Losing It // z.m

“What would you say if I offered you my virginity?"
Mischievous. Adamant. Curious.
What else is there to describe a girl on a mission?

Warning: Graphic scenes / Adult language


12. Chapter 10

A/N: I know, I know, "Mone' where have you been?!" Well, sweets, I've been in California on break! I swear I was gonna update before then but I forgot to save it to Movella first so it was just stuck on my computer. Then when I got back from Cali I had to study bunches for finals. They start tomorrow! So glad I can update though and next chapter...It's about to get cray. 

“Y-yes, this is Zayn. Um, Zayn this is my dad.”


Zayn cleared his throat and stood, holding out his hand, “It’s nice to meet you…”


“Marlo, but you can call me Mr. Shadows” he finished, giving a squeeze to Zayn’s hand that I even saw was hurting. 


“Right” Zayn said, taking his hand back and softly caressing it. Whimp.


“So dad, what are you doing here?” I nearly squeaked.


“Last time I checked I paid the bills here.”


I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm. 


“I left my work badge here and couldn’t get back in the building.”


“Uh, I think it’s on the kitchen table.”


He was barely listening though, eyeing Zayn the entire time. “And what do you do in school, Zayn? Any extracurricular’s?”


“N-no, sir.”


“Hm, and how exactly do you know my daughter?”


I wanted to sink into the ground and hopefully take Zayn with me because this was embarrassing. I couldn’t tell my dad that I sought sexual favors from the guy and I hoped he wouldn’t blab the truth out of nerves.


“We’re actually in biology together.”


Oh, thank the goodness 


“Hm, getting good grades in that class?”




“I’m so sorry about him” I apologized for the billionth time. 


“It’s fine” Zayn softly chuckled. He tried to play it off but I know he was still a bit edgy. “He’s kind of cool, actually.”


“Ridiculous, that’s what he is.”


We were laid on the couch, deciding to watch some boring TV show once my dad left. With my head on his chest I could hear his heart and enjoyed the lull my head went through whenever he breathed. 


“So I was wondering…” he trailed off, stroking his hand down my back and up again. 


“Yeah?” I softly laughed, finding it odd he’d just stopped talking.


“My dad wanted to know if you’d want to come over for dinner” he rushed out.


I lifted my head and frowned down at him. “Your dad?”


“He decided that yesterday would be a bonding day, which I hate, and he coaxed you out of me.”




“Once you’re better I’d really like to have you over for dinner” he softly replied, stroking down my jaw.


Meet his dad? His parent? The one he supposedly despised? 


This was getting…serious, and I didn’t if I liked it yet or not.


“Sure” I whispered back, giving him a closed-lip smile. 


He grinned up at me. “I’m sure you can do better than that” he laughed, tapping the side of my mouth.


“Nope, don’t think I can.”


He grabbed my jaw and squeezed, making my cheeks scrunch and my lips involuntarily pop out. I tried to laugh but my mouth being shaped this way made it nearly impossible.


“I’m gonna drool!” I muffled a screech.


He laughed harder and ever started to tickle me with his other hand.


“Zayn stop!”


I tried to pry his hand away from my face while fighting the other away from my body. 


I saw a line of drool fall from my mouth and land on his neck before I bursted into laughter. He let go of me to frantically wipe it off, using the cloth of my shirt to do so. 


“That’s gross, Orion!”


“Hey! I warned you!”





“I don’t think today is a good day to do this. I keep fucking tripping!”


“You’re nervous.”


“I just stopped treatment last week!”


Zayn sighed and pulled the car over. “I can take you back home if that’s what you want.”


I bit at my lip and entangled my fingers together. “I rather we have sex in your sexy car. It’ll go so well together and-“


“Orion!” he exclaimed, a laugh bursting from inside him. “You have the dirtiest mind.”


“My mind was born in the gutter. Now, are you gonna consider my offer or…”


“No.” I pouted. He pulled onto the road again. “My dad’s expecting us soon and…and I didn’t bring condoms.”


