Losing It // z.m

“What would you say if I offered you my virginity?"
Mischievous. Adamant. Curious.
What else is there to describe a girl on a mission?

Warning: Graphic scenes / Adult language


8. Chapter 6

Double upload!!


I slowly turned my head up at Zayn and chewed at my bottom lip. His eyes were narrowed at me and his lips were thinned into a straight line.


“I-I…um. Y-You’re a really good artist.”


He groaned and reached over, snatching the book away and tossing it into his passenger seat. He removed himself from on top of me and got out of the car. I sat up and watched him walk around the car through the windows.


He opened his driver door and got in. “Get out.”


At a lost for words I nervously put a piece of my hair behind my ear. 



“Get out” he repeated, his voice even, which scared me even more. Without even bothering to look for my panties, I opened his back door and got out. 


I stood but a few feet away from his car and since his window was down I struggled to at least say his name.

When I did say it, he responded with the reeve of his engine and leaving.


What. The. Hell?




At school that next day I felt…weird. Like rejected in some type of way. I didn’t even try to message Zayn last night just because I was too proud. My stupid fucking pride wouldn’t let me. It sucked…it really did. 


At lunch, sitting with Autumn, another friend of ours, Nala, was starring me down.

“What?” I nervously laughed.


“Did you really…sleep with Zayn?”


I nearly froze, then cut my gaze to Autumn who looked down at her food. “You told” I accused.


“It’s just Nala” she shrugged.


“Autumn! That was between us.


“It just came out yesterday. I thought she had the right to know. She’s our friend.”


“No” I gritted out. As if a lightbulb went off in my head I came to the conclusion that..my friends could be some real bitches. Autumn and I had built our friendship on a common interest and for her…it dwindled. Nala became my friend and we were cool. Somehow by the power of me being locked in my room an entire holiday break, they became best friend.


They tell each other everything and lately I’ve felt like a third wheel. I’d blame my recluse ways if I cared but sadly…I don’t.

They can have each other. Nala with her hypocritical ass and Autumn…Autumn who I thought was my friend but we just don’t fit.

The bitch told my business to someone else and she thinks it’s okay? Hell no. That’s not okay. Orion is so much better on her own anyway.


“You know what?” I said, standing from my seat. “I don’t need this bullshit and I definitely don’t need the two of you.”


“What are you-“ Nala started to say but I cut her off.


“Shut up! It’s come to the point where the sound of your voice annoys the hell out of me. You’re such a fucking hypocrite and I don’t deal with that.”


“How am I a hypocrite?”


“Ask the last guy you talked to. I’m sure they know.”


I turned and left out of caf.

Their Virgin Mary selves. Ugh!


“Sex? That’s nasty.”

“I’m not a hoe.”

“Her shorts are too short. Slut.”

“I’m not that type of girl.”


Ahhhh!!! I don’t even know why I stuck around for so long. 


Now in the building—deciding to get caught up on some lunch tutoring— I see Zayn.


This fucking bitch.


I pull out my phone and act like I’m actually doing something productive. 


Every step closer I feel as if the hallway has closed. 




I groan…not sure for what reason. Maybe because my battery died or because this bitch was attempting to grab my arm.

I stepped farther away from him as I continued to walk by him…completely ignoring him.


Third period was dreadful. When I went up to solve a problem on the board some idiotic guy coughed ‘whore’ and nearly everyone laughed.


My head hung low the rest of the day and I just…I wanted to know how people knew. Probably Nala with her gossiping ass.


I was on my way to my car when from across the fucking parking lo I could see bright red paint spray on it.




My god…why? My car though? I ran towards it and gasped at how much worse it looked up close. 


People either gasped or smiled as they passed, sharing looks of empathy of plain laughter.


I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a shaky breath. I’m not gonna cry.


“Do you wanna ride in mine or something.?


I looked up to see Zayn by his car, his brows knitted together. 

It made my blood simmer.


“Oh…Now you wanna let me in your car?” I sarcastically stated. “You’re actually gonna let me sit in it? Am I allowed to look around it too?” I said in mock excitement. Then my voice went hard and croaky. “No. I rather ride in this alleged ‘Slut Mobile’ then get in your car. I might discover some dark secret, right?”


He was silent.


I scoffed and opened my car door before angrily plopping in.


This is bullshit. Complete bullshit.




Ranting to my mom about bullying wasn’t the brightest idea. Of course I didn’t tell her what the kids were harassing me about but she still got pissed off saying she was going to complain to the principal if it happened again. 


I didn’t understand how people could be so…mean. I was opinionated, yes, but never would I express it to an extent to hurt someone. 


I could barely sleep mainly because I didn’t know what to expect the next day at school. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that nothing would go wrong. 


I had a feeling that whoever was up there wasn’t necessarily only my side.




“Hey, Orion!” 


I didn’t even want to turn around, knowing it was the group of asshole guys in my Bio class. 


“Hold up. We just wanna talk.”


I swiftly stopped and turned around biting out “What?”


The guy who’s name I always seem to forget had his lithe posy with him, all wolf grinning. 


“Is it true?”


“Is what true.”


“I heard Zayn put in work” he snickered.


I angrily bit at my lip, the hissed out, “Who told you that?”


“Heard it from my sister her heard it from one of her little friends.”


I groaned and brought out my phone, angrily texting Autumn.

-We need to talk, now!-


“But, uh, maybe we can get together some time. I heard you were real…rowdy.”


“Screw you!” I turned and stormed off.


“Anytime, sweetheart.”




I didn’t know I could brake so easily. I skipped third to hide away in my car and cry. I did just that.


I just…who the hell would think that…ugh!

I am not the one to sleep around. I don’t just go around giving sexual favors. 

I heard the school bell ring and it nearly made me jump, that or the fact that someone quickly rapped on my window, then yanked my door open.


“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”


I looked up with teary eyes to see Zayn.


I got out the car and slammed the door behind me. “Who did you tell?”




“Did you tell anyone about us? About what we did?”


I stared at him in disbelief when he dropped his gaze to the ground and mumbled, “I might’ve told someone.”


“You asshole!”


He looked up, “Orion-"


“Because of you I’m the one getting shit vandalized, I’m the one being asked for fucking favors!”


“You told people too!”


“I told one person. My friend. I could just imagine you telling everybody just so you could sound cool for once.”


“You have the fucking nerve, Orion. You’re the one wanting to spread your legs so you could fit in!”


“Fuck you, you bastard!”


“What?” he hissed.


“Did I st-st-stutter? How could I have thought that-“ I stopped myself before I could admit anything out loud. 

I started to like Zayn, I did, and I don’t  know if it was the fact that women become emotionally attached after sex or that he was just…Zayn.


How stupid I was is the question of the century. 


I was brought out of thought when I heard Zayn’s low rumble. “Don’t ever call me that.”


“What? A bastard? Is that another explanation written in your book of secrets?”


“You’re such a bitch” he breathed out, shaking his head.


“What did you just call me?”


“You’re a bitch!” he shouted. “No wonder you don’t like your name, Winter. You’re a cold-hearted bitch!”


“Not true” I practically whispered.


“You asked my to have sex with you but-“ he shook his head. “Winter, I’ve known you since eighth grade, before you were Orion. Don’t you think its ironic how you only notice me once you need something?”


Eighth grade? I thought he… 


“I have feelings too, you know. The fact that you think I…wow.”


“Zayn you can’t blame me for-“


“I am” he hollowly laughed. “I’m gonna go and sulk about something that I intend to add to my book of secrets."

Life message of the day: When you fall for someone it sucks because it just doesn't seem to work out

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