Losing It // z.m

“What would you say if I offered you my virginity?"
Mischievous. Adamant. Curious.
What else is there to describe a girl on a mission?

Warning: Graphic scenes / Adult language


5. Chapter 3

Mild Sexual Content

I know many people say to cherish your virginity while you have it and I have. At the tender age of twelve I knew I didn’t want to wait long to have sex but I knew to be happy while I didn’t.


I’m not in a rush to lose it. I know I’m ready…so ready.


Life lesson of the day: If you’re having second thoughts don’t do it.


I know for sure that I won’t be having second thoughts because I’ve practically planned this whole thing out since I was fifteen. I wasn’t ready then, but now I know I am. 


I could do this with a boyfriend or something but for one, I don’t have one and second, some guys just can’t handle all of this Orion.


I roll my eyes when my French teacher assigns homework. This day sucks and the only thing actually brightening it up is the funny texts Autumn’s been sending me and passing Zayn in the hallway. 


I was heading towards French class when I saw Zayn walking the opposite way with his dark aura. I smiled and stepped right in front of him, making him bump into me. 




“Hey” he smiled.


I reached up and tapped the corner of his mouth, “You should do that more often.”




“Smile” I laughed, “Catch you later, V-card swiper.”


“Later, Virgin” he chuckled, moving so I could walk pass.


Now here I am waiting for the damn bell to ring. Just ten more minutes until school ends. My phone vibrated and I glanced down at my lap where it was to read the text.


-So you’re letting Zayn swipe the card?- Autumn text.




-Why don’t you wait till after high school or something?-


-Why wait when I’m ready now?-


-I’m waiting for marriage…once I find the guy of course-


-That’s you, not me. I love your values and perspective on certain things but this is one thing I’m gonna have to disagree on-


-what do you mean?-


-Nothing…forget it. I’m ready to have sex. I know I am. At least I’m not doing it because everyone else is or because someone’s pressuring me to. I’m doing it because I want to.-


-Why can’t you just let it happen?-




-Damn, no need to yell. I get it. Whatever helps you sleep at night.-


-Or moan at night…same thing lol-


She didn’t text me back after that and I guessed it was because her evil Chem teacher yelled at her about texting and then took her phone. Typical Ms. Teller.


That’s why the bitch is still single.


…So am I.


“Okay class your assignment is online. I expect it to be turned in on Monday.”


The bell rang and I practically ran out of that class.


I dialed a number on my phone and put it to my ear, waiting impatiently as it rang. 



“Zayn! Where are we meeting again?”


“Junior parking. I’m on my way there.”


“Same, see you in a bit.”


I paced across campus and when I got to the parking lot. “Hey!” I called to Zayn. He didn’t see me because he was on his phone.


“Hey Winter!” I turned at the stupid name to see this kid from my English class, 


“It’s Orion.”


“Right. I’m Lexington.”


“I know. You’re in my english class.”




“So…why are we talking?”


“Oh yeah. There’s this party next Friday and I want you to come.”


“I don’t like going to randoms’ houses.”


And I’ve never been to a party.


“Not a randoms’, mine. It’s my party to kick off spring break. You comin’?”


“You’re cute enough so I’ll consider it.”


“Alright, I’ll send an invite over twitter.”


"I don’t have a twitter but just tell Autumn and she’ll let me know.”


He smiled and bit his lip before saying, “I hope to see you there, sweetness.”


I playfully rolled my eyes and turned to make my way to Zayn again



“Mr. Malik!” I scream, making him—and nearly everyone else— snap his head in my direction. He held up a finger and I’m guessing it meant to wait since he was still on the phone.


I just shrugged it off and unlocked my car door and hopped in. I twisted the key enough so the radio was on and turned the volume up when I heard Summer by Calvin Harris. I made sure the volume was high and left the door open when I got up and started dancing in front of my car.


Everyone either leaving or getting to their cars looked at me, including a laughing Zayn.


The ones who cheered and egged me on got waves and shouts. The one’s who told me to stop or dissed me got really acquainted with my middle finger.


Some girls that I knew from classes came to me and danced with me. 


Once the song ended some clapped and waved me off. Zayn walked up with a smile on his face. “You like to put on a show.”


“Indeed I do. Now let’s get going, Malik. You have a virginity to take.”


On my way home I kept looking into my rearview mirror just to make sure Zayn was still following me. I didn’t want him chickening out on our deal.


Was I nervous? Maybe. 

I mean I was showing my naked body to a guy I had truly only met three days ago. I’ve never been naked around anyone but my parents when I was a baby.


I pulled up into my driveway and put my car in park. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and got out. Zayn pulled in and when he got out of his car he awed at my house.


“Nice place.”


“Eh, it’s whatever."


“Parent’s home?”


“Now why would I do this with my parents home?”


He shrugged.