“Hm, I guess I’ll have my own fun then.” I leaned over and started kissing below his ear.


“What are you doing?”


“Eyes on the road, Malik.” I nipped and licked at his ear and sucked on his neck all the while my hand pressed on him through his jeans.


“Oh, shit” he breathed out. “I can’t…I can’t drive like this.”


I softly laughed as I unbuttoned his jeans. “You’ll catch on quickly,” I whispered. 


“But Orion-“


“Shh, it’ll be quick.”




I smugly smiled as Zayn stumbled out of the driver seat and onto his driveway. I watched him hastily button up his pants and settle the wrinkles in his shirt. 


I was right, it didn’t last long. I barely touched him for a minute before he came. When he did though, it was pretty satisfying.


I followed him to his front door and watched him just walk in. “I’m home, Mari, and I have company so put on some damn clothes.”


I had to laugh at him. He seemed so serious something so little as having me over.


A few minutes later when Zayn had me settled in his kitchen drinking a glass of water, a boy just a bit younger than us and a more pretty-boy version of Zayn walked in.


“So this is Orion,” he smiled and every hint of it told me it was flirtatious. 


“Yeah, you must be Mari.”


“Oh, so the introvert actually talks about me. Hope they’re good things.”


My brow creased for a second. Did Mari know about Zayn’s past? If he did, would he mock him like that? There is a reason for his turtle-shell ways. 


I slightly shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts. “Uh, yeah, only good things. So, you knew my sister?”


His cheeks instantly tinged. “Yeah, I knew Indus.”


I rose an eyebrow at him. It must’ve intimidated him because he started scratching at the back of his head. “Is there something else…”


“I just liked her…as a person!” he quickly rushed out. “I really liked her.”


I slightly smiled and looked over at Zayn who was sketching away in his little green book. “What are you working on now?”


“Probably another naked pic of you,” Mari snickered. 


Zayn snapped his head up with wide eyes and shook his head, “I have never sketched you naked,” he assured me then cut his eyes at his brother. “Go to hell, Mari.”


“That offer of pinning it on the ceiling above your bed is still available. I wouldn’t mind-“






“So…your dad, is he coming?”


Zayn sent a weak smile my way and went back to cutting potatoes. “He comes home late. This is how it usually works.”


“You cook like this all the time?”




Wow, I could never. I’m probably the laziest person ever in existence. Cooking dinner sounds like…work. I cringe at the thought.


I can’t believe I’m about to suggest this but...“Do you need any help?”


“Oh no,” he chuckled, “don’t start feeling bad for me. I’ve been doing this for years and I’m perfectly okay with it.”


That was the problem. I already felt bad for him. After telling me about his past I came to a conclusion that Zayn needed me. Not just saying that to brag about the awesome person we all know I am but he really needs someone to talk to. He needed a friend. 


I want to help him feel free any way possible and no matter if that creep was still out there, victimizing others, I’d make it happen. 


I’m Orion freakin’ Shadow’s for crying out loud. I can do anything. 


“I’m just offering. It would help me to get up every once in a while.”


“You just stopped therapy. I don’t think standing around here cutting vegetables will help. Just sit there and waited another half hour.”


I sighed and rested my chin in my hands, watching him. “I think you should join a club.”


“Uh, what? That was random.”


“I’m serious. I won’t be here next year and I really don’t want to leave you alone. I want you to make friends. I bet there are some people that have the same interests as you.”


“You sound like a concerned parent,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.


I bit at my lip as I stared down at my entangled fingers. “I’m not saying it to tease you or force it upon you,” I quietly said. “I’m just…I’m worried about you.”


He set his knife down and shifted on his feet to fully face me. “Why exactly are you worried?”


“Because…you know…”


“Enlighten me.”


