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My parents got divorced. I left my two best friends. I moved with my dad to LA which meant a new beginning. I wasn't going to fall in love. I foreboded myself of getting heartbroken. Then I meet a guy. A infuriating guy that stole my heart, crushed it, then mended it. Our cycle runs over and over again till I break completely. I find myself dying then I get released by my knight and shining armor but he wasn't really my knight. I then find myself starting over again. My life was one fucked up circle.

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2. Finding the Right Fish

It was my first day of school.. I was nervous as hell. I basically woke up two hours before I needed too. Dad was still sleeping. 
Yesterday I spent the day at the beach with my father. Nothing exciting really. I stayed in my own privacy bubble and tanned still wearing a oversized tshirt. I'm a joke. I mean, who wears a tshirt trying to tan? I sighed. 

Currently I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, still in my pajamas. I was listening to "Tenerife Sea' by Ed Sheeran. I was trying to control my irregular breathing that was now happening. I sounded like a diseased horse. Breath in and out, in and out. I looked down at my nails and suddenly panicked. I needed to paint them. As you can see, I was trying to make a good impression. My heart beat accelerated as I realized that I didn't have nail polish. I stood up and ripped the headphones out of my ears. I left the bathroom to my sleeping dad and shook him gently. His snoring got louder as I shook him harder. He snorted then finally opened his brown eyes. 
"Dad, we need to go to the store." I whispered as my breathing was still irregular. 
"What? Why?" He got up. 
"I need something really important!" My breathing was coming short. 
"What do you need?" 
"Nail Polish." I rushed and started putting on my Uggs. 
"Nail Polish? Sweetie, it's 6:30 am. You can get nail polish after school when the store will be open." 
"You don't understand! I have to have nail polish." I started to hyperventilate. I fell to the floor and hugged my knees. My dad rushed towards me and held me to his chest. 
"Ivy, it's okay. I'm here." He whispered then kissed my forehead. Tears spilled down my eyes. My breathing calmed but my sobs weren't. 
"Hey, you're going to have an amazing first day. There is nothing to worry about."
"Dad, I don't think I can do it." I whispered. He hugged me tighter and rubbed soothing circles on my back.  
"It's okay baby." He rocked us from side to side. I clung onto my dad's shirt and quieted my sobs. 
"If you ever get too overwhelmed at school, call me and I'll get you."
I nodded my head but the tears weren't stopping. I stood up and smiled softly down at my dad. I saw that his eyes were a little watery. I was still crying. 
"I'm going to get ready." 
"Okay, I'm always here Ivy." He got up as well and sat on his bed. I bit my lip and went to my suitcase. Tears fell down as they hit my suitcase. I sniffed every five seconds. I was a complete mess. I picked out my black jeggings, white tank top, and a blue and white striped sweater. I brought them inside with me to the bathroom. I turned on the shower with a huge lump forming in my throat. I was so weak. I couldn't stop crying. Pathetic. I stripped off my polka dotted pajama pants and white oversized tshirt. I entered the shower and took a refreshing shower. I drowned my tears. 

 

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Dylan's POV

I got out of the shower. Water drops dripped off my body as I shook my hair around. I got a towel and wrapped the lower part of my body. I walked out of my bathroom to find Liam checking himself out in the mirror. 
"How'd you get in my room dude?" I opened my closet and looked through my clothes. 
"Your hot mom let me in." 
"Gross man." I chuckled. I got out a blue button up shirt and khakis. I put on my black boxer briefs and my khakis. I looked back at Liam and saw him on his phone. No surprise. 
"How's Maisie?" I asked. 
"She's so hot dude. Like her body is amazing but we're doing great. Sex, sex, and sex." 
"Sweet." I replied as I buttoned up my blue shirt. I tucked my shirt in my pants and put a brown belt on. I let the top couple of buttons undone to reveal my chest a bit. It makes the ladies go nuts. I put my black socks and shoes on. 
"Have you found a girl?" Liam asked. I looked at him and gave him a pointed look. Of course I haven't found a girl. I don't date, I do hookups. 
"You need to find a girl dude."
"No girl is special enough for me to stay with." 
He rolled his eyes and dropped the conversation. 
"You ready?" I sprayed a little Cologne. 
"Yeah." He stood up and gave me a hand hug. We walked out of my room. I quickly threw a bye over my shoulder to my mom and left the house. We got into my black range rover and headed our way to hell.

