Losing It // z.m

“What would you say if I offered you my virginity?"
Mischievous. Adamant. Curious.
What else is there to describe a girl on a mission?

Warning: Graphic scenes / Adult language


21. Chapter 19

Things have been tense between Zayn and I since the other day after our talk. 

"You guys need to fuck and get it over with," Mari snickered.

I rolled my eyes, scrolling down my computer screen. "I don't think little boys deserve sex."

Mari laughed at that one because he knew I was talking about the both of them. Just yesterday we got a call from Mari's new school, telling us how they caught him in the janitors closet with one of his little girlfriends. He's suspended. He would'v been expelled if they had actually gotten to the act but the fact that her pants weren't even off yet really saved his ass.

Zayn smacked his lips and got off the couch. "I'm going to the bar."

I scrunched my eyebrows, "I thought today was your day off."

"I changed my mind," he sarcastically replied, "I'm clocking in."

I sighed and pretended that didn't hurt me as I continued to read this article. This is the second time this week he's worked late or gone to work on his off days. 

"Bring me back some Tequila," Mari shouted after him.

The door slammed the same time I shut my computer. "He's not bringing that back for you."

"I know," he smiled, "I just like to mess with his grumpy ass."




It's been two weeks and Amelia finally called, telling me all about her new foster sister. They're very close and like to play trucks together. That was the highlight of the past several days because Zayn has really been getting on my nerves. 

It's midnight and he isn't home. I'm really worried and scared to confront him about my assumptions.

I miss him.

He's either at class all day, getting his GED, or working all night.

We don't talk and he always seems to ignore me. Mari says he's just in one of those moods but I can't just take that answer and run. I need more than that.

I can't fall asleep tonight. I need to talk to him about this.

I don't know what time it is when he finally comes home , but I know my eyes burn from trying to stay up too long. It's completely dark and I hear him rustling with his clothes before getting into bed. We don't cuddle and we definitely don't kiss goodnight. 

"Zayn," I croak, "we need to talk."

He lets out an irritated breath and  turns onto his back. "I'm tired, Orion."

"But Zayn I really need to know-"

"I'm asleep."

I squeezed my eyes shut to stop myself from cursing. I really tried not to but as I huffed and threw the covers off of me I couldn't help but mutter, "You're such an asshole."

I grabbed my pillow and stalked out of the tiny bedroom and into the living room where Mari was on the pullout bed. I pushed him over and plopped onto the creaky mattress. 

"He'll get over it," Mari grumbled.

"Yeah, whatever."

The next morning while Mari volunteered to make breakfast, Zayn stared him down and asked him, "Where did you sleep?"

"Next to your smokin' girlfriend. We made mad passionate love. She has the cutest little mole right near her-"

"Oh my gosh, shut up," I laughed, throwing a slice of my strawberry at him.

"I don't think that's funny at all."

I rolled my eyes at Zayn's input. "We didn't ask if you liked it," Mari groaned, "I mean, you're not banging her so who the hell is? Can't just waste grade A pus-"

Next thing I knew Zayn had Mari's shirt in his fists and his back pressed to the fridge.

"Shut the hell up!"

"Zayn!" I yelled, going over to them wrenching him off of Mari. "It was just a joke. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Yeah, man, back off of me," Mari shouted, pushing Zayn off of him.

I looked at him, like really looked at him and he just looked so tired. Although he was exhausted I don't believe that to be an excuse to his behavior.




This went on for another few weeks. Zayn and Mari sort of made up so the house is less tense but Zayn and I aren't really talking. Detective Nicks has me doing a bit more at the office but I'm glad that I can do something that can take my mind off of everything even though it does add on a little more stress.

It was night and Zayn wasn't home again. I've resulted in watching cheesy romance movies on Netflix and texting my parents more often. Mari has made some more little friends and has started spending nights with them, leaving me lonely. 

One moment I'm watching the girl run into the guys arms after saying yes to his proposal and the next my eyes are closed and I'm having a similar dream.

I'm woken up by a blanket being thrown over me. "Zayn?" I whisper.

"Yeah, go back to sleep babe," he mumbles and kisses the side of my head. He climbed over me and cuddled me from behind. Just those simple actions had the dam breaking. First there were tears but then I was raked with sobs.

"Do you-do you e-even love me any m-more?"

I turned my face into my pillow and continued to cry. This hurt to much. I felt arms wrapped around me and warm my entire body. "Of course I do. I've always loved you and I always will."

I hollowly laughed, "You have a real poor way of showing it. I just. . . I feel like you're distancing yourself and acting out of character. I . . . I miss you, Zayn."

"I'm right here, baby, I swear. I'm so sorry, I've just been having a lot on my mind."

I sniffed, "I don't want excuses. I wanna know why you've been out so late."

"It sounds like you don't trust me."

"No. Not the way you've been acting lately."

He sighed, "I've been working a lot, trying to bring in some more money."

I scrunched my eyebrows and turned around to face him, "Money for what? We're perfectly fine."

With the dim light from outside I saw Zayn gnaw at his bottom lip. I snuggled closer to him and tangled our legs together. He rustled around with his pants for a bit before grabbing my hand and sliding a cool band on my finger, making my eyes widen. "I had to pay it off," he simply said.

"Zayn," I cautiously said. 

His hand laced with mine and he brought it up to his lips, kissing my warm skin. "This isn't for any other reason but my love for you."

I seemed to have lost my breath, "Is it. . ."

"Um. . .Well there's no diamond because I don't really have the money for it right now but when I do I want you to come with me and pick-"

I smashed my lips against him. "You're such an asshole," I whispered against my lips. "You scared the hell out of me."

He smiled against my lips and continued to kiss them. The hand that was once laced with mine was now on my ass, encouraging me to wrap my leg around his hip.

I moaned, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Mari. . .Mari isn't home," I hissed as he trailed his lips and teeth down my neck. He knew all my spots.

"Perfect," he chuckled and slid his hands down my shorts.




"You two look too happy for my liking," Mari said, narrowing his eyes at us. "You guys made up?"

"Yeah," I smiled, looking over at Zayn who was typing up a paper on my laptop. 

"Wait. . .Is that the ring? You said you weren't gonna ask her for a few months."

I didn't know who was more upset. Me at the fact that Mari knew this whole time or Zayn who looked mad at him spoiling his original plan. A smile replaced his frown through so I guess everything is all good.

"I couldn't wait, "he chuckled.

"You're losing it bro," Mari said, shaking his head. "I think you've already lost it."




The End


Happy Holidays '15


Love you all


Gotta Zayn...Jk



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