I'm so bad for keeping a pattern, I'm sorry x3 I need to invest in a laptop of my own so I can upload more often
I swallowed my medication, cringing at the taste, still horrified at what I had discovered yesterday. The nightmares were unbearable.
I sighed. No wonder Hugo was mums favourite. He was in no way related to James, and what more could mum really want?
I sat in my lecture, my mums diary feeling like a ton of bricks in my bag. I wish she hadn't written any of this down. I really wish I hadn't found the damned thing. But I knew I couldn't stop here, with so many unanswered questions. I'd go even more insane than I already was.
I walked out of the lecture room, not knowing whether to feel angry, upset, or scared.
"Hello!" came an overly chirpy voice.
"Oh.. It's you again" I said to an overly chirpy Jake.
"Don't sound too happy.." he said, obviously taken aback.
"Sorry" I frowned, shaking my head. "It's not you. Just.. In a bit of a crap time right now. Just.. some.. stuff" I struggled to articulate what was going on.
He simply nodded, no questions asked. I felt some form of relief. I felt.. Oddly comfortable. It was strange. Jake seemed to be the exact opposite of me, happy, excitable, overly friendly.. Much like a puppy. But he was a puppy from a pound. He had a past which had left a mark, which, as awful as it sounds, made me feel comfortable with him, and connect with him in a way. He wasn't like other people. He knew what it felt like. Most importantly, he understood.
"Want to come to the student lounge thingy?"
"Might as well."
He wryly smiled.
We walked into, as Jake described, the student lounge thingy. A palace for student socialisation and relaxation!
Where most people have mental breakdowns trying to cram for finals.
Jake sat opposite me, drinking a fizzy drink.
Fizzy drink. It sounded weird. Soda sounded more clean, as a shorter word, but it was highly Americanised, sounding equally as funny.
"Earth to Clodagh" Jake smiled.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"I hate that expression."
Jake rolled his eyes and smiled.
Clodagh, he's only a person, I snapped to myself, catching myself to notice his looks.
Only a person... I wavered.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to say that he was nothing special. Not when his eyes crinkled, chocolate swimming in his pupils, his face gleaming when he grinned. I just couldn't do it, and I wanted to kick myself.