 

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Ivy's POV

I got out of my dad's car with light breaths. I was at school. I walked up the steps that lead to the school and found tons of people walking and talking. I saw a couple of people being reckless and other's just hugging. I didn't know anyone here. I entered the building and made my way to the reception's office. 
"H-hi I'm Ivy, t-the new student."
"Ivy! Welcome to Beverly Hill's High School!" The receptionist named Wanda exclaimed. I smiled at her. 
"T-Thank you." 
"Here's your schedule" She handed me a schedule with my name at the top. 
"Natalia should be here shortly to show you around, okay?" She said with a huge smile. I smiled back and nodded my head. I looked at my schedule and saw I had all A classes (Pre-Ap and AP) except math. Math was my low quality. I was horrible at it. I couldn't do math to save my life. I also had art and P.E as my classes. A girl who was model skinny and tall with black hair and green eyes entered the Reception Office. She had a really short white laced dress with a white purse hanging on her arm. She smiled a sickly smile and came towards me. 
"You must be the new girl. I'm Natalia." 
"I-I'm Ivy."
"What's your first class Ivy?" She asked as she motioned for me to follow her. 
"Anatomy." My breathing started to stagger. I was losing control. I felt like I was going to barf on this black haired barbie. 
She took my schedule and nodded. 
"I have P.E and Math with you!" She said as she led me through the long hallway. 
"Right now you have class with Mr. Skelley. After class, wait for me and I'll take you to your next class." 
"T-thank you." I said quietly. She seemed nice and the opposite of what I expected. She took me to a class with SKELLEY in Caps on the door. She opened it and walked inside. I hid my hands in my sweater and bit my lower lip. I was barely breathing. 
"Mr. Skelley, you have a new student." The entire classroom became quiet instantly. Everyone's eyes turned towards me as everyone took in my appearance. I looked at the teacher and smiled a little. I hid my face with my hair. 
"I-I'm I-Ivy." I stuttered. My breathing was now out of control. My heart beat was beating a mile a minute. My palms became really sweaty as blood came out of my lip as I bit it too hard. 
"Hi Ivy, I'm Mr. Skelley and I'm your anatomy teacher. You can just sit by Dylan in the back." He smiled kindly as I made my way to the back of the classroom. I took a seat beside a black haired and brown eyed boy. He looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. I looked away and hid my face again with my hair. I got out a empty book and a black pen. Mr. Skelley started his lesson about anatomy. 
"Hey." I heard someone whisper. My heart then started racing again. I bit my lip and turned to face the black haired boy. 
"H-Hi." I breathed out. My lungs were closing suddenly. 
"I'm Dylan!" He reached his hand out and looked at me. 
"I-Ivy." I reached out my hand which was covered by my sweater. I shook his hand quickly and snatched it back. My throat was closing. I was breathing heavily but quietly as i felt like passing out. 
"Where are you from?" He asked. I was so nervous. 

'Don't screw this up Ivy.'

"N-new York." 
"New York? Wow, I was born there."
I shakily smiled then bit my lip again. I pinched my thighs with very little breath. 
"Why are you in Cali?" He asked. 
"I-I m-moved with my d-dad." I whispered then whipped my head the other way as I was now hyperventilating. Tears burned the back of my eyes as I tried to control myself. 

'Breath Ivy. Stop being so pathetic. Just calm down and talk to the damn boy.'