I unlocked my front door and swung it open. “Home sweet home.” I set my bag and keys down before making my way to the kitchen. “You need anything? Water? A snack?”


“I’m a growing boy, Orion. I’m gonna need a meal running in system if we’re gonna do this right.”


I laughed and shook my head. “Whatever. My specialties are sandwiches and mac nd cheese. Take your pick.”


“A breakfast sandwich would be nice.”




“Chop chop, Malik. My mom gets here in a few hours.”


“You can’t rush this” he said as he motioned towards his body.


“This sex better be life changing if you’re taking this long.”


He rolled his eyes and finished off his glass of water. He burped—disgustingly might I add— and breathed out, “Where’s your room?”


“Follow me.”


I went up to my room with Zayn right behind me. 


“Well you sure are prepared” he murmured from behind me.


I shrugged, knowing he was talking about the condoms on my desk. “Babies or disease are two things I don’t plan on having in my new future.” I turned to face him and took a deep breath. “Now, just…take off my clothes.”


“Bossy” he teased, gripping the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my head. I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down my legs, stepping out of them.


He bit his lip as he gazed at me from head to toe and back up again. “You’re nervous” he stated as he took my trembling hand into his own.


“Of course I am! I’m standing here damn near naked.”


“You’ll be completely naked in a few minutes.”


“Whatever.” I turned and walked towards my bed before sitting on the edge of it, facing him.


“Now you get undressed.”


He took off his jacket and tossed it over the chair in my room. I watched as he hesitantly grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked it over his head.


He had ink…everywhere.


“What the hell…” I softly thought out loud. “You have a lot of tattoos.”


He cleared his throat and nodded, “Yeah.”


I watched him take off his belt and jeans, his tatted skin stretching over muscle. Zayn was thin…yes, but a lean type of thin. I didn’t judge the build on guys anyway. Chubby ones were cute and thinner ones just gave me more of a chance to wrap myself completely around them.


I started to breath heavily and I moved back on my bed so my bare feet were planted on it.


“Hurry up” I panted.


“You’re ready, I see” he lightly chuckled. “I must be pretty sexy” he smiled.


I bit my lip, gazing at his bare torso and defined lines that lead into his briefs. You have no idea. 


I turned around on my stomach and crawled to get under the covers. 


“What are you doing?”


“Getting my sheets ready. Isn’t it obvious?”


“No, you’re not” he laughed. I felt his hands grasp my ankles and flip me around on my back. I gasp at the sudden movement and held a shocked expression when he pulled on my legs to slide me closer and kneeled between them. 


“Oh shit” I moaned as his mouth connected with the side of my neck. That was hot. 


I felt him smile against my neck and thinned my lips together to keep from making an outburst like that again.


“We can’t start unless you’re ready” he heatedly mumbled against my lips. 


“I am…I’m so ready” I breathed out.


“Down here I mean” he said, reaching his hand down and pinching the material of my undies. Pulling it back and letting it go so it would snap back. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from between my lips.


“Seems as if you are” he commented. “Sit up.” 


My chest heaved as I did what he said. He reached behind me and unsnapped my bra. I brought my arm up across my chest to stop it from falling. “W-wait.”


“You’re nervous. You know we can wait-“


“No, it’s just…they’re my boobs” I breathily laughed. 




How could you explain to someone that your breasts were an insecure part of your body because they were a bit underdeveloped. At least in my eyes they were.


“Never mind” I said and slid the blue bra off. He stared down at them, his eyes widening a bit.


I felt heat travel up my neck and face as he did so. 


“There’s nothing wrong with them” he said. 


“You’re just saying that.”


“I’m not saying I’ve seen a lot of female anatomy in my life” he began in a teasing voice, “but I’m sure your…boobs, are fine.”


I gulped down my stupid insecurities in a bitter whop of saliva and nodded my head. “Okay, continue.”


He gently pushed me back on the bed and began placing hot, sloppy kisses along my collar bone and up my neck. My hands instinctively threaded into his thick black hair but he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down so I wouldn’t. 


He continued to practically taunt me. He rolled his hips, pressing his length against my core. I moaned out and tilted my hips so I’d get a better angle.


“Zayn…Zayn you’re teasing me” I panted.


He smiled and gazed into my eyes but then that’s when his grin dropped. His grip loosened on my wrists and he held himself up by his forearms as our noses unconsciously brushed.




I sighed out at the sound of my name from him. “Yeah?” I whispered back.


“Are you sure? Completely one hundred percent sure?”


“Yes, Zayn, I’m so sure about this” I softly stated, reaching up and stroking his cheek. My breath caught in my throat at the intimate action and I immediately dropped my hand.



I inhaled deeply when he placed a soft kiss under my eye and smiled.

“Let’s get you under the sheets.”

The next chapter will be a full sex scene. Please disregard the next update if you feel uncomfortable reading it. I do not write super explicit smut so it's not that bad.


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