Wendolene angrily. All she, he and the sheep could do was watch his feathers being turned into some sort of Native American jacket. Everything seemed to be winning for Wallace and Gromit and their team, until the machine made a lot of banging noises and everything was stopped and mega silent as golden silence.
   “He’s malfunctioning!” spat out Wendolene.
   “Mal – what?” asked Wallace.
   “Malfoy, Harry Potter’s nemesis,” said Wendolene.
   “Really?”
   “No! Malfunctioning!”
   “I thought Lord Voldemort was the Harry's main antagonist,” said Wallace, scratching his head.
   “Preston is cyber chicken,” continued Wendolene.
   Wallace was still puzzled. “Cyber what?”
   “A robot chicken!” explained Wendolene.
   “Yeah!” cheered Chris. Everyone look suspicious at him. “What? The guy who voices me created that show!”
   Then the door opened and out came Preston in his naked, featherless, metal body, snarling.
   “No, I didn’t create that!” confessed Chris.
   The metal git stalked over to Shaun. Shaun got up and pulled his fists up. “Pull ‘em up! Pull ‘em up!” cried Shaun. “I’ll fight with one arm behind my back! I’ll fight you standing on one foot! I’ll fight you with my eyes closed!”
   When he did, Preston made his move! But he missed due to Gromit pulling him up to the roof.
Shaun opened his eyes. “Oh, it’s you. Saving my life. I’m very grateful… I guess.”
   Back below, Preston turned his eyes to the sheep. But Steve, Snot, Toshi, Barry, Chris and Cleveland Jr. stepped out.
   “It’s morphin’ time!” cried Steve. Then they morphed into the Power Sheep Rangers. Steve the Red Ranger drew his power sword and charged for Preston. Preston kicked him in the face and knocked him to the wall.
   Snot the Black Ranger with his power daggers charged for Preston, but the daggers got stuck in the metal skin and the chicken swiped him to the other sheep.
   Cleveland Jr. the Yellow Ranger and Chris the Pink Ranger (he was the pink ranger because it was the only colour left for him) with their power spears charged for the metal chicken, but Preston dodged them and the rangers landed on the floor, hanging on the floor.
   Toshi the Green Ranger and Barry the Orange Ranger with their bows and arrows fired at Preston, but the arrows missed him. He caught them and fired the arrows at the rangers and trapped them at the wall.
   Then laser shots were being fired at Preston from the air. There were two vipers from the sky.
   “Kara Thrace reporting for duty,” said Francine, dressed like the hot-shot pilot.
   “All right,” joined in Quagmire, dressed as the original Lieutenant Starbuck.
   “What are you doing?” asked Francine.
   “Your job!” pointed out Quagmire.
   “Are there two Starbucks?” asked Francine.
   Then both vipers were shot down. Both Francine and Quagmire ejected.
   Preston blew on his shotgun he had just fired. “All right, who’s next?”
   “Us!” Preston turned around and saw Meg, Hayley and Roberta dressed out as what they’re calling themselves ‘Wallace’s Angels’. They charged, but Preston grabbed Hayley by the arm and threw her to the wall. Roberta had better luck, kicking him in his face and in his stomach. But Preston grabbed her hair and threw her behind him. Meg threw oil on him and lit him up. It seemed to work, but he wasn’t dying. Meg avoided his blow.
   The rest of the sheep tried out their heroes, including Jack Bauer, John Locke, The A-Team, The Unit, Robin Hood, King Arthur, and all they could do, but Preston was no match.
   They were forced to give up, but the two dresser mark robots arrived with the feathered jacket and quickly swiped it over Preston.
   “How could you work for a bastard like him?” asked Wallace angrily.
   “He offered us good money,” answered the dresser robot mark one. “Which is more than you ever offered!”
   But that wasn’t over for Preston yet. He walked forward and lifted up a lever. Suddenly, he, Wallace, Wendolene and all of the sheep were on a platform being lifted up. Wallace saw something that was not part of his version of the machine.
   “Ah, it’s a sheep mincing thing,” said Wallace, as he saw Preston’s machine that had a huge set of spiked rollers. “Now, that’s clever!”
   “I don’t see what’s so clever about mincing sheep?” asked Meg.
   “Yeah!” agreed  Hayley.
   Wallace took his ‘Wallace’ uniform off. “Shut up, Meg!” snapped Peter Griffin, as he put his Wallace uniform back on.
   “And, Hayley,” joined in Stan, “you keep your damn mouth shut about stuff you don’t understand!”
   “Guys, gangway!” Gromit called.
   Everyone turned to see Gromit swinging down, crying his Tarzan cry. He pushed Preston onto the conveyor belt. Preston ripped his feathered shirt off and saw Gromit.
   “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you couldn’t stay in your prison cell,” said Preston evilly. “Well, I’ll do this the quick and painless – ”
   “Actually,” interrupted Gromit, pointing behind Preston, “it’s you who are going to get eaten, not me.”
   Preston turned around and was shocked to believe that the mutt was absolutely right! He was getting nearer the spikes!
   Wallace was trying to get the belt to stop, but, when he pressing the buttons, all he was doing was making the belt go faster, go uphill and go past ring hoops of fire!
   “Do something, Wallace!” yelled Wendolene.
   “What do you think I’m doing, nothing?” yelled Wallace.
   Without looking, he was messing with the controls and then the platform went forward, tipping himself, Wendolene and all of the sheep onto the belt.
   “Nice going, Wally!” yelled Terry the sheep.
   “I never had to run this fast since the Major Leagues!” panted Coach Charles McFall.
   Shaun saw what was happening and he liked what he was seeing. He leaned in closer to get a better look, but he didn’t focus on what he was holding – which was a rope with an anvil. He fell down and screamed like Tarzan! He was heading straight for the conveyor belt.
   Wendolene saw him incoming. “Duck!” she yelled.
   “Where?” asked Wallace.
   “Here!” exclaimed Donald Duck, who was running next to him.
   “No! Over Here!” yelled Daffy Duck, who was running on the left-hand side of Wallace.
   “No! Me!”
   “No! Me!”
   Then Wallace and the ducks both ducked down to avoid Shaun. He didn’t hit Gromit or any of the sheep, but Preston didn’t get out of his way. And the metal chicken bastard let out his last squawk as he was sent into the spikes. The machine had stopped completely but not enough time for the runners to stop, so they ran off the belt and landed on… seats! In a live-action Comic-Con room.
   They looked up and saw Nick Park and Seth MacFarlane on the stage.
   “I am pleased to announce that me and Nick here are about to make a movie together,” announced MacFarlane.
   “Yes,” agreed Park. “I glad I’m doing a movie for Britons and Americans.”
   Park and MacFarlane laughed at this. As did Wallace, Gromit, Wendolene and the sheep.
   “I thought we were all for the can then!” sighed Wallace.


But, back in the Preston’s factory, one person was. Whose parts that once belong to a giant metal chicken was being poured in the Preston's Dog Food cans?

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