I shakily breathed and finally calmed my breath. I opened my eyes again and turned back to Dylan. 
"You okay?" He asked with concern laced through his face. 
"Y-Yeah." He nodded his head then turned away from me. I turned away as well and looked back at the teacher. He was done trying to be my friend. I'm not surprised. I basically had a panic attack in front of him which obviously freaked him out. More tears filled my eyes as they begged to be released. My sight got blurry as the tears got too much. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall freely down. As I realized what I was doing, I quickly brought my hands up and furiously wiped them off. 
"Hey Ivy." I heard. My eyes widened. I breathed out again and turned to face him. I really hoped I didn't have make up on my face. 
"Yeah?" 
"You wanna hang out with me and my friends during lunch?" I couldn't believe it. Lunch with me? ME? I was actually planning on eating alone. 
"Uh s-sure. Thanks." He smiled which I smiled back. 
"What class do you have next?" I grabbed my schedule and handed him it. He looked it over and handed it back. 
"You have all classes with me except Math and Art. I can take you to our next class which is Pre- AP Geography." 
"A girl named N-Natalia was going to t-take me." I whispered. He grimaced as he shook his head. I was confused. 
"She's bad news Ivy. She's the queen bitch of the school. Ditch her. Your gonna hang out with me!" He said with a wink. My cheeks instantly reddened. I laughed lightly and nodded my head as in agreement. 
"I can introduce you to my friend Maisie later too. Your probably gonna like her." The bell rang. Maisie? Didn't I meet a girl named Maisie when I had that horrible panic attack at that burger joint? I did. I panicked. What if she told everyone about my pathetic ways? 
I saw Dylan pack his stuff up which I did the same. My heart was beating uncontrollably. I stood up with my bag over my shoulder. He had a backpack. 
"C'mon, I'll show you to Geog." I followed him as he led me out. I saw Natalia with two other girls, talking. One of them laughed and looked straight at me. 
Dylan navigated me in between people then suddenly stopped which caused me to bump into his back. He was extremely tall. 
"Sorry about that but do you know your locker?" I shook my head. 
"Can I have your schedule?" He asked. I took my schedule and handed it to him. He looked on the back of the sheet and handed it back. 
"I'll show you to your locker!" He said as he grabbed my hand and led me through the sea of teenagers. My cheeks flamed up as I was making physical contact with a boy. I mean, I have held hands with other boys, actually one boy named Riley, but this was different. His hands were huge which basically engulfed my tiny hands. We stopped in front of a blue locker with the number 2023 on the top. There was a lock placed on it. He put the code in and opened it for me. 
"Your code at the moment is 0000 but you can change it later." I put my backpack inside and grabbed another empty notebook and my pencil case. I closed it then locked it back up. 
"Ready?" I nodded my head. He grabbed my hand again as he took me up the stairs to the next level. We got to a door with the name JENKINS on it. We entered the room, which was half full. Class hadn't started yet. We walked to the teachers desk. He let go of my hand, I was suddenly sad and wanted his hand again. For some reason, him holding my hand made me feel safer and secure. 
"Hey Mrs. Jenkins, there's a new student named Ivy today." Dylan said which caused the teacher to look at me. She smiled softly. She looked pretty young. 
"Welcome Ivy. I'm Mrs. Jenkins."
"H-Hi." I said with a small smile. 
"You can sit anywhere you want. It doesn't matter." Mrs. Jenkins said and motioned for me to go. I smiled and thanked her. I followed Dylan to the back of the classroom and took a seat beside him- again. More and more kids filed into the room. A blonde haired boy walked towards us and gave a fist bump to Dylan. Since Dylan was sitting on the edge of the row, the blonde boy sat beside me which nearly gave me a heart attack. He was going to eventually talk to me. 
"Dude, Kenzie just gave me her number."
"Damn man, does she know about you and your girl?"
"Duh dude, the whole school knows. She just thinks I'm easy. Foolish girl." He said with a laugh. The boy looked at me then at Dylan then at me. 
"I'm Liam." The blonde boy said. I looked at him and smiled. I was suddenly nervous again. 
"I'm i-Ivy." 
"Well hello Ivy. It's really nice to meet you." I stuck out my hand but got embraced instead. I was taken aback but hugged him back. My heart was accelerating and my palms were getting sweaty. I felt like puking on Liam's back. He let go of me and leaned back in his chair. 
"Hand shakes are way too main stream for me." I chuckled and smiled. I felt better. My heart was slowly going back to my normal heart rate and I wasn't as tense. These two boys were too sweet and nice for me. I'm surprised that they decided to talk to a pathetic girl like myself. I thought they would be the popular jocks who dated skinny whores. Mrs. Jenkins started her class which got everyone to quiet down.  There was the occasional whisper of teens who were chatty. 
Liam leaned over which caused me to lean back. 
"Dude, have you seen my girlfriend?" Liam asked Dylan. Dylan looked over at Liam and looked around the room. He shook his head and shrugged. Suddenly the door to the classroom opened. A girl that looked way too familiar to me walked in the room. 
"Late again Ms. Kane. What is the excuse this time?" 
"I overslept." She said bluntly. She looked over at Liam and winked. Her eyes wandered to me and I finally remembered who she was. She was bathroom girl. I wanted to die then. She was going to tell Dylan and Liam and my growing friendship with them was gonna be gone. She looked at me and her eyes widened. Mrs. Jenkins said something but I was only hearing static. I was about to freak out. 
She walked towards us and sat in the chair beside Liam. She looked over at me with wide eyes. I looked at her back with tears in my eyes. They haven't fallen but they were there. Liam didn't even notice. He was drawing something. She finally relaxed her eyes and smiled. She mouthed 