“No offense but you were such a loner and you’re not all that approachable. I bet if you made some friends-“


“Oh, so I’m not a loner when I’m with you and only approachable when needed for sexual favors.”


“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” What a lost cause. This is what I get for trying to be the good guy.


“No, that’s exactly what you meant,” he snapped. “Maybe I should just go around asking for sex too so I can meet a fucked up girl and try to fix her.” 


That sarcastic asshole. “Look at you getting all defensive. The only reason you’re getting mad is because you know I’m right.”


“Just shut up, Orion,” he seethed, turning around to go back to his previous task.


“Why? Can’t handle it?”


He didn’t answer back and I just rolled my eyes out of annoyance. I’m trying to help with frustrating ass-wipe but my efforts get shot of a cold shoulder? Fuck that.


“I want to go home.”


“Well I don’t know how you’re getting there because I’m not taking you.”


He has the nerve. “Take me home now.


“Or what? You gonna hit me?”


I gritted my teeth and cried out, “Why are you acting like this?”


“You’re annoying me so please just stop.”


That’s exactly what I did. I stopped. Not because I’m some obedient dummy. I stopped because I had nothing else to say to him. I guess you could say I was the passive aggressive type. I’d make someone suffer just with my silence and that’s exactly what I was going to do. 


Let’s see how you crack, Malik




Zayn’s dad came an hour later and we ate our food in silence. Meeting him was odd. Knowing what he did clouded my judgement and no matter what he’d say or try to joke about, I know he wasn’t the good guy.


What really made sense was that his dad knew absolutely nothing about me, leading me to believe that Zayn never talked to his dad and if he did, I was never the topic of discussion.


This was a horribly broken relationship that I’ve witnessed and neither of them seem to care. Mari, on the other hand, was awkward when it came to the lot of them sitting around. I understand why. No one spoke and maybe that’s how it was all the time. 


Seeing this made me want to go home to my mom and just hug her because we never really had the best relationship. I cleared my throat and spoke up, “It was great but I really should be getting home.”


“Okay. Will Zayn be taking you?”


I glanced over to him and saw him just stare at me. He looked lost but I couldn’t have cared less. 


You’re annoyed, Malik? Well I can be annoyed too.


He nervously looked away and down at his empty plate, “Yeah, I’ll take her.”




After an agonizingly silent minutes in his car I rushed out as soon as he hit the brake in front of my house. 


“Orion, wait!”


I went as fast as my weak legs would take me and stumbled in my bag for my keys. 


“I didn’t mean it, okay?” he urged, grabbing onto my hand that held my keys


“I’ve noticed you don’t mean a lot of things,” I mumbled, trying to loosen his grip.


“And what’s that supposed to mean?”


“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” I snapped, yanking my arm away. “Look Zayn, you have a lot of…skeletons and I’m trying to help you but you won’t let me. Maybe it’s best if we just…”


“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “It’s just hard right now because I’m just so used to not having anyone ever.” 


“Well I’m right here Zayn,” I seethed, “and you’re throwing it right back at my face.”


He looked down between us for a few seconds before looking back up at me. “I’m sorry.” 


Oh no, the voice crack. I was a sucker for tears and if he started crying in front of me — literal tears — I’d break and bring him into my arms.


I whimper escaped me as my eyes watered. Why do I keep putting myself in these damn situations?


“Maybe it’s best if you left,” I whispered, avoiding his eyes as best I could but they were practically staring a whole into me.


I pressed my lips together to hold my emotions as I saw him lean into me from the corner of my eye. I felt his heat before I felt his lips. They slowly and gently pressed against the corner of my mouth. 


I inwardly sighed, turning my head just a bit towards him. I wanted more, of course I did, but I know it would change my current state.


I barely brushed my lips against his before pulling away and stepping back. “B-Bye Zayn.” I quickly opened my door and stepped inside.


A smile, the slightest of smiles, graced my face once I heard his muffled voice through the door.


“I…I guess I’ll see you later."

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