The Recovery

~Sequel to The Accident~ Though a sequel, you do not necessarily need to read The Accident first to understand this story; Clodagh, years after her brother and step sisters suicide, is still struggling to move on. To help with her therapy, she delves into the past and uncovers horrifying truths about her family. In the midst of her investigation, she meets someone almost as broken as she is. But what if family history repeats itself? And is she even ready to bring her walls down and let anyone in?


4. Chapter 2

I listened intently to my lecture, trying not to spin my swivel chair from side to side so I didn't get distracted and lost in the oblivion of my thoughts. I very much loved my course of zoology. I loved anything to do with animals. Animals couldn't speak and therefore can't hurt me. Sure, they could bite and scratch, but that was only ever out of nervousness.

I never heard of an animal committing suicide.

Sometimes my anger was overwhelming, and like a person with anxiety, I didn't always know who I was angry with. I wasn't sure if it was Lacey for pushing Hugo and Emily to their deaths, James for making the situation a hundred times worse, or was the anger directed at Emily and Hugo for killing themselves.

I once lost it at their graves, and I screamed at them, wanting to know why they left me. After spitting out profanities and kicking their headstones, I'd go quiet. And I'd remember that they must have been in a horrific state of mind to kill themselves, and that they'd hardly think about me then. I was hardly important to them.


Any joy I had was drowned as I willed myself closer and closer to my counselling appointment. I went to keep my aunt happy that I was somehow dealing with my depression, mourning and anger.

"So Clodagh, how are you today?" asked both the condescending and understanding Dr. Kohli.

"Grand, I suppose" I sighed in boredom.

He scanned his notes.

Still don't remember anything about me, huh?

"So last time we discussed your father. Is that a topic you'd like to continue to discuss, or would you like to talk about something else, or maybe some art therapy, maybe?"

I clenched my jaw in frustration.

Art therapy? How old was I, five? *

"I want to talk, as usual" I said in a passive aggressive manner.

"Ok, Clodagh. I think it would be good to focus on your anger."

Smart ass.

"Who are you angry with today?"

"My mum" I decided, after a pause.

"Your mum?" he frowned, shifting in his seat. "That's new" he added curiously.

I instantly felt uncomfortable under his intense stare, like I was a celebrity who was giving out too much information to a gossip magazine.

"Your mum never met Emily, am I correct?" he prodded after I stayed silent, using pointless hand gestures.

I shook my head.

"Then where's the anger coming from?"

"She was a fool" I said softly. I didn't want to insult a dead woman who couldn't defend herself, but I wanted to make sense of my thoughts. "She let herself fall in love.. With a monster. And then she didn't tell Hugo who he was or where he was from.. I mean, who does that? He was bullied for years because everyone believed her lie."

I felt strangely calm at the realisation my mum was the root to these problems, the reason Hugo and Emily killed themselves.. The woman Hugo loved more than anyone..

I don't think I'd develop hatred for her, but I was surprised at my serenity.

I'm sure I'll be furious later.

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