'Let's talk after.'

I nodded my head and averted my attention back to the teacher who was rambling on about the population. I was too worried to pay attention and besides, I already knew this stuff. Geography is my favorite subject as well as Art. 
"Ivy, you're crying." I looked over at Dylan and scrunched my eyebrows with confusion. I raised my hands and touched my face. There were silent tears falling down my face. I wiped them off with the back of my hand and looked down. I was so ashamed. Dylan caught me crying. He was gonna think that I was a emotional train wreck (which I was) and not want to be friends. 
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked. 
"I-it's not important. I didn't e-even realize I-I was crying." I said. My tears had finally stopped. 
He wasn't convinced. He looked at me a little longer than necessary. 
"Let's talk during lunch yeah?" 
"O-okay." I stuttered. I didn't want to honestly. I had to give him a shitty excuse and yeah. I was gonna stutter and maybe have another panic attack. I rested my head on my arm and looked at my notebook. I got my pen and started drawing. I needed to get my mind off of all this shit. 

 

-------

The bell rang. I stood up and got my stuff. Maisie stood up as well and looked at me. 
"Hey, it's break time now which means we have a 15 minute break before we go to our next class. We can talk outside if you want?" I nodded my head. 
"Wait, what?" Dylan asked. 
"Oh, we already met. I just want to talk to her. We will meet up with you guys when we're finished." Maisie then smiled at Dylan. I felt jealous for some odd reason. She then started to walk away. 
"Wait!" We both turned around and looked at Liam. 
"Do I get my morning kiss baby?" Maisie smiled hugely before walking over to Liam. She grabbed the back of his neck with her free hand and pulled her lips to his. They kissed sweetly. She turned back around and led me out. We walked through the front door of the school to meet tons of teenagers goofing off in the front lawn of the school. She led to the side of the school were a huge oak tree was. She sat down and leaned against it. She patted the space beside her and I sat down. 
"How's your first day of school been so far?"
"I-it's b-been okay." I stuttered. 
"You don't have to be nervous around me. I'm not gonna hurt you." My heart beat was running crazily. 
"Ivy right?" 
"Yeah."
"Ivy, I just want to know what happened two day ago at that burger place." 
"I h-had a anxiety attack. I-I have them a lot."
"Social anxiety?"
"I-i get scared of talking to people."
"Do you have any friends back from where you're from?"
"Yeah, m-my two Best friends."
"Do you usually stutter around them?"
"N-no." I was so embarrassed. Her brown eyes shined as I saw her thinking. 
"Why are you so nervous around us? I can already tell that Dylan and Liam like you. There not going to judge you and tell you to get lost. They both are extremely sweet."
"I-i know. I-i just don't know why I get so nervous and a-afraid around n-new people. I-i'm not always like this. I-i guess it's because I b-barely know you." 
"And that's fine. Everyone's nervous when they're the new student. I just want you to know that there is nothing to be nervous about around me." 
"T-thank you."
"Now I'm not gonna tell Dyl or Liam about your anxiety attacks because i think it's unnecessary but just to tell you, they're not gonna hurt or judge you. You don't have to be shy around us." She smiled then I smiled back. A true smile too. I actually really like Maisie. She was really nice about this and she was helpful. 
"Now let's get back to Dylan and Liam before they do something cool without us." 
"O-okay" My heart slowed back down to the normal pace. I smiled. She hugged me tightly then led me back into the building. 

I think I was gonna be okay here.

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